UGH! Men! Rant

[Whispering Winds]

OOOOOOOOOhhhhhhh, Honey, you are being taken terrible advantage of. Who does all this while you are at school? Matt needs a smack upside his disrespectful head, and your dad is the one responsible for his being the way he is. . .you have been too nice to way too long. The day you leave for school would be the day I say to them, "fellas, its been fun. don't expect me back next summer, because the maid DONE LEFT THE ROOM!!!" Don't let them do this to you ever again, they saw a good thing coming and took terrible advantage of it. Shame on them. Good luck when you get back in school!!!!

 

[wombat]

Have a talk with your Dad about the amount of work involved. Agree to do an honest day's work every day in exchange for your room and board ... (and are you getting help with college?).

If you can't agree to terms, go get a job and your own place. Sorry, that's how the real world works. When I was your age, my parents had different, and far more lenient rules for my brother than for me. I joined the Army. I don't think I'd been at my parents home more than three days at a time in the past twenty+ years until we took our kids there to spend a week with them last summer.

Sometimes it "is what it is", even if it isn't fair. If you can't come to an agreement with your father, it's time to get out of his house.

 

[mamagardener]

It's sounds like dad is a little bit of a chauvinist. What do your brothers have to do everyday? Do they sit around or does dad give them "men chores"?

 

[Cara]

I'm sorry if this is a sore subject, please just ignore me if it is. But where is your mother?

Your father learnt he can act this way, and your brother is learning the same bad habits from him. You're not helping either of them in the long term by 'helping' them now. There aren't many women who will put up with this crap, seems some act that way themselves LOL

 

[Cetawin]

Oh wow...they would last about 1/2 day with me and I would be kicking their butts! I would not, could not and will not tolerate tht behavior PERIOD.

High school aged and not able to pick up behind himself? a grown man unable to take care of himself? Ridiculous. I would refuse to do it and make plans to be elsewhere most of the days or not be there at all.

It is rudeness, inmaturity and inconsideration at its best. You have to decide what to do about it and whether you take it from them or not. it is not your house technically so you can only do so much.

Good luck hon.

 

[cassie]

I read about a woman that solved the problem of slobs in a breathtakingly short period of time. She told everyone she was going to clean the house at such and such a time and she expected people's stuff to be out of her way by then. When she started to clean at the appointed time she just picked up everything that was out where it didn't belong, put it in garbage bags, and put it all in the dumpster. Toys, clothes, food, books. It didn't matter. They learned.

If I were you, I would be looking for some sort living arrangement elsewhere. If not for this year, definitely for next summer. Maybe room and board in exchange for light housework. Something. Meanwhile, just put Bubba's stuff in a heap in his room. When he squalls, don't respond except to tell him if he kept it picked up he wouldn't have those problems and that you are his sister, not his maid/slave.

Your situation is unhealthy on a number of different levels. Find a way to leave. BTW, people will walk all over you just as long as you let them. Also, go to flylady.net for some help in organizing your house and your life. You won't be sorry.

 

[Sugar Sand Farm]

Copy and print this post and leave it for them to see Maybe they are too dense to accept the fact they are using you. Maybe you can embrass them into helping you. Sounds like t hey have been waiting for you to come home to clean. You don't say what activities you have been doing together. It sound like the cinderella story. Girl get a grip they are using you. Its one thing if you were married to them but your not. I would clean up after myself and forget the rest. Believe me I have been picking up after my mommas boy husband with 35 years. It gets old very fast no matter how much you love them.

 

[kagedgoddess]

wow. i understand wanting to help out, but this is not helping out. just like everyone else said. your dad doesnt even have enuf respect to TALK to you about it decently! or to spit his seeds in a Cup? thats bad. my first husband was a pain in the *** with picking up his socks, it drove me nuts, he was a steel worker so they were REALLY gross. i threw every one i found behind his dresser, one day hes looking through his dresser ands says i cant find any socks, where are you putting them. i said idk what youre talking about, i havent seen any IN THE LAUNDRY BASKET in weeks. he got the hint, every peice of laundry ended up in the basket from then on... he found the missing ones when we moved. the dresser being too heavy for me to move, i wasnt tempted to give them back

as for thorwing away perfectly good stuff... goto www.freecycle.org find your nearest city and someone will gladly come out and take any unappreciated items off your hands, lol. its what i do when my kids wont pic up their rooms, granma doesnt seem to understand to STOP buying them crap, so when they refuse to clean, i go in with a trash bag and they cry but i usually dont get very far before it becomes a race and they re furiously picking up toys. hey there are kids that dont have granmas to spoil them rotten, ya know.

 

[wadek2008]

To answer a few questions. If I needed money for college, my dad would get it for me. As it is, financial aid is taking care of me.
My mom had an affair about 4 years ago. To be fair to my dad, it wasn't like this before she left. Everyone did their part. My dad sat on the porch to spit seeds. I think they've gotten lazy.
My brother is about to go into his senior year and is getting looked at by a lot of colleges for baseball. He's also retaking some classes online this summer. That is his "job." I'd feel like it were more fair if he actually did what he was supposed to instead running up and down the road seeing friends. As it is, I'm helping [read: doing] his coursework for him beacuse he won't pay attention and he isn't working out in the mornings like he's supposed to.
I'm really USUALLY not one for putting up with being walked over like this. My brother's almost without exception extremely rude to me. He can walk in the house and I'll ask him something and he just walks off. If I say something to him-he just mimicks me. I don't know why-I do a lot for him. Dad and Mom don't do anything about it, but really, at that age, what can they do? What can I do.
My Dad really is a good dad. Yes, he's been out of line about the cleaning. He's been stressed out at work and stressed out about Matt's college. That's no excuse for what he does with his stuff though. He wouldn't kick me out if I didn't clean. I think he does feel like it's my job. Yall are right though, its gotten out of control. I think my brother will [eventually] mature. Please, someone, tell me he will?
I think my best course of action is to sit down and tell my brother im not cleaning up his stuff anymore. Toss his stuff in his room and keep tossing. Tell my dad if I find anymore seeds I won't be doing any dishes but my own and to put up his clothes or I wont do anymore of his either. And I won't.

 

[thewarriorchild]

You could always spend your next break here I could use some help and a good example for my daughter!