Why do most people marry?

[EweSheep]

Ewesheep...I suspect your mom had a stroke or mini-stroke. Unless they go looking for damage they won't find it. This could easily cause personality changes.

This is very likely. Her doctor kept stressing her about that because she is in a very high risk for stroke. Its only a matter of time. Since then, she has gone to the hospital and they kept scanning her twice, thinking it is stroke but can not pinpoint yet where it is or a possible clot somewhere amissing.

Ewe, sounds like the Perfectionist had a breakdown of sorts and maybe they couldn't find anything medically because they were looking in the wrong direction. It's hard facing people if her life isn't perfect. If she doesn't get counseling, the rest of you should for your own health.

Its very true. It drives the medical people batty when they can not find the problem. Last time she was in the hospital was about three months ago, thought she had a clot. Nothing was found.

I honestly didnt think a mini stroke would affect personality. If you would have a stroke, paralyzation would occur somewhere.
But nothing was affected so far in features.

I thought maybe because she is dying (she didn't look ill or bad but looking good) and wants to distance herself from us to shield us from the pain of separation. That was my first thought. Well it has been two Christmases ago when it happened so no decline anywhere. She took care of herself, eating right, exercising two miles a day. Of course, without Dad.

I don't want to get off track here with OP's threads, so if you can, you can PM me and we can discuss it there.

 

[wbruder17]

I

Yep..
All a marriage license is is a legal contract.
It wont make your spouse love you any more or any less... its a piece of paper.
It wont make your spouse not cheat on you or hit you..or walk out on you...
Its a piece of  paper.
If you dont have a good, stable, healthy relationship that piece of paper means jack crap...
"Wow, we're legally married but i hate you and we are living a miserable life together... whoopie..".

I agree. My partner and I have been together for 8 years, long for some, short for others, but we own a lovely little homestead that we share with 3the dogs, 23 chickens, 2 ducks, 2 pheasants, quail, chukers and a parakeet. We have a great relationship and are very happy.
There are several reasons why we do not get married.

1. Marriage is a religious institution, and I do not agree that it should have so much influence on politics in a country where we are supposed to seperate church and state.
2. We are not religious...seee #1.
3. The divorce rate in this cou try is astronomical. Marriage no longer means commitment and there is n ot more "sanctity" invloved.
4. One can get the same benefits from a Domestic Partnership in many states, including Oregon.
5. First comesits "when... are youa getting married?". Which is followeda shortly by "when are you having kids?"6 in short, its what everyone EXPECTS you to do, and I don't like to do what everyone else expects. Plus, I am not having kids.
6. Until everyone who wan ts to get marries has that right, I will not be a part of such an institution.

That is why I am NOT getting married.

 

[chickened]

This has always been the argument against gay marriage that it is a religious institution here in America and our laws are built around it. Domestic partnership or civil union would be more appropriate and then all the bennies enjoyed by traditional married people would apply and be granted. Only problem is some people have already decided that animals are their domestic partners and are deserving protection under the law as well. It also is seen by some to include adult to children relationships and that they be included also. The way law is interpretted now days I think we are not that far from who knows what constitutes a DP or CU.

I
I agree. My partner and I have been together for 8 years, long for some, short for others, but we own a lovely little homestead that we share with 3the dogs, 23 chickens, 2 ducks, 2 pheasants, quail, chukers and a parakeet. We have a great relationship and are very happy.
There are several reasons why we do not get married.
1. Marriage is a religious institution, and I do not agree that it should have so much influence on politics in a country where we are supposed to seperate church and state.
2. We are not religious...seee #1.
3. The divorce rate in this cou try is astronomical. Marriage no longer means commitment and there is n ot more "sanctity" invloved.
4. One can get the same benefits from a Domestic Partnership in many states, including Oregon.
5. First comesits "when... are youa getting married?". Which is followeda shortly by "when are you having kids?"6 in short, its what everyone EXPECTS you to do, and I don't like to do what everyone else expects. Plus, I am not having kids.
6. Until everyone who wan ts to get marries has that right, I will not be a part of such an institution.
That is why I am NOT getting married.

 

[wbruder17]

Well, I think its "pushing it" a bit to include animals and children. But between two consenting adult humans is an other issue altogether.

 

[redhen]

This has always been the argument against gay marriage that it is a religious institution here in America and our laws are built around it. Domestic partnership or civil union would be more appropriate and then all the bennies enjoyed by traditional married people would apply and be granted. Only problem is some people have already decided that animals are their domestic partners and are deserving protection under the law as well. It also is seen by some to include adult to children relationships and that they be included also. The way law is interpretted now days I think we are not that far from who knows what constitutes a DP or CU.

