We Quit Cigarettes

[R2elk]

Let me know, Will ground elf produce a broody hen? And do I cook the elf or feed it raw to my hens?

If it is one of Batty's elves, better cook it well done.

 

[BantyChooks]

Don't tell me the elves can outrun a polar bear?!?!? Can't throw a snowball that far with those little arms.

Oh, are the polar bears getting indigestion from the elves? I'd file a lawsuit too if I got an upset tummy from an elf.

They open the window when one is near, chuck the snowball, close the window, and run.

 

[Sapphire Sebright]

So, Santa... kinda unrelated, but do you like venison?

 

[BantyChooks]

So, Santa... kinda unrelated, but do you like venison?

For legal reasons, I can't answer that.

 

[BantyChooks]

If it is one of Batty's elves, better cook it well done.

Hey! I deworm them now and then. I'm not a neglectful elf-keeper.

 

[RUNuts]

They open the window when one is near, chuck the snowball, close the window, and run.

You told me you nailed the windows shut to keep them from dodging work. I'd expect the polar bears to come through the windows. No matter how tiny they were to start with.

Ah, the trials of elf keeping. I'll stop with humans. Messy little buggers.

 

[BantyChooks]

You told me you nailed the windows shut to keep them from dodging work. I'd expect the polar bears to come through the windows. No matter how tiny they were to start with.

Ah, the trials of elf keeping. I'll stop with humans. Messy little buggers.

What, like I'm going to set up shop in the North Pole without making my windows polar bear resistant? No sir.

 

[RUNuts]

What, like I'm going to set up shop in the North Pole without making my windows polar bear resistant? No sir.

AH HA! So you admit "resistant"! Didn't want to spring for the "polar bear proof". Worlds of difference there. Like the old saying, a 500 pound gorilla sleeps anywhere he wants. A 450 pound gorilla, however, has limitations. Gotta watch your bananas though.

Are the elves focusing on the smaller polar bears?

I can see you popping a polar bear and sledding away on a penguin. Are you sure the lawsuits are against the elves? Please speak into the microphone.

 

[BantyChooks]

AH HA! So you admit "resistant"! Didn't want to spring for the "polar bear proof". Worlds of difference there. Like the old saying, a 500 pound gorilla sleeps anywhere he wants. A 450 pound gorilla, however, has limitations. Gotta watch your bananas though.

Are the elves focusing on the smaller polar bears?

I can see you popping a polar bear and sledding away on a penguin. Are you sure the lawsuits are against the elves? Please speak into the microphone.

"Proof" would be false advertising, as there is always a chance a polar bear with a glass cutter could walk by.

As Santa, I am legally exempt from any and all lawsuits I may incur in my line of business. That's all my lawyer will let me say.

 

[Kiki]

@Kiki have you told the fam yet?

I asked the Mex the other day if he knew how long it had been, knowing good and well he had no clue.

Neither of us would believe it has been a month already.

We both work in the "essential businesses" so we've been swamped these past few weeks.
I can't keep up with anything these days.