/ Register

What do you do with an unmotivated 18 year old?

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by arabianequine, Mar 14, 2011.

Most Liked Posts
Page 1 of 9
  1. Mar 14, 2011 Post #1 of 85
    arabianequine

    arabianequine Crowing

    4,174
    12
    251
    Apr 4, 2010
    I really want to just give up.
     
  2. Mar 14, 2011 Post #2 of 85
    Whispering Winds

    Whispering Winds Songster

    3,798
    8
    218
    Jan 14, 2009
    Bond County, Illinois
    Good question. BUT, exactly what do you mean by unmotivated?
     
  3. Mar 14, 2011 Post #3 of 85
    Momagain1

    Momagain1 Songster

    1,984
    8
    151
    Feb 13, 2011
    Central IL
    depends on unmotivated; I have an unmotivated 20 yr old...
    she is soon going to be homeless...(not by anything I've done..)...

    it depends on what is going on...what aspect of life you are seeing the lack of motivation...
    more info please!
     
  4. Mar 14, 2011 Post #4 of 85
    jeaucamom

    jeaucamom Songster

    2,211
    9
    214
    Oct 1, 2007
    Ophir, CA
    I made mine go live with her dad.. it brought a lot of peace to my home.
     
  5. Mar 14, 2011 Post #5 of 85
    arabianequine

    arabianequine Crowing

    4,174
    12
    251
    Apr 4, 2010
    He has 3 credits in high school. This last fall I put him in a class to work on getting his ged and skipped today or late an hour and the teacher would not let him come in after that but they tried several times so the teacher called me and told me so I blocked and turned of his cell phone and then a big fight argument....so much more then this though he has adhd, odd, and has had a bit of conduct disorder at times...his step father does not want him hear no more my son is not happy here he gets money from ssi so he could live on his own he has destroyed are bathroom and his room does nothing to help himself or the household just wants to exist and get everything handed to him tired of trying hard to help someone that won't help them-self. He won't take any meds and can't make him cause he is 18. My son says he is going to live in a motel the beginning of next month and still go to school. I think it maybe best. I don't know if he can manage that though either.
     
  6. Mar 14, 2011 Post #6 of 85
    Whispering Winds

    Whispering Winds Songster

    3,798
    8
    218
    Jan 14, 2009
    Bond County, Illinois
    He might need to go to an assisted living group for awhile, to learn how to live on his own and he needs a person to handle his money too, a payee that wil make sure he pays his bills and then gets an allowance. You could do that, but honestly, I did it for my DD and her husband (ex) and it drove me nuts. He would call me constantly wanting this this and this and its better to get someone unrelated or not connected. Your DS needs counseling for anger issues, that won't do anything but get worse. Sometimes you just have to look away and turn your back, so to speak, until they get the help they need or they get it thru their heads that you are NOT going to do what you did before; things have changed. I was an enabler, and took me a lot of hard knocks to stop, but I did, and DD is a better person because of it.
     
  7. Mar 14, 2011 Post #7 of 85
    Qi Chicken

    Qi Chicken Songster

    1,028
    6
    161
    Jul 3, 2009
    The simple truth is that you can not motivate someone. You can encourage but either they want to or don't. And you can't make them want to. It is so hard, I am sure with someone you love as much as you do your son, but he will have to want it. Good luck:hugs I think that you'll have to let him live on his own and figure out what he wants as hard as it will be to do.
     
  8. Mar 14, 2011 Post #8 of 85
    TigerLilly

    TigerLilly I failed Chicken Math

    3,035
    6
    183
    Jul 18, 2010
    Central Florida
    If he is going to move out, the best way for him to learn at this point is to do it and see.
    It never really hurts anyone to try and fail. What hurts is never trying at all.
     
  9. Mar 14, 2011 Post #9 of 85
    arabianequine

    arabianequine Crowing

    4,174
    12
    251
    Apr 4, 2010
    I am his payee already but my husband worries about that with me being his payee.

    I don't know we will see he is pretty mad and said some bad things today. I can't make him get counseling either though.
     
  10. Mar 14, 2011 Post #10 of 85
    EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

    21,908
    97
    418
    Jan 12, 2007
    Land of Lincoln
    Give him the "tough love" method.
     
Page 1 of 9

BackYard Chickens is proudly sponsored by: