UGH! Men! Rant

[Iowa Roo Mom]

Oh Girl, I know exactly how you feel- without hijacking your thread, let's just say I've had to do laundry since I could reach the washing machine controls, and cook since I could see over the stove. My mother had alot of health problems and it landed her in the hospital... ALOT. Meanwhile, my midle brother who's 2 years older than me drank, smoked, and wrecked 3 cars- and got 3 new ones.
Sorry... back to the OP. My heart aches for you. I can't give you advice short of asking if your brother has a job- and if not, than you two should split the cleaning. All I can say is I am sorry you're having to deal with this.

I'll be praying for you.

BTW- The brother I am referring to is 27 now, my dad bought him a house that he pays rent for, and he still drops off his laundry for my parents to do- and sometimes they even deliver it back to him when it is clean!

 

[wadek2008]

Quote:
Indeed, I did have something else to do. Remove the pizza box, coke bottle, and meat wrappers from the sink and put the dishes in the dish washer.

Women live like that too? I wonder if their houses are the same?

I'd seriously consider tossing the seeds in his room, but I can imagine the kind of response that would get. I'm sure that would be "disrespectful." (Note the irony.) Tossing things in Matt's room seems to make more work for me. I guess I could keep tossing, but that seems immature.

Imp-Yes, I'm 19 years old-an adult, and I have an apartment I can go back to if I want. This is my home, they are my family. I don't feel them not being able to clean up after themselves warrants me "making my own way." I like to do things for them. They mean a lot to me. I want to spend time with them. I can hold out until the 16th anyway, when school starts again. What's beyond me is the responses I get when I ask them to put up the clothes I've washed, dried and folded, not to spit seeds in the sink so I don't have to clean them up, or to put up the Oreos in front of the tv. It's also the lack of appreciation. If you see someone putting dishes in the dishwasher, isn't it common courtesy to place your own in the dishwasher? I'm not going to go running back to school because things aren't going my way. No one is forcing me to do what I do. I don't feel like a slave-I feel like I'm not being respected and am being taken advantage of. I'm trying to help my dad out.

I am home almost all day. There's no reason I shouldn't run the dishwasher, take out the trash and do the clothes. I get that-and I really don't mind doing it. I shouldn't be having to wash the same clothes twice, removing pizza boxes from the sink and throwing thrash away from in front of the tv. I guess it just seems easier to do it. I feel like I did a good job instead of a halfway one if I leave stuff-and then it never gets put up. Plus, I don't get fussed at.
I just don't know what to do to get my point across. Maybe I'll set their stuff in their room and if it gets tossed back where it was, tell them its going to the dump-including the dishes. If it's not up with 24 hours-it goes to the dump. I'm not sure if I feel right throwing away dishes and good clothes and things though. I could maybe hide them in the basement and still get the same effect.
To be honest, my brother and I are about to go with our mom to the beach for two days. I'm kind of scared to see what it looks like when I get back. I'll have Matt's stuff from the beach to wash and whatever's Dad's done with the kitchen and his clothes. I'm also not going to be around tomorrow. I think that'll make a perfect opportunity to try it out when I get back.

 

[wadek2008]

Quote:
Does your brother know how to do laundry?
Thanks for the prayers, it's just getting frustrating.
No, Matt doesn't have a job. But when I bring that up I get the following:
"We're not talking about Matt right now, we're talking about you."

 

[kuntrygirl]

Quote:
That's exactly what I did when I had someone living with me. I dumped EVERYTHING in their room. The rest of my house was spotless. I kept their door closed.

 

[Mrs. Glassman]

Oh wow, wadek2008. I really feel for you.

I know how it is feeling like a guest in your own home. Feeling like you have to do whatever to earn your keep/place in the house.

When I was a teen, there were certain things I had to do "Just So" to earn the right to breathe....They didn't change even after I moved out & had to crawl back home.

Things will not change as long as you accept the way they are. Your post is the first outcry...your reach for reason. We are with you, this is not right.

I used to be the GoodWife, who washed & folded my family's clothes...Until I found them in the laundry basket, still folded, to be washed again....rather than the children putting them away.

Now I only wash MY clothes. If I didn't get them dirty, then I don't clean them.

I know this doesn't help you because you FEEL like it's your job to pick up after them for your "rent" on staying there with YOUR family.

Sweetie, it's not. They are treating you like a servant. Servants get PAID these days. The work you do is worth more than the roof over your head. Go back to school. Stay there. Or get a job & get a place of your own. Or at least do like DH does now---thoroughly screw up any task that is given to you, and you won't have to do it again.

Bleach the crap out of their clothes...if for no other reason, just to put a smile on your face for years to come....I really wish I could help you.

 

[hollymh]

Ew. I had a roommate like this once, his butt was kicked to the curb until his parents(who are amazing) had a little talk with him and we setteled things, never had a problem again. It was just about as awful as your problem too, I worked as a vet tech from 6a-7p and then came home to a trash-pit house. Well good luck, if I were you I would go on strike!

 

[soonerdog]

I understand that you are wanting to help your dad. Perhaps, while you're staying during the summer you should help. But it sounds like you're doing too much and that they are taking advantage of your kindness.
Unfortunately, I don't think you'll be able to "teach" these two grown men anything! I don't even think reasoning with them is possible! By now, at their age, they are both what they are.......SLOBS!
I bet you'll be glad to get back home and start college soon! I hope you walk away from this experience with a greater determination to use your college education to help prepare yourself for a wonderful future. Your future, where having a career and family provides you with people who do help and respect you!

 

[ging3rhoffman]

I would stop all together with the picking up after your brothers. If your dad is paying the bills and taking care of you then i would do his laundry and take care of him. I would NOT touch my brothers garbage or laundry!!
You Dad can either understand or kick you out...his choice.

Its sad that your brothers are so ruined. No woman in her right mind will stay with them. Their future of having a stable relationship with a woman is bleak.

Tell your dad how you feel. Post a sign on your brothers bedroom doors and let them know that they will be picking up after themselves and doing their own laundry and dishes from here on out..you refuse to be used.

With that said...go take a long hot bubble bath and then start writing a letter to your dad or prepare what you are going to say to him. Good Luck

 

[jafo]

Call Dr. Phil!

He's always looking for this kinda dysfunctional deal,,,,,,,,

 

[joebryant]

You're obviously a very intelligent and mature young lady. In defense of your brother and dad, I just want to say No I don't. Okay let me put it like this; in spite of their being BIG jobs, I do put my dirty clothes in the hamper (My wife won't pick them up off the floor; otherwise, I'd...) and rinse my dishes before putting them in the sink (... otherwise, my wife nags me.). There's a place in Heaven for saints like me. Oh, by the way, my daughter says that I'm spoiled.