I just came back from a well-deserved 2 week vacation. While away my rooster decided to test my house sitter. Before I left I told the house sitter to do what he had to do in order to care for the birds. I warned him that my roo had been known to be human aggressive and that a quick nudge with your boot usually resolved the issue. Unfortunately, the roo decided that the house sitter was persona non grata and attacked him mercilessly until the sitter had to beat him back with a stick and shield (trash can lid). By the time I came back the roo had pretty much made it impossible for the house sitter to care for the birds at all. This seals the roo's fate- in the spring he will go into the pot.
Sometimes we would like to think we are above losing our tempers and will always treat our animals in the most respectful manner possible, but the reality is that when you have 8 lbs of completely ticked off, leaping, flogging, flapping, screaming creature attacking you, you may not react entirely appropriately. I don't think the OP is intentionally cruel or abusive, and having fellow BYCers saying so is hurtful and not at all helpful to the situation. We all snap sometimes. I can't think of better provocation than being openly attacked by an animal you spend time and money to feed and care for. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you...
So, to the OP- Your roo should make a nice dinner. Nothing tastes better than an animal that has been irritating you for months.
To everyone else- Lighten up. We'd all like to be perfect all the time, but it isn't likely to happen anytime soon. The OP needs our support and commiseration, not jibes and grief.
Good luck.