Welcome to the night shift

[Ursuline Chick]

It is so hard to figure out the right answer. Jim has been gone for more than 8 months, and I feel as if I've only touched the tip of the iceberg when it comes to sorting and redistributing his stuff. And, I don't have to deal with any of his relatives. The stuff is here, it's mine.

I wish I knew the right answer, because I also don't know what to do with all the things he spent a lifetime collecting. There is stuff in the house, garage, garage addition (which was never quite finished as his workshop), barn and on the property. Our friend Michael is still paying for two large storage units packed to the rafters with "Jim stuff."

Like you, I don't know the value; some of it is in mint condition, some is rusted -- maybe restorable, maybe not. Because he had so many diverse interests, I don't even know what some of the stuff is -- woodworking tools? leather working tools? metal working tools? construction tools? Jewelry making tools?

I let his books go for much less than they were worth because Michael and two other friends packed them up and took them to a specialty book seller we know. It was easier than me trying to find a market for them and selling hundreds of books individually. Plus, I knew his books would go to a niche group of folks who would really appreciate them.

I keep saying I don't want to profit from Jim's death, and that's true. But, I don't want to give away everything he spent a lifetime acquiring. That makes me feel like I'm saying none of it mattered; it did -- because it mattered to him.

In fact, I thought I had given away a set of very special knives that he bought in Minnesota; each knife has a fancy blade cover and he got them from an orchard that was going out of business. The covers have little apple cutouts. I literally cried when I discovered that I had simply moved the entire set out of its drawer and relocated it into the kitchen island.

Some things that remind me of Jim are too painful to keep, and others are too painful to let go.

Michael and I thought we had found someone to help set up a sale of the storage stuff, but when the guy came, he said that because of the amount of stuff, thrown every which way into the units, and the condition of many of the tools, especially, it would be cost prohibitive for him to set up one of his usual auctions.

So, while your circumstance is much more complex than mine, I do understand your struggle to figure it out. And, I know why it keeps you up at night.

@Callender Girl I was just re-reading this. Just an idea: would it be possible to break this down into smaller jobs? I, personally would decide what I really wanted to keep, then I would look at multiple things of the same ilk that your Jim had, the rusted or broken beyond repair perhaps you can sell for scrap, somethings perhaps Jim's friends and people close to him would like something of his to remember him by. Especially if they will also find them useful. Are there clubs or groups of people who try to help others who could use some of his things. I would honor Jim and his hobbies that way if I could. And of course there will be some things you may have to sell or give to Good Will or someplace like that, remember to get a receipt for those things, as you may be able to use them as a tax deduction.

 

[Rhodie Ranch]

Hello All. I jumped onto this thread due to the sleeping issues discussed.

My problem has been going on for over 10 years now. I wake up between 2:25 and 2:40 a.m., no matter what time I've gone to bed. About 8 years ago, I learned to take a swig of OTC night time generic Nyquil. That sometimes helps, but not always. My mind wakes up, not drowsey but wide awake and alert and ready to review all the things going on in my world. DRIVES ME NUTS!!

I dream every night. And I remember most of them - long complicated, with present and past friends and family. Very weird.

At 65+, and almost 20 years of meno symptoms, I still wake up too warm. A sheet is fine and then about 4 a.m., I can pull up a blanket.

 

[Callender Girl]

Thanks, @Ursiline Chick, for your suggestions; all are good, and I appreciate them. Some, I am already doing -- or at least thinking about.

I am using funds from selling some of Jim's stuff to pay for a memorial service to honor him this summer. Jim introduced me to historic re-enacting, and at a big rendezvous event on the North Shore of Lake Superior, his fellow re-enactors from all over the Midwest will get a chance to say goodbye. In a Native American tradition, we are going to have a feast and a giveaway of some of his possessions.


@Rhodie Ranch, I'm sorry about your interrupted sleep. I can count on one hand the number of times I've slept through an entire night in years. Retirement did not improve the quality of my sleep, as I had hoped.

I know I dream, but they fall out of my head almost as soon as I wake up. Last night was an exception; I was back at work -- that alone would make it a nightmare.

I've read that even a small amount of light can affect the quality of sleep. Despite covering my eyes with a thick wash cloth (the elastic on sleep masks annoys me), I still don't stay asleep. Although, I think limiting the light has helped a bit.

My sister, who believes in many "mystical" things, says that when you awake in those wee hours regularly, it means someone on the other side is trying to tell you something. If that's the case, I would rather be told AFTER 5 a.m.

