Trouble child and teacher at my daughter's school

[Run-A-Muck Ranch]

Quote:
THis sounds exactly like my daughter...She is also 7 years old (will be 8 in August.)...We were just at the Dr. office yet again about 2 weeks ago...She had/has a sevre UTI....I have done the same thing with letting the teachers know, as well as sending extra clothes with all year long. Emma has also had accidents because of not making it to the bathroom..Or just plan not even knowing she has had to go.
Most of her teachers are wonderful with letting her go whenever she needs to, but there always seems to be a few that have issues with it..(This has been an on going thing since Emma was in Jr. Kind.)...I have had the Doctors write notes to the school/teachers. And that seems to help...The problem for Emma's teachers seems to be after awhile Emma gets used to the idea of just being able to go when needed but the teachers put the need on the back burner (so to speak) and forget about her need. And that's when she has accidents...Or after extended holiday breaks at school, it's as if the teachers need reminding at those times to let her go when needed...She is suppose to be able to go to the bathroom EVERY HOUR while at school..Weather she needs to go or not, they are suppose to let her leave the room when needed...Cuz sometimes she doesn't even know she has to go until her pants are wet...So every hour she is to be let outta class to go, and then any and every time she feels the 'need' inbetween those hour breaks...I know it's alot for her teacher(s) to have to deal with when there are 15 other kids in the classroom and they maynot all understand why Emma gets to go and they don't...
They are also suppose to let her go as soon as she gets to school, and it's suppose to be the very last thing she does at the end of school before getting on the bus...Abby and Emma have over an hour bus ride (1 hour and 25 minutes each way to and from school). So it's very important that they do these things...There have been times where the bus driver has gone outta his way and pulled over to let her go on the side of the road because she has had to go....They have a WONDERFUL BUS DRIVER and I couldn't ask for a nicer person for our kids to have for a bus driver....(not only because of this)....

Have you tried to get the doctors to write something to the school?? I know Emma's doctor wanted her to carry around a 'bedwetting alarmclock'. (I think that's what they call it, where it goes off every hour or two to remind you to go--or wake you up at night to go)...But I wouldn't do that...She didn't need 'more' attention drawn to her and her bathroom breaks....

I hope what ever it is, something works out for your daughter...It's very hard to have to deal with things like this at such young ages...
And yes kids can be VERY mean (even at 7 years old) when another has had an accident...Have had to deal with that a few times too...

 

[StrawberryHouseMouse]

I have got letters from her doctors. Earlier in the school year atlease. I havent had any reicently. I thought only one was needed. She does get infections a lot too and doesnt know some times that she needs to go. I myself have never personaly had to deal with this sort of issue. As Ive never known a kid to have this problem. And her doctors have not been all that helpful. Up untill she was 6 they didnt even think there was a problem. I was having a very hard time potty training her when she was younger and we had visits every month for check ups and shots. I spoke to them every time about it and they acted like it was normal. Then when she started school and was having these accidents I really started hounding them about it. At first they just told me that her bladder hadnt caught up with the rest of her body in growth. Then she started having a lot of infections and we had to get her some antibiotics atlease once a month if not more. Im thinking about switching doctors. Just collecting the records and finding someone else to see her. We only have a few more days of school left. At that time Im going to start looking into other schools. This one is the closest but honestly her school does not seem to care about her condition. And Ive mentioned everything that boy has done to her. When she comes home from school he some times yell at her from the bus. Where I can clearly hear it. And calls her things like whore and slut. He cusses like a sailor and has some friends that hangs out with him that does just the same. The teachers and bus driver dont seem to care at all. Boys will be boys type of thing. I dont want my daughter's childhood to be scared cause of all of this. I would home school if I could. But I have no idea where to start. Im afraid I wouldnt do as good a job at teaching her what she needs to know.

 

[kingmt]

You are the first person responsible for teaching her. If you don't do it then who knows what the schools will teach her.

As for her problem, I would tell her that if she needs to go then after informing the teacher to go even if the answer is no. When there is a problem with that you need to be at the school letting them know she will use the restroom when it is needed & not when they think it is time.

When I was going to school I didn't know I had to go until it was right there or to late. Most all of my teachers understood & was helpful. I did have one that I remember would not allow me to go & when I went anyways I was kicked out so the next time she told me no I peed all over the floor at her desk, another time in her seat& other places in the floor until she was tired of cleaning it up. Rarely after that did she say no but she didn't suspend me anymore for leaving.

So if she must pee her pants then make sure she lets it all go. If the teacher doesn't care if she just makes her pants wet, she might not like it being all over the floor.

