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What do you do with an unmotivated 18 year old?

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by arabianequine, Mar 14, 2011.

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  1. Mar 14, 2011 #1
    arabianequine

    arabianequine Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I really want to just give up.
     
  3. Mar 14, 2011 #2
    Whispering Winds

    Whispering Winds Chillin' With My Peeps

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    Good question. BUT, exactly what do you mean by unmotivated?
     
  5. Mar 14, 2011 #3
    Momagain1

    Momagain1 Chillin' With My Peeps

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    depends on unmotivated; I have an unmotivated 20 yr old...
    she is soon going to be homeless...(not by anything I've done..)...

    it depends on what is going on...what aspect of life you are seeing the lack of motivation...
    more info please!
     
  7. Mar 14, 2011 #4
    jeaucamom

    jeaucamom Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I made mine go live with her dad.. it brought a lot of peace to my home.
     
  9. Mar 14, 2011 #5
    arabianequine

    arabianequine Chillin' With My Peeps

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    He has 3 credits in high school. This last fall I put him in a class to work on getting his ged and skipped today or late an hour and the teacher would not let him come in after that but they tried several times so the teacher called me and told me so I blocked and turned of his cell phone and then a big fight argument....so much more then this though he has adhd, odd, and has had a bit of conduct disorder at times...his step father does not want him hear no more my son is not happy here he gets money from ssi so he could live on his own he has destroyed are bathroom and his room does nothing to help himself or the household just wants to exist and get everything handed to him tired of trying hard to help someone that won't help them-self. He won't take any meds and can't make him cause he is 18. My son says he is going to live in a motel the beginning of next month and still go to school. I think it maybe best. I don't know if he can manage that though either.
     
  11. Mar 14, 2011 #6
    Whispering Winds

    Whispering Winds Chillin' With My Peeps

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    He might need to go to an assisted living group for awhile, to learn how to live on his own and he needs a person to handle his money too, a payee that wil make sure he pays his bills and then gets an allowance. You could do that, but honestly, I did it for my DD and her husband (ex) and it drove me nuts. He would call me constantly wanting this this and this and its better to get someone unrelated or not connected. Your DS needs counseling for anger issues, that won't do anything but get worse. Sometimes you just have to look away and turn your back, so to speak, until they get the help they need or they get it thru their heads that you are NOT going to do what you did before; things have changed. I was an enabler, and took me a lot of hard knocks to stop, but I did, and DD is a better person because of it.
     
  13. Mar 14, 2011 #7
    Qi Chicken

    Qi Chicken Chillin' With My Peeps

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    The simple truth is that you can not motivate someone. You can encourage but either they want to or don't. And you can't make them want to. It is so hard, I am sure with someone you love as much as you do your son, but he will have to want it. Good luck:hugs I think that you'll have to let him live on his own and figure out what he wants as hard as it will be to do.
     
  15. Mar 14, 2011 #8
    TigerLilly

    TigerLilly I failed Chicken Math

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    If he is going to move out, the best way for him to learn at this point is to do it and see.
    It never really hurts anyone to try and fail. What hurts is never trying at all.
     
  17. Mar 14, 2011 #9
    arabianequine

    arabianequine Chillin' With My Peeps

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    I am his payee already but my husband worries about that with me being his payee.

    I don't know we will see he is pretty mad and said some bad things today. I can't make him get counseling either though.
     
  19. Mar 14, 2011 #10
    EweSheep

    EweSheep Flock Mistress

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    Give him the "tough love" method.
     
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