Why can't my husband hear me?

[sis]

In the evening when your watching tv, you hold the remote. When a commercial comes on, there should be 3 in a row, 90 seconds to 3 min.
hit mute, turn and look at him, he will look at you, like your going to change the channel? or what are you doing? You have his attention, talk to him, till the show comes back on, when the show comes back on, say, hey lets see what happens now with ............
next commerical, say would you like a snack? jump up and get it,
next night, commercial his turn to run get snacks.
If my husband and I have not had enough time together because of work, life etc, this is what I do, we make it fun.

 

[monarc23]

Quote:
Oh i can't agree with this more....great example a saturday was coming up and I said something about the trip we were taking to get some critter....and his jaw about hits the floor and he's like "what are we doing?" My head about exploded with annoyance....he completley forgot our converstation about going to pick up the said critter (i forget what it was...) and although he didnt care he accused me of not talking to him about it. when I remembered CLEARLY him saying "sure we can, this weekend though too busy this week"....herm.....

It has gotten to the point now that when he forgets something we've talked about he goes "i assume we've talked about this and I completley forget, explain it again please?" haha he's learning

I give him credit though, he works more hours a week than most do, (overtime is a constant in his job of drilling on the rigs). He'll come home dog tired, sleep like 2 hours and randomly get a phone call from the one main boss that he's needed at another rig farrr away...so that means he cant get his full 5-6 hours of sleep,,, this happened yesterday....the poor guy got less than 2 hours of sleep....what with the power going out, and my cell phone being dead I had to ask him if he could set the timer on his cell phone (he doesnt like his things touched--for fear i'll break it hahaha), then not evena half hour later his boss calls. Poor guy had to get up....with blood shot eyes, he didnt even get to brush his teeth or eat.....he packed his things and left....he had to drive 2 hours to his own rig to pick up his things, then drive the whole way back and past our place another almost 2 hours to the new rig site to relief drill for a driller who hurt his back. Right now my sweetie is sleeping in a hotel, and I hope no ones disturbing him there

with this said, I allow him to forget, but appreciate when he tries to remember

 

[HennysMom]

Quote:
See!!! now we are getting somewhere, well said. Tell your husband good job. I think many people will agree that we live in a disposable society, and this seems to carry on over to our relationships. That it is easier to throw your hands up and quit, as opposed taking the high road and doing the really hard work to make it good.

AL

Yup yup! Too many people are too eager to throw their hands up and say "I'm done - too hard" - marriage IS hard work, no one said it was easy. We got married when I was 20 - met when I was 19; he was 23, married at 24. Young, yes - but...very wise for our ages and secure heads on our shoulders. Was it easy? Nope - has it been easy? NOPE. Its hard tail busting work; I liken it to the childhood game Chutes and Ladders

Sometimes you're the Chute..sometimes you're the Ladder - but...always at the end of either (top or bottom) there is someone there to greet you!

It is a good book though - he learned alot ROFL!!!

(okay..had to get that jibe in there..) hee hee

 

[BeardedChick]

Quote:
Oh, that really backfires at my house. He just has to pay MORE attention to the TV so he can read their lips. You have to click the TV OFF.

 

[mom'sfolly]

Al, one thing I seriously disagree with is what you called "drivel" in women's conversation. Just because it isn't important to you doesn't mean it is drivel to the the person doing the talking. Men and women make connections in different ways.....you are completely disparaging of women's conversation.

For example, my husband will tell me an aquaintance or friend will have had a child. He'll say "Joe and Jill just had a baby boy", and I'll say "what did they name him". The reply is "I didn't ask" or "I don't remember". This will be the same for size of baby, when it happened, where it happened, etc. For him it is enough to know they had a baby, and it's healthy, for me, I want to know everything. This isn't good information vs. drivel, its just different. And I think it is a good example of men vs. women when it comes to language.

Another example is that men can consider someone a good friend if they get together for a beer and watch a game every six months or so, and talk maybe 5-10 minutes total. For women, this would at best be an aquaintance.

I am perfectly convinced that language was invented by women for women, and men just took it up when they found out that it was easier to get the team together to hunt by telling them know ahead of time.

 

[Lobzi]

"He says that it's because I talk to him when he's doing things, but he is ALWAYS doing something. I don't know anyone who sits around doing nothing, waiting for a conversation to be started, especially him. He's such an active guy, always reading something or building something, or dreaming up some great new project."
Men cannot multi-task like women. It is a fact having to do with the make up of their brains and the interconnection between the right and left sides.

 

[jvls1942]

I think you should be very appy that he is there and doing things and ignoring what you are saying..

He could be like many other guys and be sitting at a tavern doing ...........??????????

 

[al6517]

mom'sfolly :

Al, one thing I seriously disagree with is what you called "drivel" in women's conversation. Just because it isn't important to you doesn't mean it is drivel to the the person doing the talking. Men and women make connections in different ways.....you are completely disparaging of women's conversation.

I am perfectly convinced that language was invented by women for women, and men just took it up when they found out that it was easier to get the team together to hunt by telling them know ahead of time.

I respectfully disagree, we men will hear you speaking but it is our as is any persons regardless of gender choice to then listen to what you are saying. you want to empower yourselfs by thinking that every single mumble is worth the attention of the U.N. . we just want the choice to listen or not, we do hear you, rate the comment and decide to respond or not.

I do agree that language may have been created by women, why else would they get so mad when somebody doesn't listen to whining and babbling. Remember it was a man who coined the phrase silence is golden & to be seen and not heard.


I respect your opinion and yes I am listening intently.

AL​

 

[jvls1942]

Quote:
I must not know what multi-task means... does it mean that we cannot do more than one thing at a time??

I wonder if running a backhoe with thirteen levers and foot pedals , brakes and outriggers, forward and backward moving and managing to not slide into the sandy sided hole being dug qualifies as multi=tasking??

I won't even go into pain thresh-hold..

 

[onthespot]

tell ya what. We can play Wife Swap for a week, but since I'm single, you get to be a bachelorette for a week. Go to social functions and observe how most couples take turns talking during a conversation and try to memorize how it is so you can copy it when you get back home. I will keep your husband company and with all due respect to parties involve, when his week is up, he WILL know when it is time to pause his planning, reading, doing, napping and snap to it and answer yes or no to a simple question. He will probably answer much faster than you are accustomed to, so just ask a brief question and don't ramble on, because he will answer back while you are rambling and you will think he did not answer. Then you need to let him continue to dream big dreams, finish his coffee or sandwich or what have you, and resume repairing whatever got broken... You will be able to get him to repeat this trick of answering simple questions with simple answers at least three times a day, so pick your questions carefully and don't crowd them too close together timewise... Oh, and he migh blink hard and put his hands over his head when you start the question, don't worry, that is normal. As long as he keeps doing that, you know he is paying attention. If he starts slacking off, just call me and I will gladly give him a tune-up for free.