 

[willowcol]

Well my daughter gets frequent urianry tract infections, after telling the school to let her go when she needed to go and them not listening (even with notes from the dr.) we finally just told her this: IF you really have to go and the teacher says no get up and go. Then go straight to the office and call me! They tried to suspend her after the first time, I said fine do it and we will sue! Never had a problem again, and the teacher soon realized it would be her that loses her job if she continued, I complained to the school board and they warned her.

 

[luvmychicknkids]

Quote:
First, about the teaching thing, that is just not true. Yes, a parent is responsible for teaching their child so much, but some of us are not cut out to be our child's sole educator. I see so many people misspell and misuse every other word then proudly brag they are homeschooling! All I can say is HELP that child! I give you kudos for admitting you don't feel comfortable. I never did and my kids are in public school.

Also, this child is already humiliated by the problem. Peeing a puddle in the floor will just add to her humiliation.

What willowcol said is the BEST approach. As long as you have documentation from your physician, I would tell her to go whether they let her or not and immediately call you if there is trouble. I have done this with other issues such as bullying. I tell my kids that if the school won't do what is right then they can do what they have to do and I will take over from there.

Good luck to you and your daughter. I know this has to be a very hard thing for both of you to be dealing with.

 

[farrier!]

Before school is out go sit in on her classes. In all honesty what they take all day to do you as a parent can cover in an hour or less!

There are all sorts of full step by step programs for homeschooling or you can pick and chose whatever you would like.

Usually there are homeschool groups in every area. Go meet some of the kids. You will find homeschool kids in general are not nasty or age centered like public school kids. They are respectful of adults and even the little ones will sound mature and act mature compared to public schooled kids.

I jumped into it just after the start of my daughter's 3rd grade year. I had no idea what to do either. We both love it and everyone has loved my daughter. She is now 13 and everyone expects her to be 16-18!
She does well with her 9 yr old and younger friends and with her best friend who is turning 17 soon.
Homeschooling teaches kids to cope with the real world.

You may find like I did that the only thing your daughter enjoys in public school is recess! Talk to her. Maybe try homeschooling for a bit. She can always go back, the public schools like their numbers up so the money keeps coming in.

 

[6chickens in St. Charles]

Before I start my rant, do you have pictures of your lavender chickens? I think one of our chicks could be called lavender!

Wow. It takes all kinds to make a world full of people!

My children learned ways to encounter bullying, too, online and through books/movies from the library. There are bullies all over our adult world, too, in church, at work, neighbors, etc. One could never run away from all the bullies in this world! Grade school is a really great opportunity to spend extra time together learning techniques to promote civilized behavior! Google it! The foul-mouthed kid in her school could give her quite a leg up, if you think of the foul-mouthed boss she'll encounter when she's 20! Only she'll ALREADY be practiced at civilizing the situation! Help her make her classroom a better place today, who knows what a world she'll make for us all later! Go for it! Dont run and hide in homeschool trembling in fear of bullies! Your child has equal opportunity BY LAW to be educated in the school system and participate fully in society, you don't have to hide her away from anybody. Give her the power!

Im a mom of a kid who's not quite average, too. Welcome to my world. Everybody's different, nobody's perfect. I also have 3 grown 40ish lady friends in Depends breifs. Your child walks in very good company!

 

[antiquebuff]

Absolutely don't allow this to happen! There are laws teachers must abide by if there is a special need for a student. I am a teacher and I know. She can loose her job in a minute. Now, don't send notes, take yourself down to the school and speak up! It's up to you, see the teacher, then the principle. If you get no results see the Superintendent and call the news station! As far as the bully is concerned most schools have a no bulling clause now , it does not matter of the age! Call your local news station! Don't let something like this ruin your childs life because it was not handled correctly by some teacher that wants to play God and thinks all children have the same needs. I bet the principle does not even know its happening!
Good luck to you and your child, I have seen so much of this in the classroom esp from teachers that have been there a long time or just beginning! I think they think they can change things because of their beliefs and not consider the child.

 

[6chickens in St. Charles]

Now that's what I'm talking about!

Maybe the bully kid and the inappropriate teacher bothers us so much when we're not so well practiced at standing up for our rights. I have been there, too. There's nothing like parenting to put us squarely on our own two feet to stand up for those who can't. Now I have a few more skills and I can back down a bully or a whole school district in defense of a child's rights. It took me some learning but it is well worth the effort, just listen to the bright, shiny skill set of antiquebuff today at 1:53. Experience in action! Now there's some highly toned skill on how to deal with bullying! Go get 'em! Here's to a more civilized society in which to raise our beautiful children and our beautiful chickens!

 

[KatyTheChickenLady]

yes this is wrong, yes there are laws, yes one can always do more. BUT we are adults looking at this problem. This is your precious little girls life, every day. Take her out of that d!@m school. Find a school that teaches with kindness and compassion, it will probably be inconvenient, maybe even difficult, but nowhere as bad as her days are right now.