Who Had Babies After 35??

[Pelican49]

Quote:
I had my children in the 70s, so we didn't have access to all the wonders nowdays.

My youngest, a daughter, had her first baby in '05 at the ripe old age of 32. She didn't have the Amnio, but did have the 4D scan. Something her Dr. insisted on for all patients over 30. Fortunately, that meant insurance had to cover it. I did go with her and it was absolutely amazing to me. I could see all the details of my Grandson before he was born. My Daughter is due again in November, so she will be 35 when the new one comes along.
This is one of the 4D shots from my 1st Grandchild. To me, he looked like he was having a pleasant dream.

 

[sundance]

We adopted our youngest son at age 39, and I can truly say this is a child after my heart, he has brought us the greatest happiness possible, Our youngest child was 16when he was born, so I have grandchildren older than he is, but at 39 we had more time patience and understanding that you only have them for a little while,so even tho i don't love him more(which the other 3 say) he is still dear to my heart, He is now 33, serving in Iraq, and still mama's baby.

marrie

 

[patandchickens]

Gwen, I'm glad to hear you're feeling better about this now

<hug>

After 35? Goodness, I did not get *married* until after 35

First kid was born when I was 39 (in hospital but with midwives not drs); second one last year when I was 42 (homebirth with midwives - an *excellent* idea for those for whom it is a feasible and sensible option).

I totally hear you on the amnio thing. You should read up on the bloodwork type tests, too, though -- on the one hand they do not involve risk per se the way amniocentesis does, but on the other hand they have a WRETCHEDLY poor accuracy rate, in both directions but most commonly in the "making you worry when in fact there's nothing wrong" direction. And there is no evidence that doing them improve outcomes when the baby is born. So you should read up on it and make an intelligent decision of your own, not just go with what the Drs will I promise you try to railroad you into.

Ultrasound is not *necessarily* without risks (poorly studied in past, more studies being done nowadays tho still not enough). However, risks of a single ultrasound are probably slight if any at all. There is NO evidence that ANY second-trimester ultrasound improves outcomes (not even the regular one, let alone the 3D thing), but if it makes you feel better it is probably basically harmless, at least if you only have it done once. (There *is* some worrisome, although not comprehensive enough to be convincing one way or the other, evidence that early ultrasounds may raise miscarriage rates, and that repeated ultrasounds later in pregnancy may carry a risk of slowing the growth rate of the fetus. I stress that these are only interesting patterns in data sets at this point, though, not Firm Findings).

I totally agree with whoever said to consider a doula. Or even a midwife if that's an option for you

And read up on the current state of knowledge about things. A lot has changed even just in the past few years. Hospital and ob/gyn practice is still sadly lagging behind what medical research is finding... and in STUPID ways too, such as dramatic overuse of epidurals and caesarians to the degree that there are poorer outcomes for babies.

One of the advantages of being an older-and-wiser mother is that you are better prepared to educate yourself and then put your foot down when necessary to insist on what's best for you and best for your baby, rather than just going along with whatever some guy in a white coat says you 'have to' do

Good luck and congratulations again,

Pat

 

[Sunny Side Up]

I was blessed with children at ages 35, 41, & almost 43. I would have loved to continue, but it seems that ship has sailed away. I felt more tired with the last pregnancy, but it also could have been the other 2 boys I had to run after at the same time. I think older moms have a different perspective on life & children & etc, you're more certain of your priorities, more calm & confident.

I refused to get even the AFP blood test. The results are interpreted differently based on your age, the older you are the higher the percentage of chance of problems they'll tell you. My midwives told me it's a very inaccurate test, but it can get moms all worried for nothing.

The docs made me sign all sorts of waivers so I couldn't blame them later, they showed me all those statistics with increasing percentages of troubles as mom grows older. All right, whatever, you can't scare me.

I didn't get the AFP because I knew if it looked bad they'd tell me to get an amnio, & I wouldn't because of the risk of miscarriage & besides, if the amnio looked bad they'd recommend I abort.

I loved getting ultrasounds, never got more than a 2-D, but I really wanted a window installed in the front of my stomach, like on my oven door, so I could watch the baby grow.

I'd recommend you find some loving, caring, experienced midwives to see you through this pregnancy. Hopefully you can find one to attend your birth wherever you wish, at home, a birthing center, or the hospital.

Blessings to you & your new babe!

 

[Farmer Kitty]

A midwife delivered my second child. I would do it again!

 

[patandchickens]

I think it is very amusing -- and telling! -- that although many people these days seem to think that having your baby born with midwives rather than doctors means that you're some thoughtless ignoramus hick, in point of fact, midwives' clientele is usually heavily biased towards older, more educated and better-off women. And women who are more likely to take the time to learn more about pregnancy and make informed decisions rather than just going 'uh huh' to whatever somebody else says.

We know what we want, and we know what we *don't* want too, and we are not going to be treated like ignorant sheep. We are pregnant adult women, hear us roar <vbg>


Pat, who would like to have more kids but neither of us really wants multiple kids still in high school after DH retires

 

[GwenFarms]

I agree. If I had it to do over all of my children would have been born at home. That was my first inclination with my oldest, but I was young and easily intimidated. Now three c sections later, its no longer an option. Each time I begged for a more natural birth, but was told that some medical emergency had arose. As most of you know, my youngest is permanently disbled because of too much medical intervention. I think the medical communtity has gone too far and hits the panic button too quickly when it come to child birth. While my daughter would have never lived had it not been for the medical headway that has been made, she would have never nearly died had it not been for it either. Its a very slippery slope.

I'm amazed at how many women here have had later in life babies. I know you read in magazines that its a trend, but truthfully I don't know too many women personally, in real life, who have. Its good to know I'm in such great company!

 

[Blooming chicks]

Gwen,
I had my first child at age 20 (not planned) and my second at age 36 (planned). I also said "NO WAY" to amnio. The Dr. made me sign a "statement of refusal" for the amnio--which made me feel aweful--but now, looking back, I dont regret the decision at all. I thought there were a few more tests with the second pregnancy, and genetic counselling was required. But overall, not much else changed. I agree with other posts, over 35 is pretty commonplace now-a-days, and most people are just at a better place in life by then. Like you, I had to have a c-section because the doctors were uncomfortable with VBAC, otherwise it would have been a midwife for me too.
Good luck to you.

 

[patandchickens]

It's not just nowadays. My mom had me and my sister at 38 and 40, respectively (this was in the mid 1960s). And *her mother, back in the 10920s, had kids through her late 30s.

Although I will say that when my mom (who was NOT planning to have kids!) got pregnant with me, she says it took her months to figure out why she felt so awful, because (she sez) she did not think it was possible for her to get pregnant at "such an advanced age"

Gwen it sounds like you certainly have your head screwed on right and are ready and willing to stand up for yourself, however unexpected this pregnancy is. Good for you!!!

<applause>

Take care, and enjoy (insofar as morning sickness at this age is enjoyable

),

Pat

 

[pips&peeps]

I had my children at ages 30, 32 and 34.

My second child, Faith, has Down Syndrome and we love her to death! When I was pregnant with my third child the Doctor wanted me to have amnio, but after we discussed the risks of amnio with the risks of having another child with Down Syndrome, we were please to know that the amnio risks were higher.

We went ahead with an ultrasound and our little girl had 10 fingers and 10 toes and that was all that mattered. If our third child was going to have Down Syndrome also, we were keeping her anyway, so what was the point.....

I would like to say, with all the blood tests and ultrasounds they did on my second pregnancy, they had no clue until she was born of any genetic abnormality. So, some of the tests can have false positives and some false negatives