Why do most people marry?

[punk-a-doodle]

My parents would have been terrible guides for me to use in choosing a life partner, so I unfortunately do not think it is that easy Beekissed. In fact, my parents actively tried to break myself and my now-husband up through attempting to force doubts (ie. "What makes you think he isn't cheating on you? You should spend this time finding someone else." Um...so by going behind his back, this would help protect me....how?) to bringing me to dinner parties where I awkwardly found out that a 'suitable' match had *cough* been found for me. I find that if seeking love, the pillars that support much of happiness in life all still come into play. Respect. Communication. Trust. Understanding. Sometimes you have to go through a lot of experiences and lessons in life until you stumble upon these things. They usually aren't just there ready to go either, but have to be built and resculpted. It sounds like you have pulled a lot from these past experiences, and that they have helped show you what is really important to you. It sounds like you have really sat down and looked at what your motivations, insecurities, and thoughts at the time were. That's more than many do in a lifetime.

 

[gmendoza]

I told my wife "til death do us part"

She asked me what I will do after death.

I said" Til death do us part. So when I am dead,im parting.I'll date whomever I want!"

 

[Avalon1984]

I told my wife "til death do us part"

She asked me what I will do after death.

I said" Til death do us part. So when I am dead,im parting.I'll date whomever I want!"

Hubby and I are the same way, except for the notion that it will be fun to find each other again, start it all over again and see what happens that time around.

 

[shadowpaints]

i married my first husband after 5 years of living together...he left me after i discovered he was sleeping with 4 of my friends.

my current husband and i met just 10 months after my divorce. it wasnt a love at first sight thing. more like a growing love. we got married 6 months after meeting and he adopted my daughter from my previous marriage.

we married eachother out of love, yes. but it was also the fact that we both needed eachother. many many people were skeptical of our marriage. shawn is 16 years my senior. shawn has a daughter that is just 4 years younger than me. as a married couple we have been through a lot. but it never ceases to amaze me what a marriage can over come!
we have been married for 6 years, and in 2 months we will have known eachother for 7 years.
we welcomed another daughter into our life in october 2005, and in march 2006 i had brain surgery for a brain malformation
shawn has 3 other children from previous relationships i have only met 2 the third lives far away.
shawn has had to learn to be a dad, he was never in his kids lifes, not by his choice, but by the childrens mothers. the mothers would get pregnant and then leave him, and force him to stay away.

shawn puts up a lot with me. first the horses, then the mini horses, then the goats, then the chickens.. oh and the dogs,.... and the fact that i like to help others ,

we have had some hard times, but as it stands now, i love him very much, and we do have a lot to work on considering the last 4 years he has been driving long haul and he has only been home 20 days a year at the most. he has a new job now, and is home every week. its definatly a work in progress.

we hope that now, with him being home we will be able to add the 3rd child that we have been longing for so much!

my hubby and i , even tho he aggravates me, we are soul mates, we have always felt like we have known eachother forever, even on the day we met it was like reuniting with a old friend.
our little family,

 

[annie3001]

I took us forever!! Been dating for 10 years, married now for 7... so total of 17 years ! We got married because we loved each other. We also had a house when we got married, and did the traditional lived with parents first etc.
We didnt have a huge wedding, it was a comfortable size. We simply waited, and after all this time, we are still together. 2 kids later, chickens ducks etc. etc.
WE are in this together.

 

[oesdog]

Well now - for us it was I guess a bit of a whirl-wind!!!!!! I was 17 when I met DH. He took me out on a long walk and said "I think I found the person I want to marry!" We had know each other a week!!! So we got engaged in 3 months, Married in 6 months, and had our first child within the year. I think you learn to love over the years and love doesn't happen straight away. You have to work at love! We have been together near 30 yrs now so I guess we must have learned to love!!!!!!!

Oesdog

 

[nickie]

Well now - for us it was I guess a bit of a whirl-wind!!!!!! I was 17 when I met DH. He took me out on a long walk and said "I think I found the person I want to marry!" We had know each other a week!!! So we got engaged in 3 months, Married in 6 months, and had our first child within the year. I think you learn to love over the years and love doesn't happen straight away. You have to work at love! We have been together near 30 yrs now so I guess we must have learned to love!!!!!!!

Oesdog

You are so right! Marraige is a work in progress, always. We evolve and so does love. You have to work to make it work. You can't go to your job every day with the "I don't need to put my effort in, I've already landed this job" attitude, you get fired doing that.

 

[sourland]

You are so right! Marraige is a work in progress, always. We evolve and so does love. You have to work to make it work. You can't go to your job every day with the "I don't need to put my effort in, I've already landed this job" attitude, you get fired doing that.

Our daughter once told my wife and I that the reason that she and our son were having difficulty finding someone to spend their lives with was because, "Your marriage is so perfect." Elaine and I looked at one another and laughed hysterically. Where had we gone wrong that they did not realize that marriage was work? Marriage is a day by day job. After a certain point it does get easier. Once I learned, "Yes dear. You're right dear. I'm sorry dear." things got a lot easier.

They have since found their mates and our daughter has been married 19 years, our son 17 years, and if we make it until next Wed. the Princess and I will have made 48 years. Work? Yes, but well worth the end result.

 

[nickie]

You are so right! Marraige is a work in progress, always. We evolve and so does love. You have to work to make it work. You can't go to your job every day with the "I don't need to put my effort in, I've already landed this job" attitude, you get fired doing that.

Our daughter once told my wife and I that the reason that she and our son were having difficulty finding someone to spend their lives with was because, "Your marriage is so perfect."  Elaine and I looked at one another and laughed hysterically.  Where had we gone wrong that they did not realize that marriage was work?  Marriage is a day by day job.  After a certain point it does get easier.  Once I learned, "Yes dear.  You're right dear.  I'm sorry dear." things got a lot easier. They have since found their mates and our daughter has been married 19 years, our son 17 years, and if we make it until next Wed. the Princess and I will have made 48 years.  Work?  Yes, but well worth the end result.

 

While I don't have the time under my belt that you do (big congratulations on that) I agree, it is well worth the work and effort. I think my dad gave my husband the "the most important phrases in your life are now..." Speech. Lol.

For better or worse I love my husband and through it all "I still do."

 

[Beekissed]

I must say it is so good to hear of long term marriages and people still being in, and working out, their love after many years together. In today's world, you all are truly an inspiration! So often you hear married folk complaining about their mates, so it is very refreshing to hear from people who can still be proud of who they married.