Why are people so rude? Need to vent... *LONG*

[MissPrissy]

I hope you are not too upset with me but from the outside looking in on the siuation you wrote about even when you step in and stop the behavior and correct the boy he is still abusive in his actions toward your son. Again while there is a lesson to be learned by both boys and only your son most likely will learn anything at all after it continues on and it is repeated, your son tolerates the behavior, and it is abusive on the part of the other child and inflicted onto your son.

I have been there and done that with a little girl and my 10 ten year old DD. You cannot parent someone else's child.

 

[Guitartists]

It's hard, but ties must be cut. The kids have had similar type situations over the years that we have had to discourage or break off all together..... we are better for it. You can't save everyone and it sounds like your son will be better off making some new friends and letting this one go their own way.

It can be awkward when you run into them later on, but, you will learn to just smile and keep going

Better to be just passingly friendly than inviting

They will eventually get the point and move on.

Good luck!

 

[MissJames]

I'm all over the map on this one.My youngest [avitar chick] has MR and autism.I had a son with Fetal alcohol syndrome [adopted].Kids with special needs.especially autism,have poor social skills.They just don't read social cues and therefore have no friends.The way you described this boy in your first post leads me to believe something of that nature may be going on.It would be hard to blame the child.
The mom,however is a different issue.She may need help and a break [God knows I sympathize],but taking advantage of you is wrong.
Next phone call have it preplanned what you will say.Either a clear "no,not today" or set limits up front. I'm a lot like you and hate a confrontation,but this woman needs limits.
I am curious what kind of help / interventions this boy is getting.He will soon be an adult with the same issues if he is not helped.

 

[ibpboo]

Even the mentally and/or physically challenged people need to adhere to societies standards. When bad behavior is accepted because of a disadvantage, that child may grow up to be a problem adult, expecting special treatment and only get into trouble and end up in a lot of trouble.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Exactly!..very well said!..

 

[gumpsgirl]

Kameron, DH, and myself have had a talk this morning and feel that it is best to part ways with this boy like you all recommended. You have all put it into perspective for me and made me realize that in the long run it will only hurt my child mentally and possibly physically. I've never thought of it that way and you all made me realize it. Kameron was a bit upset, but I had to point out that it wasn't right for me as his mom to let someone else take advantage of him the way this boy does. I then asked him if it was any fun being hit by this boy or talked rude to and explained to him that people don't hit people or talk rude to people and that he never needs to put up with that kind of abuse. We've talked about that before, after the choking incident and he had been instructed at that point to not let Tim hit him or put his hands on him again. It just seemed like that pattern kept continuing and I was always playing mediator (we don't behave that way, that wasn't kind, etc...). After some thought, he agreed and I told him he could have one of the boys over that he goes to scouts with more often. With no second thoughts, he went on his merry way and hasn't mentioned it! I will start screening phone calls for now on and when the opportunity arises, will talk with his mother and be frank. Thank you all for the ideas, support, and help!

Edited for spelling errors. OOPS!

 

[gumpsgirl]

Quote:
Of course I'm not upset with you or anyone else who has left their thoughts. It has helped a whole lot and I do appreciate everyone putting this into perspective for you. It is much easier being on the outside looking in to help shed light on some situations. This happened to be one of them and I do greatly appreciate all of the advice. Hugs right back at you MissP!

 

[RickiHupp]

Quote:
LMAO Thats has GOT to be the best advice I have EVER heard

 

[purr]

suggest family counseling for them if your lucky she will get really offended. problem solved if not she'll get counciling either way you need to sit down with her and explain your first concern is Your son and the friendship will have to come to an end because it is an unhealthy one.

 

[JennsPeeps]

Gumpsgirl - you just demonstrated a very good bit of parenting in how you addressed the situation with your son. Nicely done! You taught him confict management, boundaries, communication, and self-respect.

I commend you.