We Quit Cigarettes

[Sapphire Sebright]

I had no idea that Santa dealt with such... interesting problems in his workshop.
I've had venison... it's quite delicious. I would think that eating an older reindeer, one that isn't working to reproduce or pull the sled, would be perfectly fine. No shame in admitting eating the useless culls of your herd, after all....
In the meantime, can I get 10 vanilla beans, a gallon of heavy cream, five pounds of unflavored whey protein powder, five pounds of almond flour, two Ayam Cemanis, one peacock, and one peahen for Christmas? Pretty please?
By the way, where I live, Christmas is this Saturday (kidding).

 

[R2elk]

In the meantime, can I get 10 vanilla beans, a gallon of heavy cream, five pounds of unflavored whey protein powder, five pounds of almond flour, two Ayam Cemanis, one peacock, and one peahen for Christmas? Pretty please?

No.

 

[Kiki]

The answer is one. One snowball. I now have several lawsuits from the polar bears' lawyers sitting on my desk.

Throw them in the trash.

 

[Sapphire Sebright]

No.

I was asking Santa -- I mean, BantyChooks... or are there two Santas? Hmm....

 

[Kiki]

"Proof" would be false advertising, as there is always a chance a polar bear with a glass cutter could walk by.

As Santa, I am legally exempt from any and all lawsuits I may incur in my line of business. That's all my lawyer will let me say.

Is Conan the lawyer?
I think she will let you say more.

 

[R2elk]

I was asking Santa -- I mean, BantyChooks... or are there two Santas? Hmm....

There is the real Santa and then there is the fake Santa.

 

[Kiki]

I was asking Santa -- I mean, BantyChooks... or are there two Santas? Hmm....

Yes.
One real one and one fake.

Maybe 3.

 

[BantyChooks]

I had no idea that Santa dealt with such... interesting problems in his workshop.
I've had venison... it's quite delicious. I would think that eating an older reindeer, one that isn't working to reproduce or pull the sled, would be perfectly fine. No shame in admitting eating the useless culls of your herd, after all....
In the meantime, can I get 10 vanilla beans, a gallon of heavy cream, five pounds of unflavored whey protein powder, five pounds of almond flour, two Ayam Cemanis, one peacock, and one peahen for Christmas? Pretty please?
By the way, where I live, Christmas is this Saturday (kidding).

Hm, tall order. If you leave out some extra chocolate chip cookies for me, then maybe.

I was asking Santa -- I mean, BantyChooks... or are there two Santas? Hmm....

He's the fake Santa. He likes to pretend he's me.

Is Conan the lawyer?
I think she will let you say more.

Heck no. Under no circumstances will I be allowing Conan to represent me in court of law!

 

[Sapphire Sebright]

... So, then, which is which? R2elk said "no" when I asked Santa for those things... so is he the real Santa?
(Not sure that I'd want to sit on his knee).

 

[Kiki]

... So, then, which is which? R2elk said "no" when I asked Santa for those things... so is he the real Santa?
(Not sure that I'd want to sit on his knee).

He doesn't bite.