Well... I guess this is goodbye. [long rant]

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13 Years
Sep 8, 2007
San Rafael, California
I'm pretty upset about this whole situation, but I'll try to make this make as much sense as possible.

As many of you know, myself and my 'friend' share our chickens. They are kept at her house because she has a farm and a whole set up for them and I can't have chooks where I live. Well, what I feared would happen during the slow show season did, and she lost interest in the hobby. She stopped coming on here, started mentioning that we should sell the chickens, avoided me coming over to her house like I had the bloody plague or something, undoubtedly because she didn't want to see me face to face, because she knows how much my chooks mean to me.

Let me just tell you, they mean the world to me. My life has been a living hell lately. My christian family found out I'm gay and have pushed me away, I don't even speak while I'm at my house. I've been working nonstop trying to save up money so I can get out of my house, which has left me physically and emotionally drained. I haven't had a healthy dose of chickens for about two months because my friend makes up stupid excuses for why I can't come over, and most of my friends are back to school far away and leaving me very much alone. My chickens were the only thing I had to look forward to, seriously. I looked forward to seeing my newest group grow up, taking them to shows, winning, and playing with my lap dog of a hen, Girly. They were my little ray of sunshine.

The last couple of days a hawk killed several of our best hens, and now my friend is set on selling every single chicken as soon as possible. Even though we could keep our favorite four and put them in the smaller coop which is predator proof, which you could probably put 10 chickens in if you wanted to. But no, she says "they're used to freedom, it wont be fair". So put them in the big horse stall, I say. "No, they might get mites like last time". If we cleaned the stall more often they wouldn't. So she's set on selling all of them.

You may think it's fair for her to do this since they're on her land, but the only thing she's been complaining about is that they cost her too much money. She doesn't spend one dime on those chickens. Her mother pays for the food, and I pay for the REST. I've spent probably close to $500 in the past year alone buying chickens, buying eggs, buying coops, paying for the entry fees for shows, paying for GAS most of all driving too and from shows and picking up chickens all the time. Considering all my friend has to do is throw some food in their coops while she's out there feeding the goats anyway, and making sure they have water, I sure can't feel all that sorry for her. When she wanted to go into a new breed that I didn't like too much, I agreed, because I wanted her to stay interested in the hobby. But it was all in vain now, another $100 gone down the drain before we even had the chance to show them.

I'm sorry for telling you all about this stupid drama, but no one else gives a flying flip and I'm about to lose the only good thing I have going for me in my life right now. Coming on here just makes it worst, I love answering questions and looking at pictures of everyone's birds, but it makes my own heartache stronger... I don't know what to do.

(edited by staff)


12 Years
Jan 4, 2008
Central MA
My condolences to you
you must feel like the whole world is the living H-E-doublehokeystix... as soon as you get your own house buy coops and get more chickens! do whatever you can to save a pair of chickens...


11 Years
Apr 22, 2008
west Michigan
Don't know what else to say except that I'm so sorry. I know that you must have been giving this lots of thought, so saying be sure and think this over carefully probably won't men much. I do hope that whatever happens in the next days will get better for you. some things are not going to change, but maybe you will be able to see past those things.


11 Years
Apr 16, 2008
Southern Iowa
GRRRR!!! :mad:

Maybe you can get a little eggloo type deal and have some urban hens. Hopefully it works out for you-- don't give up on the birds. Maybe the showing part will be tricky for now, but keeping a couple around would be nice.


Flock Mistress
11 Years
Jun 14, 2008
N. IL.
If she is doing nothing but complaining and has lost interest, do not fault her. It is how it is.

Since it is an endevor she no longer desires to participate in maybe it is time, it has become your responsibility to free her of the burden and ask if you are able to board your chickens there. Making you responsible for feed and any other cost. If you tell her, you would like them free ranged, and by chance they are taken by predator, it is what it is and she should not feel guilty in any way.

If you need her to feed them and lock them up at night....ask if she would continue to do this as a friend? If not, ask her what you might expect for a boarding fee.

If it is too much for you to handle financially, maybe it is time you find another farm that would be willing to board them.

Understand, it seems you are being senitive right now, maybe overly sensitive under the circumstances. Take a step back, take a deep breath, and reflect on it all. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment. If she's lost interest...she's lost interest. If you value your friendship than you will communicate with her in love.



Premium Feather Member
12 Years
Sep 25, 2007
I agree with Bawk....I'd also like to throw in that if she's going to sell the chickens, you may as well get on board and try to find good homes for them, if you really do care about them, which it sure as heck sounds like you do!!! It's always difficult with endeavors such as this or ANY hobby, to do it with another person. You need to keep reminding yourself that it's a situation that there is not much you can do about, since they are on her property. And hang in there - don't leave us, though, okay? It'll be hard to see everyone else getting chickens, hatching eggs, building coops, etc. - but, it'll also keep the love of chickens alive for you, and urge you to work as hard as you can to save $ for your own place that's either chicken ready, or can be made so. HANG IN THERE! I love the heck out of my birds, but there's a lot more to life than just chickens, my friend! Go live it!

White Elk

In the Brooder
11 Years
Jun 19, 2008
Pacific Northwest USA
I'm sorry to hear of your pain Kanchii. I'm also going through something tough right now. Things always get better after the storm.

Perhaps you could gift some of your birds to a local petting zoo? Then you can get away from home and visit them from time to time? My family had two Polish Chickens which turned out to be roosters. They crowed alllll day long. We had to find new homes for them. So we gifted them to a local petting zoo and can visit them whenever we like. Or maybee you can put an add out on Craigs List etc and find a good foster home which will let you visit?

I wish you well Madison, good luck with your chickens and your people!


12 Years
Jun 4, 2007
Central Arkansas

I'm sorry you are going through the stuff with your family and then this with your friend. All I can offer is

Maybe when you get out on your own you can get your own birds.

don't leave us. Keep us posted.



Frugal Fan Club President
12 Years
Jan 20, 2008
I'm sorry, how horrible. Is it at all possible to get a small urban coop? If not, the boarding idea seems best . . . no different from people who have to board horses, really. If your friend won't do it, I'm sure you could find someone who would if you searched.
I'm also terribly sad to see how your family reacted to you being gay. My family is composed of a large number of homosexuals, each one having their own stories of coming out, and the terror and isolation. Several of them acted extremely homophobic growing up in order to try and fit in, and one of them felt she couldn't come out until she was in her 50s, when her parents finally died. My grandparents took 20 years to allow their son to bring his partner over to introduce to the family, but now they have completely revised their opinions, are rabidly against homophobia, and my grandmother, who teaches CCD, refuses to teach the part about homosexuality being a sin and has to leave the classroom so a nun can fill in for that part. She was raised very strictly in Catholicism, so it is a triumph that she has come to understand that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality. There is hope . . . it may take time and stretch your patience to the breaking point, but there's always hope your family will eventually be more understanding, if not completely accepting. I hope this is so in your case.
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