Why did my baby go through this?

[PrettyChicky25]

It will be two weeks Sunday since I lost her and I am not handling it well at all. From 5:30 in the morning till roosting time she was in my hands being tended to or loved. Then at bedtime I slept with her every night on our loveseat in case she needed me. I don't know what to do with myself or my day. She was my day and my life revolved around her. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I needed her and I still do. I have never felt so empty and heartbroken in my life. Thank you for showing you care.

I am so sorry again and hope that you find peace. I understand how you feel as they are so very precious.

 

[MotherhenXOXO]

I am here again cause I need to get it out. It's been six weeks Sunday since I lost my beloved disabled hen Lizzy. I am not improving at all. I have never experienced a heartbreak like this. I did not expect her to die. It was sudden and terrible. Not long before she passed while facing away from in the middle of trying to lay her egg between my legs , see turned her head back and just looked up at me like she was asking for help or saying goodbye. I can't get that image out of my head. I am crying as I type this.God, I love her so much. Now my days are open to do whatever I want because my days are no longer consumed with taking care of her and having her in my arms all day. I feel empty-handed. I don't want to do anything else but love and take care of her. And when I try to I just cry because it feels so wrong. I'm supposed to be tending and caring for my little baby. I have gotten many remarks that I'm being dramatic and she is just a chicken and chickens aren't supposed to be pets. It hurt bad. Everyone has an opinion and are allowed to it but it made me feel like I am crazy or something. Lizzy gave me the most wonderful love in the world. A love I have never experienced before. She would cry for me if I left her. She would get excited and try to stand and get to me when I came back. She never wanted me to leave her and I never wanted to be without her. How could you not form a special bond when two individuals spent every possible second together? I even slept with her every night on our loveseat cause if she did not see me she would get upset, cry, and even try to get out if her bed. If I was there so slept through the whole night. I feel like I let her down. She depended on me and I let her die. In fact I may be the reason she died. I just can't handle going on knowing that possibility..i don't know what to do with myself either. I miss her and love her so much. She was my purpose, my meaning, my everything. How do I go on?