why do people share personal things

[ChickenAlgebra]

Ugh, I do not know. I have kids, there, that is all people need to know.

 

[speckledhen]

What many consider perfectly acceptable chit-chat today, I consider extremely crass and I don't want to hear it. Women telling all sorts of stuff that I'm sure their husbands would be mortified to know they were sharing with casual acquaintances or on the world wide web--to me, that is disrespecting your husband, and vice versa if a husband shares stuff like that about his wife to others. Stuff like that is only for your very best friend, if even then. People share stuff on BYC sometimes that makes me shake my head. Usually, if the title is very telling, I don't even read the first sentence. Rarely even go into the family section because of some of the threads I've seen there. TMI.

I have posted on this thread so am not officially moderating it, but just a heads up; let's please keep this family friendly, okay? Be very careful not to cross that line.

 

[al6517]

Quote:
X2 I whole heartedly agree, if my child needs our attention in times like that, well it trumps all other things bar none. I feel this lady may just lack the social skills and integrity to know the difference in what is acceptable topics of conversation to a mere aquaintance. Unfortunately she probably doesn't even know she embarrased you with her comments and it may escalate as you become closer friends.

 

[MamaRoo]

Quote:
I agree with this. Although I will listen to a friend, if she needs to vent, or otherwise feels like sharing personal info will help her in some, I pretty much do not want to know the details of my friends' lives, and I don't share my own.

 

[chickaddict]

Quote:
x3 child in pain immediately eliminates thoughts of any other kind - including the selfish ones

 

[punk-a-doodle]

When getting a feel for a person I meet, social expectations have never done a thing for me other than be incredibly misleading. Incredibly. I ignore them completely now. I look at the person as a whole and try to get a good understanding of what they are about. Since ignoring what I am told is appropriate or not and instead relying on a mix of gut feelings and observation, I can now get a good feel immediately of whether I will click with someone or not. Almost always turns out to be accurate, and now many of the best people I know are very rough around the edges. But, as long as social norms are how someone personally guides their interactions, then I figure it makes more sense to stop interacting with people they find to be offensive.

Definitely isn't a friendship if there are strong feelings of discomfort (or hey, superiority in some cases I've seen).

Personally, if I find a person to be kind or endearing, I don't care if they talk about what they did last night. I would if it was tied to things that annoy me personally, such as bragging. I definitely don't mind people who are just open, honest, or frank myself. People share personal things for various reasons, just as people who posted have shared their personal views on what is appropriate, and just like how the topic post is a personal story about someone who probably wouldn't be happy to know of this topic. But that is why anonymous forums can be a better place to share personal info, such as about someone who annoyed you or a husband or wife. I don't know who anyone is, and others here probably do not either.

 

[Blackbird]

I agree, she's probably going through a rough time and it lonely. People generally aren't friendly towards the poor, obvious by your comments.

I agree with you Punk-a-doodle, I don't pay much mind to social expectations a whole lot. We all go through/have felt/want&need/ etc. etc. We're pretty much the same when it comes down to it. Not sure what all the secrecy and 'down low' on everything is, or what everyone hides behind. Guess it's not a big deal to me. And I'd imagine talking about personal things with others is rather therapuetic, which I'm guessing is why most people do it.

 

[Elite Silkies]

Sometimes we as mothers have to overlook some parents and do what is best for the child, which is what you done. You have kept that baby from having to endure a great deal of pain. I can set and listen to problems or whatever they want to talk about all day long because I feel that everyone should have someone to talk to at times when they need it the most, but I prefer to listen rather than talk about my personal problems or what goes on in my marriage.

I think if it makes a person uncomfortable, then the other person should respect that and keep personal things to themselves. That is what a therapist is paid to listen to.

 

[MissPrissy]

This woman may be telling you much more than you realized at the moment.

Something isn't right.

She comes to your house BEFORE going home with a child fresh out of the hospital after having surgery/tonsillectomy?

She doesn't have pain medicine for the child? Or doesn't realize 8 hours has passed and the pain meds from the hospital would have worn off?

She would have been given explicit instructions from the doctor and/or nursing staff on what to expect and how to care for the child with detailed instructions for pain management. It is often done as day surgery now but a tonsillectomy can be rough to get through the first couple day. Even worse for an adult.

As far as the intimate details she hinted at she may be telling you she is going home to a place where the child's care (obviously! like a blinking neon sign) will come second in regards to whatever the husband demands of her.

Is this woman emotionally/physically abused?

Since your family befriended she child she may be reaching out to you as a port in a storm. I wouldn't turn her away, I would pull her deeper into my life, but I would not hesitate to look a little deeper and try to determine if she is asking for help because you appear to be a kind and safe harbor for her child.

Think about it ...

 

[MeatKing]

Quote:
Well said, I never would've thought about abuse. But now that you bring it up. She may be in this kind've trouble

Again she's lucky to have you for a friend