Utah!

[Cynthia12]

***SOAP BOX ALERT--THIS IS A DOOZY**** (sorry all, I love this girl and my typing can't keep up with all I have to say here!)

Oh Red! Cynthia is so right! You are the bestest sweetest soul. You don't deserve the mess you have to deal with, with the BF and his ex. Too much drama.

1. There are lots of fish in the sea. I know you don't like to think about that, but if things DON'T work out with your BF, there might be a much much better situation out there just waiting for you to walk in and grab it. It is OK to walk away from something that is not good for you if you have to. Thinking that if this situation does not work out that there is NOTHING out there for you is unrealistic. I was married before, heartbreaking heart wrenching breakup, I felt JUST like you do now. I found a few loves afterward, then married my soul mate, and I tell you from experience, moving on is so hard but WOW does it get better when you finally move forward. You have a huge life to live and this BF may or may not be a part of it, but you have to think in terms of down the road, think for example of how different things are for you now than they were ten years ago. Ten years from now, you could be in a total different situation, married to someone else with 2 kids. OR with this guy, leaving the ex in the dust, and with 40 chickens. Or 10 dogs. Who knows! Wherever you land and decide to be, in ten years, or 5, things will look totally different to you and you will look back on this and be soooooo glad you stuck around to enjoy the good stuff.

2. That is the point..Good stuff always follows bad stuff. Always. It never stays bad forever! You just have to get through the bumps.

3. You are in charge of your own destiny. Bad things happen, speed bumps, jobs, boyfriends, even family members may come and go. But your destiny really is what you make of it. Right now you are making the decision to stick by your BF's side. That decision is very noble. And it may seem like the only decision. But that desicion is yours to make, and if you need to get out of that situation you can't feel like a bad person. You HAVE to consider your mental and physical health. There is a limit to what we each can take...if you are at that limit, and are forced to make a decision that gets you into a better place, that does NOT make you bad in anyway. That makes you smart. You have to follow your heart AND your head...sometimes they both drag you in different directions, but you can't feel guilty for any choice you make that will result in creating a better destiny for yourself. This reminds me of an addict family member...you help and help and help and it is exhausting, then if you walk away you feel like you are abandoning them. You can only "save" someone if they want to be saved. The problem is their problem....it is not healthy to make it your problem too, you have your own to deal with, and would not expect someone else to save or fix you, so you can't expect yourself to do that for others if it becomes clear they can't be saved (does that make sense?)

4. Love yourself no matter what. You Red, as we all are, very worthy of love. Sheesh, you deserve the very best....don't ever think otherwise. You are amazing in more ways than I can list here, and I don't know you nearly as well as your family or close friends...you need to try and stay positive, and do positive things right now...maybe take a little class to learn something new, or get up early and watch the sun rise coming over the mountains, and think of how beautiful the world we live in is....something positive...buy a little bag of Halloween candy and give treats to a few neighbor kids..something that will make you feel good inside. That always helps me when I am in a dark place. (turn the light on, my grandma used to say

)

5. Keep talking to people. The fact that you got on here and asked for us to help you is AMAZINGLY smart, that is a good idea, and you need to let people around you help you right now! Feel our love~! The more you talk about it the more positive input you will receive, and that is sooo important when you are feeling blue. I have a son who is bipolar, has been insititutionalized previously and suffers from debilitating depression. I have spent so much time helping him and talking to doctors, and the one thing that I see that always helps him improve is when he opens up and talks....when he clams up is when we start to have really bad problems. Keep talking! (Like Dory the Fish...just keep swimming!)

Feel the hug, it is headed your way. If you ever start feeling scared or worried about your feelings, get yourself around people that love you. Here is a good place! Don't stay by yourself. You can come visit me, stay with me, anytime! Cynthia is close...so many people that would love to see your cute face for a visit and a big hug. I feel like I have learned so much from your friendship..even driving with you home from chickenstock you taught me so much when we were talking about animals and them being food, and how it would be disrespectful to waste any part of them if they gave their life to feed us, I can't tell you how many times I have thought about that conversation. I swear, when we eat any animal product at my house I have been so much more consciencious and less wasteful, it really burned into my brain some of the things that you were saying. You have so many other missions in life to teach people, people need you to learn from you, your kindness and your wisdom...you have waaaaay tons t share with people. So you need to be happy, stick around for a very long time, and get yourself lined up where you think the best place is for yourself.

 

[RedIII]

You come over here or call me right now lady. Wee need to talk. Your emotions are getting you down too far. I hope I can talk to you A YOU REALLY NEED SOMEONE AND i AM CLOSE.

