Why do people have to be so rude?

[Debbie292d]

I think BYC is a respite... a safe-place compared to much of what is out there.

I've been a member for a couple of years but only got much more active these past few months because it's exactly that, a respite to me. I make my stops on the other social media, but make it short and head over here. Much safer-place!

 

[gimmie birdies]

If for example someone says, "l would never use wood chips for newly hatched chicks..." right after someone just posted a pic of newly hatched chicks on wood chips, the person saying that, wasn't saying it to be mean, I would follow up with why? Or tell me more. Wisdom is not always delivered in the manner you expect, but we are all learning and sharing. I think most are great, and people do need to learn the ebb and flow. When I first joined I may have had a dust up with Sumi, but l learned to like her, but now she is gone.

 

[gimmie birdies]

My strong opinions are about how people say I should raise roosters. I am home more than most people spend time with my roosters, and am not attacked. I love the lovey ones, and I leave alone the ones that want to do their own thing. I don't tease them, or have kids that tease them, I don't push them off with a shoe, or a broom, if the come by me I pick them up. I never show fear, and I don't get attacked.
Where I get strong opinions about raising them is when someone says "no roosters should ever be held and loved." Every rooster is different, just as people are different.

 

[sybonbon]

I’ve been seeing this more and more recently.

It’s frustrating that some members on this site choose to engage in meaningless banter meant to demean those who do something differently than them. It clogs up threads, and most irritating is that these members mock those with differing opinions, without offering any reasoning behind their own opinions. They are not interested in a debate/discussion/meeting of minds, they are interested in poking fun. It contributes nothing. This is not a complaint about BYC, purely about people who choose to join it, this is no fault of anyone but those who choose to spew negativity here. Tiptoeing around the rules to get to an acceptable level of bullying seems like effort better spent in virtually any other venture.

Even worse, when you ask some members why they do this they reply with “Nuh uh I didn’t say that I said this” and other forms of lawyering, dodging around the main issue of why bother to reply if you only have negativity to add to the discussion.

Don’t get me wrong, certainly not all posts on this site meaningfully contribute to the discussion. For example User A says “my hen has XYZ issue” and User B replies “I know nothing about this issue, but my sympathy towards you/I hope someone who does know replies/etc”

The difference is, that User B is not being outwardly and purposefully abrasive and rude. You don’t even have to contribute to the discussion, just don’t be obnoxious to the point where you dissuade others from doing so. To those of you who do come on here with that attitude, are you proud that you and your clique of typically 3-5 members find it funny while everyone else finds it bothersome? Get a hobby. I joined this site to ask and answer questions, not bully or poke fun at people.

I have another post a few years ago where I was told my chick was a male and I was not agreeing 100 percent so I was called rude because I did not agree with the BYC experts. Then they trolled me to anywhere I posted and gave me a hard time there. I reported them and was dismissed by the admin. They saw nothing wrong with their actions. I have a few blocked due to their lack of diplomacy.

 

[triciayoung]

My strong opinions are about how people say I should raise roosters. I am home more than most people spend time with my roosters, and am not attacked. I love the lovey ones, and I leave alone the ones that want to do their own thing. I don't tease them, or have kids that tease them, I don't push them off with a shoe, or a broom, if the come by me I pick them up. I never show fear, and I don't get attacked.
Where I get strong opinions about raising them is when someone says "no roosters should ever be held and loved." Every rooster is different, just as people are different.

I just love my roosters. All three have different personalities and I respect this, just like I do the different personalities of my hens. Personally, I think there is much more depth with my roosters than my hens.

 

[triciayoung]

I have another post a few years ago where I was told my chick was a male and I was not agreeing 100 percent so I was called rude because I did not agree with the BYC experts. Then they trolled me to anywhere I posted and gave me a hard time there. I reported them and was dismissed by the admin. They saw nothing wrong with their actions. I have a few blocked due to their lack of diplomacy.

I am sorry.

 

[1cock2hens]

"Online disinhibition effect" its been studied. Look it up.


"Another type of online disinhibition is called toxic disinhibition, which represents an increased tendency towards online flaming and inappropriate behaviors. These often contain hostile language, swearing, and even threats. This norm describes the negative side effect of the loss of inhibition on the cyberspace." From wiki

 

[azurbanclucker]

Without calling out specific people who have responded here, there are responses in this very discussion that perfectly illustrate the issue.

It's not OK to go after other members. It's not OK to be catty and obnoxious. BYC is not the place for vigilante justice and public airing of grievances against other members. Number one, it's against the TOS, and number 2, it makes YOU part of the problem.

If a comment concerns you enough to fire back a response about, the report function works. Staff are always watching and WILL take action if notified.

And, seriously people. It's a chicken forum. Take EVERYTHING with a grain of salt.

 

[charlie1051]

People say things on the internet and on the un-social media, that they would never say directly to someone in-person; if they did, someone might give 'em a knuckle sandwich. We all know that the internet and un-social media enable people to say things without consequence and that it hasn't worked out so well.

And let's face it: a lot of people are jerks nowadays.

It's like we need someone amazing to come along and tell everyone that we need to love each other and think of others before ourselves.

I don't know if ya'll are a friend group but I posted because your title made me think of the song from years ago so I felt led to post. Why you gotta be so rude...don't you know I'm human too...

 

[Nifty-Chicken]

Hey all, I'm moving this thread to a section that is a better fit as this discussion has become more about social behavior, interpersonal dynamics, etc., and less about things that BYC can control.

It's generally impossible to find the perfect balance between:
• Too little moderation - Allowing everyone to say everything
• Too much moderation - Clamping-down and discouraging peep's comfort with expressing their thoughts, feelings, and ideas

That said BYC (and our AMAZING moderation team) has a tremendously incredible track-record for maintaining an incredible balance and overall wonderful place for people to feel comfortable sharing their opinions.

Thanks to everyone who participates in our community in a way that is friendly and respectful, while also trying to maintain a level of patience and empathy while reading the posts of others.