Was I wrong? Parenting Question

LegginMF12

Songster
12 Years
May 2, 2011
708
26
241
Yucca Valley
Today I made my 10 yr old stepson take a freezing cold shower. Sounds mean right?
Well here is why. Said child daily goes into the bathroom turns on the shower and instead of waiting the minute it takes for the water to get hot, he goes to the living room and starts watching cartoons and FORGETS that he turned the water on. He has so far managed to completely empty this 40 gallon water heater on 6 different occasions. He has been grounded for it (usually one day in room after school) Lost t.v. and video game privileges (the first time for 2 days the 2nd time for a week) and he has lost his allowance for a week. He is not getting the message. So he did it again today and I have places I need to be. I told him tough you need to get in the shower right now, I don't care if there isn't any hot water left, it's not my fault. On the flip side I am going to go and take my own freezing cold shower in about 10 minutes. Was I wrong to do this, he seems pretty upset about it. I did kick the heater on and bumped it up to 78 so it wouldn't be cold when he got out.
 
Well, if that's the only water left after he let the shower run, then that is what he has to shower with.

I can't imagine what your elec bill is with him emptying the hot water tank all the time.
 
I think I would have done the same thing. Mean? Maybe, but is there anyone on this site that didn't think their parent was mean for doling out some punishment? It's a great way to teach cause and effect. Another lesson might be to show him the water bill (if you're metered) and deduct his share for a couple months. Might teach him that things aren't free and waste has penalties. Welcome to the Mean Parent Society (no dues - we figure you've paid them already!).
 
Sounds as if the punishment fits the crime.
thumbsup.gif
 
It's not a punishment, it's the logical consequence of his actions. If an adult and did that (leaving the shower to run until the hot water was gone) and still needed to shower before work, they would have to endure a cold shower.
 
pips&peeps :

Well, if that's the only water left after he let the shower run, then that is what he has to shower with.

I can't imagine what your elec bill is with him emptying the hot water tank all the time.

I wish it was electric, I run propane! Very expensive!​
 
If more parents would teach consequences like that we would have way fewer kids incarcerated. My daughter worked for years at a juvenile facility and the vast majority of those kids had been raised by people who were forever trying to fix the kids' screw-ups rather than make them deal with it. Good for you!
sharon
 
No - of course it is not mean.

My kids are 23, 21 and 17, and they have rarely been punished. I chose to ignore bad behavior and reward good. My oldest 2 are girls, so that makes it much easier.

My kids have learned self-discipline and natural consequences. A cold shower is a natural consequence of draining the water heater.

Girls are delightful, independant, motivated, wanting to please everyone with grades and achievements.

Boys are creatures I do not understand that love all attention - negative or positive - much like labrador retrievers.
 

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