Why can't my husband hear me?

[HennysMom]

Quote:
I think that was well said actually Al. My hubby may not hear me every time, but then again, after 20 years of marriage, I dont hear him every time either. I believe it becomes a "habit" moreso than an actual - we're so used to each other sometimes we automatically say "uh huh" or "hmmm...thats nice" because he's talking about work or I'm talking about... *laughing now* Chickens! He'll call me out on it or I'll call him out on it... either directly "Did you just hear a thing I said?" Or... indirectly "Oh yeah, and my boyfriend stopped by today and we had wild sex...he left this for you".... and if he says "Uh huh" then it's usually followed by a "What did you just say? Sex??" LOL

He usually starts to pay attention....and I call him on it (or vice versa).

Sometimes its a comfort zone thing and not so much an "I'm ignoring you" thing - but I do agree...he should acknowledge you regardless - one time is one thing, but if it keeps happening over and over again - you need to get to the bottom of the deeper issue.

 

[al6517]

Horsejody :

Like I didn't see that coming, the reversal, as expected, good one.

 

[al6517]

Quote:
I think that was well said actually Al. My hubby may not hear me every time, but then again, after 20 years of marriage, I dont hear him every time either. I believe it becomes a "habit" moreso than an actual - we're so used to each other sometimes we automatically say "uh huh" or "hmmm...thats nice" because he's talking about work or I'm talking about... *laughing now* Chickens! He'll call me out on it or I'll call him out on it... either directly "Did you just hear a thing I said?" Or... indirectly "Oh yeah, and my boyfriend stopped by today and we had wild sex...he left this for you".... and if he says "Uh huh" then it's usually followed by a "What did you just say? Sex??" LOL

He usually starts to pay attention....and I call him on it (or vice versa).

Sometimes its a comfort zone thing and not so much an "I'm ignoring you" thing - but I do agree...he should acknowledge you regardless - one time is one thing, but if it keeps happening over and over again - you need to get to the bottom of the deeper issue.

I agree that we must never take each other for granted. If like you said happens, I just look at her and smile, so she knows I heard her, and then it turns into a lighter moment, and not a confrontation.

AL

 

[texaschick-a-dee]

I read something somewhere about the difference in men's ability to tune things out and women's inability to tune things out but I'll be derned if I can find it now! Basically it stated that our brains are different, if a man and a woman were having dinner in a restaraunt and there was a conversation at the next table the woman would hear both conversations and would not be able to tune either out but the man would only hear the one at his table.

Here is something that you'll notice when you have kids: if you are watching t.v. (or on the phone) and your kids are fighting you will not be able to only pay attention to the t.v. (or conversation)

. Men on the other hand will only focus on the t.v. (or conversation) and your kids could kill each other right there and they won't notice.

It's crazy but it happens!

 

[HennysMom]

You know -its true - we do hear things all at once and men dont LOL!

I also will probably get pegged for this but... I still say the greatest book to read to understand HOW a man thinks and and how a woman thinks is to read the book Men are From Mars Women are From Venus..

talk about insight.... LOL!

I nodded my head the ENTIRE TIME I was reading that book...and luckily - my DH was man enough to read it also - and he said when he got done "YEAH - NOW YOU KNOW WHAT I"M TALKING ABOUT - and now I KNOW what YOU MEAN when you say "you're not grump AT me..you're just grump TO me"

I've always told him there's a difference.... now he gets it ROFL!

 

[al6517]

Quote:
Oh I most certainly agree that there is science involved, it starts with X's and Y's. our minds are wired differently, and that is a good thing. it works!!!

AL

 

[al6517]

Quote:
See!!! now we are getting somewhere, well said. Tell your husband good job. I think many people will agree that we live in a disposable society, and this seems to carry on over to our relationships. That it is easier to throw your hands up and quit, as opposed taking the high road and doing the really hard work to make it good.

AL

 

[PurpleChicken]

Quote:
That was brilliant. Real mean aren't afraid to speak the truth, regardless
of the outcome.

 

[al6517]

PC :

I knew you would have my back on this one. fist pump!!!

AL

 

[momofdrew]

Quote:
Jus tfound this jpost and dont have time toread all of the thread but it sounds tome like he may have a bit of attention deficet disorder Most ADD people are super smart...but if they are watching tv or are on the computer they are totally zoned out and dont even hear you talking...My son and husband have ADD issues and I get really frustrated at times...
That goes with responding to requests that require action...they are slow to react