Urrrgggg........... Honestly, I hope things get better!!

[redhen]

Suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Once you do it..there is never any coming back..
Remember that..its not a game.
It has always amazed me that some people actually want to die..
I'm scared to death of dying..I want to live forever. *sigh*
Things will get better in your life..it always does..

 

[RHRanch]

All I can tell you is that whatever you are going through right now, is temporary and it will get better. The older you get the more control you will have over your situation and then you can move on and have the life you want. If you feel very depressed, call your county services or talk to a school counselor right away, you can get help to feel better. Don't be afraid to reach out like you have to all of us.

 

[CochinBrahmaLover]

Thanks guys

y'all have been really helpful.


ChickerDoodle ~ Counslor? No.....

I like here better, its more private on my part, which is better for me

And nom, she is not. No one is, and I know I will never go through (Death scares me too death... ) But I hate the thoughts... I hate not being able to control them sometimes..

RedHen ~ Yes, I know that. Me posting this was so I could let out some old feelings, and I'm with you on the agreement on death. I know its temporary, but I'm just coping with it best I can. Hearing y'alls thoughts was very nice and helpful

\
RHR ~ Thanks for PMing me, but I don't think I'll be using it. I like BYC, you guys are more helpful, and tho I will never use it, so tjerefore i wont know, But, thanks for the gesture

 

[furbabymum]

Well suppressing emotion is a hugely bad thing. I should know I've been doing it for years. You have no idea what you are doing to your poor body. I had no idea until the day it all imploded. The stomach ulcer, gastric reflux, cancer scare. You MUST seek out professional help for your sake. It's incredibly unhealthy. I've been seeing a shrink for over 2 years. I have really struggled because feeling nothing is a hell of a lot nicer than feeling things. It's really a very negative and hard to break habit. Working on it has really shown me who I am and who I don't want to be. I hope you have the courage to tell your mom you need to see a counselor. I hope she has the sense to help you get counseling. Stick with it. It will seem like you are making progress and then you'll regress and it can be really discouraging. I'd also advise that you switch to a different counselor if you aren't feeling challenged. Sometimes I hate my counselor but without him I'd still be taking copious amounts of medication to try to counteract the side effects of my emotional supression.

 

[CochinBrahmaLover]

Nice to hear some advice from someone whose been there done that. I know I can cause ulcers, which is why I posted this, it has realy relieved me. I really should tell her, but I can't. Which kinda sucks cause I know she would be understanding, she has a friend who is pretty much a clone of me. I'll see what I can do, our school doesn't Have a counsleor as far as I know, but my sister went to a shrink once so I think thats what would happen

 

[furbabymum]

It causes different problems to different people depending on where you store your emotion. I tend to store mine in my abdomen so that is where most of my problems are. I've really been doing well in counseling lately and I tell you it kinda sucks. All that stored emotion is coming out and I'm crying about EVERYTHING. Don't even look at me because I'll cry. Sucks royally as I've NEVER been a crier. It's SOOOOOOOOOOO Nice though, to get it out. You can't even imagine how great it feels to cry about something and feel normal. That was the worst part of supression. I don't know if you are at that point yet but I was SOOO good at it that I did it without thought. Family was dying around me, friends were going through horrible things. I was physically present but emotionally vacant. It wasn't normal. It wasn't healthy. It wasn't something I was conciously even doing. So, I hope you find a great therapist/counselor/shrink/whatever you want to call them. I'd also suggest you get family counseling as it sounds like you could use it.

Get brave and tell your mom. You have to.

 

[CochinBrahmaLover]

Never thought of it, depending where you store it. I know what you mean, crying feels sooo good, but I never do cry. I'm glad you got help, and I'll try the same.