 

[Ursuline Chick]

What period of re-enacting did y'all do? We did that pre-hurricane Katrina (we lost all of our equipment in the flood). It was great fun, I bet it will bring back fond memories to see everyone.

 

[saysfaa]

Hello All. I jumped onto this thread due to the sleeping issues discussed.

My problem has been going on for over 10 years now. I wake up between 2:25 and 2:40 a.m., no matter what time I've gone to bed...

Welcome.

For me it was 2:00. Occasionally other times but they were different in that I could get back to sleep sometimes then. It is more varied now for me. Tonight, I think I will be going back to sleep.

Has anyone tried audio books for the purpose of getting back to sleep?

 

[Callender Girl]

I've never tried audio books to get back to sleep; I usually listen to MLB Network because -- as we've discussed before -- I will ALWAYS fall asleep when I want to know how a show (or game) ends.

Some years ago, the VA got Jim a pillow that can be programmed to play various "white" sounds -- rainfall, crickets chirping, birds singing, a babbling brook. I bought myself a cheaper version, and it sometimes works for me.

Regarding re-enacting, @Ursuline Chick, I'm sorry you had to go through the hurricane and lost all your equipment That stuff is pricey! Were you doing Civil War stuff? We dipped into that very lightly.

We mostly did the Fur Trade era -- at the site I mentioned earlier, every day is circa 1816. There is a film that shows in the Visitor Center about the founding of Grand Portage; Jim portrays the clerk at the trading post who does business with some of the Anishinaabe.

We also did the mid-1800s; there is a replica 1850's military fort in the town where we lived and where Jim had been the director. Which means needing almost two complete sets of clothing, of course.

When I met him -- and before I even knew what re-enacting was -- Jim warned me that he likely had more clothes than I did. He was so right! It will be nice to see everybody again, but bittersweet because we'll be talking about him, not with him.

 

[janiedoe]

I've put this thread on my watch list. I'm looking forward to reading through it, and seeing what y'all are dreaming of. Lately, my own dreams leave me mildly depressed.
My #2 boxer has just stopped snoring, my #1 boxer (9 years old) has just come in from her latest trip outside. My husband is asleep on the sofa with the TV turned up. It's 4:45 A.M. and I'm finally ready to sleep for a couple of hours

 

[Ursuline Chick]

I've never tried audio books to get back to sleep; I usually listen to MLB Network because -- as we've discussed before -- I will ALWAYS fall asleep when I want to know how a show (or game) ends.

Some years ago, the VA got Jim a pillow that can be programmed to play various "white" sounds -- rainfall, crickets chirping, birds singing, a babbling brook. I bought myself a cheaper version, and it sometimes works for me.

Regarding re-enacting, @Ursuline Chick, I'm sorry you had to go through the hurricane and lost all your equipment That stuff is pricey! Were you doing Civil War stuff? We dipped into that very lightly.

We mostly did the Fur Trade era -- at the site I mentioned earlier, every day is circa 1816. There is a film that shows in the Visitor Center about the founding of Grand Portage; Jim portrays the clerk at the trading post who does business with some of the Anishinaabe.

We also did the mid-1800s; there is a replica 1850's military fort in the town where we lived and where Jim had been the director. Which means needing almost two complete sets of clothing, of course.

When I met him -- and before I even knew what re-enacting was -- Jim warned me that he likely had more clothes than I did. He was so right! It will be nice to see everybody again, but bittersweet because we'll be talking about him, not with him.

We did Battle of New Orleans 1815. (War of 1812) and some same time Frame battles in Alabama. We had a lot of fun. My husband made most of our clothes, except I did button holes by hand. We may even know some of the same people. I knew people who went around the United States doing this. DH was the American Surgen and I was his wife/nurse. I would cook rabbits and deer legs over an open fire. We had loaves of fresh home made bread, cheese and red wine with the labels soaked off. Friday nights were a candle light tour and lots of people would be at our tent. Eating, drinking, playing checkers or cards and smoking pipes. I really enjoyed it.
I hope you have a wonderful time getting together with everyone and that it is cathartic to be able to talk about Jim and the good times.

 

[Callender Girl]

A very good friend of ours was the director of the Villa Louis in Prairie du Chien, WI. We always attended the War of 1812 battle re-enactment there. We MAY know some folks in common. Your post reminds me of some very good times around camp fires. Thank you.

Also, thanks to you, I Googled to learn about the Ursulines.

 

[Ursuline Chick]

Did you know Steve Abolt and his wife?
Or Tim Pickles, he was British?