When will he grow up?

[hikerchick]

Quote:
Ah, EXCELLENT advice!

 

[mamagardener]

I would be so angry if someone in my family did that. But as they say sometimes the younger generation can be very selfish. I agree with Redhen, let him be, but if he wants something from you don't jump to give it to him. Just let him know how much he hurt you, and that family should come first.

 

[The Chicken People]

He is currently working and he pays gma money for rent 400 per month but he just cant keep a job and support himself....gmas not gonna be around forever she is stage 4....I wont let him move back home when gmas gone ...mainly cause hes come home a few times already and left making us out to be the bad parents and not to mention the mess he always leaves behind

 

[The Chicken People]

No is our new word! To all of them except our grandson!

 

[The Chicken People]

I have to go finish Salsa but thanks for letting me vent...if I told any one other than BYC it would start problems thats why I vented here!

 

[agnes_day]

kids are good at making you mad, thats for sure.

 

[The Chicken People]

Yes and you would think it gets easier as they get older but no...I think they make me hurt more now that they are all "adults" My youngest daughter moved my grandson to the ghetto just to be with her baby daddy ..now they all live with his mom and my grandsons needs are not put first! Her bf wont even get a job thats why they lost their house for non payment of rent!

 

[agnes_day]

good lord, its easy to say kick them out or whatever, but to be honest i dont know how i would react to all of that!
tell her that she should get a job and support the baby if her boyfriend wont..maybe you could babysit while she works!

 

[gumpsgirl]

I am currently a mother of 3 teenage boys (I have 5 kids total but three of them are teens) ages 17, almost 15, and 13. Let me tell you, it isn't a walk in the park!

I am with these boys 24/7 as I do homeschool and life gets tough a lot of days.

The biggest piece of advice I can give you is to learn to pick your fights. What is deemed to be important in your eyes, very well may not seem important in your 15 year olds eyes. I'm not saying your wrong by any means, he just needs to see it in your perspective because he obviously isn't. The only thing he sees is that you are attempting to hold him back and he's big enough to make his own decisions. They have to learn that is not the case and that you have many more years worth of wisdom than they do.

I have found that the best approach to my boys when they go into hard head mode, is to sit down and talk calmly to them about the situation. After all, they view themselves as an adult and want to be treated like one. You will be surprised at what a nice calm talk will do to help him change his perspective. He's in the "been there done that" mode thinking the anniversary is no biggy as he's "been there done that" for every previous year. He just needs to know that this is important to you in a calm way. It might not go over well at first, but once he's thought about it, he will probably change his mind. First, you are going to have to do some apologizing on your part to even get him to listen to you at this point. Let him know you are sorry and that you were just upset when you found out he wasn't going to be around. I would also leave the girlfriend issue out of it. He's the one who has chosen a cheater and will ultimately be the one burned in the end. Next time, he will choose more wisely! It's all about learning and growing. As much as we (the parent) would love to save our kids from the hurt we see coming, sometimes they have to experience it themselves to be able to fully grow from the situation.

Good luck to you and remember that patience, no matter how hard it is and believe me I do know, goes a long, long way when working things out with your teen.

Now to end with a bit of humor! My favorite saying of all time is, "Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young". How true that is!

 

[Chickens n' more]

The day my son turned 18 he quit school, packed his things, called his 16 year old girlfriend and her mother drove 2 hours here to get him and took him to live with them. He has never been able to hold a job more than 2 months and when him and the girlfriend got into a fight he came to visit us for two weeks. (Only time he has been to visit since he left almost 2 years ago. No holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries.) He went back, they got back together. Two months later, he called and said that I was going to be a Grandmother! After figuring the dates, I had my doubts that the baby was his. Eventually, he called and said it was not his but he was going to stay with her and raise it as his own. Mind you he can not hold a job and they live with her psycho mother. Today is her baby shower and he is angry at me for not coming. He can not understand why I can not except this baby and the trampy 16 year old girlfriend with open arms as he has. BUT, even with all the drama and no holiday visits or family get togethers, he is my son and I will always love him and welcome him with open arms. He may act like a dumb *** but he is mine. Flesh and blood. They grow up eventually and I am not going to let a few rough times ruin our family and our chances at being close again. He called the other day and said he just signed a 6 year contract with the Army National Guards. He is almost 20, but growing up.