What is one to do with Mothers?

I personally am at wits end with mine. I have no idea on how to handle the situations she puts on me any longer.

First, I am not a bad person. I am not the greatest thing since sliced bread either, I can only do so much as I am HUMAN. I do have patience, but not as much as I wish sometimes and I do say things I regret. Again, I'm only human.

So long story short as this spans over YEARS. My mother had gotten laid off last year due to her medical issues, and rewarded some $ for not being let go for proper reasons. Not much mind you, just enough with her unemployment to get her through for a few month even though they did not give her unemployment or the reward until several months later. So we paid to have some things fixed and taken care of at their home. ( My mother lives with my father still who just went back to work about 2 months ago, she also has my little sister living there with her 2 sons) So my mother decided to cash out her IRA 6 months early, after I told her not to, and paid the penalties losing $20k of her retirement that wasn't much. I was told when the money was all gone in less then 2 months to mind my business.

She was able to get cobra for her medical for the meantime, and she's got a LOT of medical problems including her eyes. I've taken her to a few surgeries in the last few months. For her eyes and other things. My sister's car broke down (which was my mom's car, but she gave it to my sister since my sister can't afford one and without getting into that, my sister is given EVERYTHING and pays nothing to live there), so now she is driving my mom's truck. However, my mother shouldn't be driving now, though she says after the surgery her eyes are wonderful. She was in an accident last year, and we're sad about what happened with that still, and I'm sure she is... but we don't talk about it, she takes that to church with her to deal with. I'm told to mind my own business...

Soon you'll notice a pattern as to why everything I try to be involved in, is none of my business!

So since the beginning of July I have taken her to 5 appointments, 2 minor surgeries and a follow up. I'm supposed to have taken her to 2 more appointments tomorrow. However, because no one ever seems to give her her car back, and my sister and dad don't ever feel like driving, after every appointment I have to stop at the grocery store so she can pick something up, or her bank, or a pharmacy, ect ect. I take her to an appointment at 10am and don't get home until 4pm in the afternoon. Today she left me and my daughter in the car in a parking lot with the car running for over 45 minutes. She wanted to stop at the grocery store and get some cheese to go home and make a sandwich, then there were TOO many good deals and she had to grab them up! So we're heading off home and I don't know why... I knew if I said something she'd flip, but I said it anyways. "You don't need to slam my truck, you could have shut it gently and not woken up my daughter!" and she flipped out! Goes into the whole how ungrateful I am and how she didn't know she woke her up and how rude I am. (A simple SORRY would have been fine, it was all I wanted.) She continues to yell, I yell back of course, let her know that I run her all over the place and I am allowed to annoyed. She says she'll go spend money she doesn't have buying another car for herself, and I tell her she should take her car back from the ungrateful daughter she has at home, and charge her rent or bills and maybe she'd have money for a taxi! Yeah, I know, I was mad! She pulled a $20 at and threw it at me, I told her to stop or I was pulling over and she could walk. My daughter is crying at this point. So I pulled over and made her get out on this endless country road.

Now I got out after a minute while she was calling my dad to come get her, I attempted to apologize but she was still yelling at me about how she's 32 years older then me and I have no right to talk to her like whatever, and how she's my mother and I am do what I am doing without talking back. It was her earned right for raising me. That I needed to understand my sister's lousy position in life and butt out of that, understand my brother is younger then me and works part time, he doesn't have the money or time to run her around so that leaves me to take care of her. Basically I have helped her with so much without a thank you because she keeps shoving it in my face that I am SUPPOSED to be doing all this for her. I don't work she says, I have time, my husband makes the money. Well in fact I do work from home full time for little pay, but I have responsibilities! She belittles everything I do, and whenever I have a thought or a view on something she will tell me that I am WRONG and she knows because she's lived longer then me and seen more then me. She told me I'm 31, but act 15 and to her I will always be a child.

My father made her get in the car with me, we didn't talk until we got back to her house, then I didn't say a thing. I just let her belittle me and tell me I needed mental help. That I needed to get over being right all the time. That I have no right to try to control her, that I should be helping her and thanking her. (This is the woman who had me pay rent at 16, and bought my own car, paid my own bills and walked to 2 part time jobs to do all this. Plus I put myself through college because she went into bankruptcy twice before I was 20!)

She's been nasty, and my husband is sick of how she belittles my family. She rarely helps me out by babysitting because she's always SICK or has to watch my sister's kids because she takes off and dumps them every weekend to date random guys! I hate having to ask her for help and rarely do because she won't.

I asked her to baby sit next week for 2 hours so I can take a meeting trying to start my small business. She agreed as of last Monday... but not now.

Before I left her house, she said she knew something was wrong with me since I can't even take care of and raise 1 child properly... I just said "Good thing I'm not going to have anymore then huh? I'm pretty terrible and I feel bad how lousy my daughter's life is going end up."