you're doing the right thing, you need to protect yourself.
did you go to the grand jury? their job is to determine if there's enough reason to bind him over for trial... bacically to see if the facts to be presented justify the charge he's been arrested for.
just one more thought that will maybe help...
you've got a long list of losses... we all have losses and it's not easy, especially when one thinks of them as the defining moments in your life. it may help you to think of the good things, not the loss. each of those you loved and lost brought you joy, were a pleasure in your life, made your life richer in some way. if you spend your limited energy thinking of the good things you had with them, instead of the loss of them, you will lift yourself up more, shift some of the sense of sadness to a sense of gratitude.
there are some folks who've never has as many things to lose as you have... not as much love as you've had...
I know this doesn't make the loss less troubling, however, it wasn't only loss, but love, that you had.
If we focus only on the loss, that can be debilitating. if we focus on the love, our experience of life, even after loss, can be much lighter. it gives us something to work towards, to hang on to, a reason to put one foot in front of the other, even when things are hard.
maybe it would help to have a list of when those important to you came into your life, not when they left.
I know you've got a lot on your plate, choose where to put your limited energy, choose where to focus your attention, it will help.
been there, and sending you a big