You lost me here... explain again in "slow people" words...

 

[Mahonri]

1. It's a commandment from God.
2. I love her with every fiber of my being. In June it will be 25 years married. And she's still a hottie.
3. Our 7 children are grateful we are married. (that too is a commandment of God... the having kids part)
4. I believe that our marriage will go from this life into the next.

I imagine the reasons would be different for my wife.

But, I'll ALWAYS love her now and forever.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Quote: Yep, it is one way to live life. I'm not going to be calling some of my friend's relationships meaningless though, because they have made different choices, and taken different risks, reaped different benefits, and sown different issues than I have. I'm happy with my relationship, so I hope I've never felt the need to tear down other forms, or to try to claim the word and idea of 'marriage' as belonging to one specific grouping of people. I've never found the marriages or relations of pop stars to in any way threaten or ruin my own marriage or relationship. Except that one time when Elvis tried to move in on my man.


Quote: Nope, but it sure would give me a great chance to try out my shiny, new guillotine.


Quote: The awesome thing is...you don't have to tell her that. XD For us however, it is a frequent topic of discussion, given that my husband is a psych/bio major, and I'm simply fascinated by that sort of thing. Can't say it has dampened our personal groove. "Baby, you stimulate my neurons" is not unheard of in this household.



Mom's folly
Quote:
If meaning my use of the term, it was a direct response to the use of the term 'heathen', which commonly means someone who does not belong to the three major monotheistic religions. It was not attempting to mean that polytheism does not include monogamy, or that monotheistic cultures have never included bigamy.


Redhen
Quote:

I can't predict the future, but I take security in the fact that I at least know my husband would tell me if our spark was gone or if he had found someone else, and that I would tell him, and that we both expect that of each other.

WB:


Quote: Most people honestly aren't pushing that one. X) The threat of gay marriage being a "slippery slope" that would include unrelated areas and categories of behavior is a common scare tactic used. I would throw some quotes up here that I've heard from the talking heads that be, but they honestly aren't appropriate for this board...despite coming from the moral protectors of our age.

 

[debilorrah]

1. It's a commandment from God.
2. I love her with every fiber of my being. In June it will be 25 years married. And she's still a hottie.
3. Our 7 children are grateful we are married. (that too is a commandment of God... the having kids part)
4. I believe that our marriage will go from this life into the next.

I imagine the reasons would be different for my wife.

But, I'll ALWAYS love her now and forever.

Ken and I are blended family. And I love them like they were my own.

 

[chickened]

Which part? The non traditional marriage people that I know better than an aquaintance tell me they do not think marriage as in it's tradiotional form is what they want. They want the laws that require employers to cover spouses to apply to them and other benefits. Most gays have no religious connection to the institution of marriage and only view it as a legal contract that they feel denies them special rights. The traditional marriage folks want to preserve marriage to between a man and a woman. When the definition of marriage gets broadened to cover domestic partners then the folks a little further down the line think that that definition should include other relationships as well as I mentioned (trying to stay family friendly) in my earlier post. There are organizations out there that say this on their websites that I can PM you about if you like. I will try to locate it but there are some from the companion animal groups that advocate for their pets. There are immigrants that come from cultures that feel nothing wrong with a 40 year old man marrying a 15 year old girl. We have laws against that and it would be very difficult to craft a law that does not deny them that right when you braoden the definition of marriage to a domestic partnership partly due to the way marriage is defined and intergrated in our laws since our existence as a country. There are legal forums/sites that discuss the legalities and potential problems with domestic partner laws. .

You lost me here... explain again in "slow people" words...

 

[Beekissed]

I can't speak for most people but I can tell you why I did. It was a combination of things, the primary reason being that I had low self esteem. Of course, I thought I was in love at the time but I also wanted the convenience of not feeling bad about premarital sex or being scared about getting pregnant. I wanted the feeling of being loved and sheltered, cherished and accepted~which I'd never really had at home. I wanted an escape from my parents and from an undecided future.

I was 19 when I got married, had my first child at 20 and was separated before the first year anniversary.

I think I was just searching for someone to care about me as a human and to be a witness to my life. I picked a really bad partner for marriage and the next few guys were no better.

I wish mothers would sit down and instruct their daughters in how to choose a good life partner. I would have found that so much more valuable than any talk about sex..information which I didn't get either.