Well,, Steven hit his terrible two's finally, and his teen angst,,

[WriterofWords]

Quote:
This CHILD has not yet graduated from high school.

Perhaps mom has given him too much support, but until he is completely self-sufficient, paying ALL his own expenses and living independently, he should be following mom's rules in her house. And even after he is on his own, she deserves his respect, not regurgitated complaints from a delinquent "friend" who doesn't like the rules.

Thank you so much!!

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

People warn you about the rebellion during the terrible twos and the onset of adolescence; they don't tell you about the rebellion that occurs about the time of high school graduation (usually starting a few months before to just after graduation). It's all the same thing.

 

[LilRalphieRoosmama]

Wow can I relate and I'm sorry you have to go through this. I'm a single mom too and I think I overcompensated for alot of things in their past and babied them too much. DS went to live with his dad a few years ago (he's 16 now) and DD stayed with me (she's 20). She never gave me a bit of trouble, other than being mouthy until this past summer. She shoplifted and got caught. I made her pay the fines herself but she owed about $150 that she didn't have. I paid it for her but told her it was a loan and I expected payment, even if it was $20/week. She was/is totally unmotivated, works only part time, quit college without even telling me and her mouth was out of control. After she threatened to do bodily harm to my birds, I evicted her a few months ago and she never repaid a penny. I was hoping it would make her really think, grow up and learn some responsibility but it backfired. She moved in with her dad and nothing has changed. I should also mention that her friend has alot to do with this; she listens to her but not to me.

All I can tell you is to hang in there - we raised them right and gave them the tools and skills they need to make the right decisions. It's up to them whether to use them.

 

[WriterofWords]

I've been so lucky with him for so long I guess it's just really come as a shock to have him fall to peer pressure so suddenly.

 

[Robin'sBrood]

Quote:
This CHILD has not yet graduated from high school.

Perhaps mom has given him too much support, but until he is completely self-sufficient, paying ALL his own expenses and living independently, he should be following mom's rules in her house. And even after he is on his own, she deserves his respect, not regurgitated complaints from a delinquent "friend" who doesn't like the rules.

 

[LilRalphieRoosmama]

Me too - alot of things came out of nowhere. DD was never in ANY trouble - ever. No drugs, alcohol, boys - nothing. Her friend is absolutely no good for her - lazier and more unmotivated than DD and it rubbed off. Her mom pays for everything - even bought her a car and doesn't care where she goes or what she does. Just forks over the credit card. I can't get DD to understand that working and doing for yourself is important when she sees the easy life of mooching.

 

[Robin'sBrood]

Quote:
Peer pressure is mighty powerful. Why can't they all find peers who pressure them to be studious and successful, instead of the opposite?

 

[redhen]

Robin'sBrood :

Quote:
Peer pressure is mighty powerful. Why can't they all find peers who pressure them to be studious and successful, instead of the opposite?

because thats no fun...

 

[LilBizzy]

Oh, I am sorry he is behaving this way. I can understand how you are feeling- I could tell you stories of my daughter ( but not out loud ). Before you pull your hair out, remember this- you have given him all the tools he needs to make the right decisions. He knows right from wrong, and good and bad. He has it in him to make the right choices. That doesn't mean he will.
It's parent vs peers right now. And peers seem to be winning. You will always be his mother. You will always be concerned. And in a lot of cases, you will always want to be " the mommy". The only thing you can do is remind him how proud you are of the man he has become, and how hard he has worked to get what he wants. You can tell him that you are concerned all his hard work and determination will be lost. But then you have to let him make the choices, good or bad.

 

[WriterofWords]

Quote:
Peer pressure is mighty powerful. Why can't they all find peers who pressure them to be studious and successful, instead of the opposite?

because thats no fun...

LOL you got that right!!