Yes ma'am.

 

[Sphinx]

Cynthia, I'm so sorry that Austin is so sick. I hope they can find the right cocktail of antibiotics so he gets over the bronchitis.

Red, I think it's wretched that you've been in such an untenable position for so long. I have no idea how you've managed to hang on. I know you feel like you've been brought into BF's life for a reason, and I don't doubt that you've done a lot of good in his life, and have learned a lot. I think you need to have a heart to heart with God and see where HE feels you should go now. Remember that man is that he might have joy. God would never want you to feel this miserable for this long. It could be that part of the learning process is for you to look at your life, and decide what needs to be done to bring yourself back to a state of joy. For the record, I'm not saying you should abandon him, I'm just saying you need to look at what YOU need to do to feel like you aren't drowning anymore. And for the record, nobody is perfect. Nobody. Don't hold yourself to an impossible standard. You can come visit me too.

 

[La Casa de Pollo]

Good advise Sphinx

Red, it just boils down to that we love you and want happiness for you You are special and should be treated as such by a person as amazing as yourself!

Glad you are feeling a little better, and your girls are leaving you little feather gifts to lift your spirits!

Cynthia, lots of love coming Austin's way too He is such a bright light in your life, I hope he gets feeling better soon and you won't worry too much!

 

[La Casa de Pollo]

Hey Red--my son was asking who I was writing to, and I told him 'my friend Red', and he remembers and likes you alot... (he says that you like cheese like he does lol) and he said if you are feeling sad to eat some cheese

 

[themadchicken]

Red, I think its time you took control of this relationship. He has dragged it out to long! Turn and walk away. If he really loves you and wants to be with you then let him chase you. If he doesn't chase after you then oh well it his loss. This guy seems like he don't really know what he wants, but you seem to know exactly what you want. So go do what you want! I'm sure you have always had a dream, now is the time to do it. Your life and happiness has been on hold to long. Its time to push the play button Red.

 

[RedIII]

All

Thank you so much.

Madchicken, it actually isn't him that is holding things up. It's the (near) ex wife. She has dragged things out purely out of spite and vindictiveness. It has been so hard NOT to move forward with things with my BF. That's part of what's been killing me for the longest while. Not being able to progress with him makes my heart sick. He's doing everything he can to get things done. He's a good man that I love very much and want to be happy.

She's going to lynch me for this, but I'll take my chances - please also keep Desert Springs in your thoughts and prayers. When it rains, it pours, it seems. I won't say more. We all struggle with our own battles.

Love you guys. I mean that.

 

[RedIII]

Hey Red--my son was asking who I was writing to, and I told him 'my friend Red', and he remembers and likes you alot... (he says that you like cheese like he does lol) and he said if you are feeling sad to eat some cheese

Nothin' like some good cheese

 

[homeworkin]

I know I saw someone post on here a few months ago that they were a newly licensed hatchery in Utah. I am looking at some options and while the state vet was helpful - he said I should check with other small hatcheries to find out what they are doing before I apply. The NPIP guidelines are downright silly for small time folks like me. Anyone here a licensed hatchery and willing to give me some ideas of what they are looking at for licensing? I just want to be able to legally sell a few rare breeds (working with Buckeyes, Speckled Sussex, Welsummers, and American Bresse - hoping to add Delawares).

 

[La Casa de Pollo]

I know I saw someone post on here a few months ago that they were a newly licensed hatchery in Utah. I am looking at some options and while the state vet was helpful - he said I should check with other small hatcheries to find out what they are doing before I apply. The NPIP guidelines are downright silly for small time folks like me. Anyone here a licensed hatchery and willing to give me some ideas of what they are looking at for licensing? I just want to be able to legally sell a few rare breeds (working with Buckeyes, Speckled Sussex, Welsummers, and American Bresse - hoping to add Delawares).

That would be Christina--Desert Springs on here. Last I heard she was working on her NPIP, have not seen her here for awhile, but she is on the Idaho thread sometimes though

Daloorashens--if you are around here....remember your olive egger that laid dark brown eggs? So I got the sibling, and we have been waiting to find out if she would lay olive or not? She laid a nice pale bluish green egg this morning. They could get darker still, it WAS a first teeny egg, but I had to laugh because we were wondering between dark brown and olive, and she had a whole different plan! She has turned out soooo pretty though, love her. Nice medium blue plumage with one single tiny black feather on one wing. Very fluffy