Why does no one understand this?

[darkmatter]

I covered this type of topic here:

https://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/viewtopic.php?id=357640

 

[BC Gal]

"How do I erase everything that happened and start over?" - Just do it. Walk in to school like life is great with your head held high, smiling and happy. All kinds of things have happened to everyone over the summer and no one will be focused on what happened in the past.

"how do I keep this from happening again?" - Well, there is a good chance it won't. As people grow up, they tend not act like that because they realise it makes them look like a loser. Girls can be mean. I don't know how old you are, but in grade 8 I got tormented by the "mean girls", but by grade 10, personalities were different and the same girls were trying to repair friendships they had lost because of their behavior.

If you live life joyfully and are always kind to all living things, life will work out best in the long run. You will still go through hardships, everyone does, it is how you handle things that makes the difference.

 

[FluffyColor]

Quote:
The only reason I brought that up first is because I was trying to go in order. Since that the first thing that happened, that's the first thing I brought up. I guess it was more how she acted towards me those months than about the gifts.

You get disappointed in your family too, right? Do you still love them?

I think you gave me great advice. That's who I want to be.

Oh, and I've spent the last seven months worrying my mother is going to have a stroke and die. The post wasn't all about me, and I'm sorry it came across that way!

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I don't know how old you are so I don't know what you have access to, but I know you are on the internet!

There are forums for kids with parents who have cancer. Are there no guidance counselors at your school?? They should be able to hook you up. Most of them require an intro (you can't just jump in - it prevents trolling and stuff.) The other option is to ask at the place where your mother is getting treatment. Almost all cancer treatment centers have support groups both in person and on-line. Ask.

None of the kids you are dealing with understands because they CAN'T understand. And what you are going through scares them, you are reminding them that their own parents could become ill. And they don't know what to say. Kids are mean. When they are uncomfortable with some one they are mean to them. It may not be about you at all. It may be. You need someone else to hear you who DOES understand.
Ask.
Ask and ask again. The worst people can do is say no.

Your dad may be so overwhelmed right now that your needs have escaped him. Ask him what he needs. Tell him what you need.

It is a new school year, do you have what you need? Has anyone helped you get ready?

 

[Royd]

There's a saying that goes something like this,"If everyday, your life is filled with drama, you might want to look in the mirror."

 

[weimarmama]

In about a month it will be 2 yrs since my grandad died. He had had a triple bypass the summer going into my senior year of high school. There were complications, he almost died several times, went into a semi-catatonic state, & was on a ventilator for 30-something days. He had the bypass on May 17th & was finally released from the hospital on July 5th. He couldn't walk, stand, feed himself, & was "talking out of his head" (which is how my grandmother described it). We took him home, got Home Health (which sent out nurses, a nursing asst, & a physical therapist several times a week), & he eventually recovered as much as he could. He could walk again, stand, feed himself, dress himself, etc. He still talked "crazy", & did things that were a little off. He once accused a visiting preacher of getting one of the nurses pregnant & he accused my grandmother of swindling money from him. Those are just two of the many things he did, but it didn't matter because we were just so glad that he was alive. There were so many times we had to laugh at the things he said or did to keep from crying.

He lived for 7 yrs after that. Believe me, there were plenty of medical problems that he experienced during that time. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, prostate cancer, & COPD. He had problems keeping fluid off & went into congestive heart failure more than once. But in those 7 yrs, he met his only living great grandchild & saw him everyday (because my mom & I raised him from 2 mos old until almost 6 yrs old), he met my DF & knew that I had someone to love me, he got to move back out to the country (which had been his dream for yrs), & we took him so many places. Even though he had all of those medical problems, I remember hearing him pray every night & what he said, "Thank you Lord for letting me live through today, now help me make itthrough tomorrow." And he always told us that he wanted to live every second God would let him.

My mother & I lived with my grandparents for most of those 7 yrs taking care of my grandad. I didn't go out with friends or to parties like most people in their late teens & early twenties. Instead, I raised my little cousin & his half-brother & helped my mother with my grandad. I'm not going to deny that there were times when I just wanted to go out to a movie, a party, or a football game; after all I was young. But I couldn't because my mother, my grandmother, & my grandad needed my help. My aunt certainly didn't care to help & neither did my first cousins.

He was really more of a dad to me than my own father. Now, that's he's gone there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss my grandad & I do have regrets. Mainly, I regret every single time that I wanted to go out instead of staying & helping with him & the two boys, but I guess it's natural to feel that way when you're young. It helps me feel better that I didn't do that, though & that I did everything I could to make his life as long as possible & good. And it helps to remember all of the good times that we shared during that time. I even miss the two little cousins since they are back with their dad.

My advice is to do everything to help your parents. They're both under a lot of stress & probably terrified. Think of your time at school as a break from your mother's illness. Join a club, meet new people, let everyone see the true person that you are, & use this new school year as a new beginning. No one else matters but your family & your friends, so cherish every memory you make with them. BTW, just to explain why the one girl was so upset, I played the piccolo & flute & was in marching & concert band for 7 yrs throughout elementary & high school. Instruments usually cost at least a few hundred dollars & are very easily damaged. For that reason, musicians tend to be very territorial over their instruments. I probably would've been angry, too, if you'd hid mine. I wish your mother the best with her cancer & you with school.

 

[TheChickenCameFirst]

Quote:

BTW, I think most people are disappointed in their families for one reason or another... I have been MANY times, but I still love them all DEEPLY!

 

[FluffyColor]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

I don't know how old you are so I don't know what you have access to, but I know you are on the internet!

There are forums for kids with parents who have cancer. Are there no guidance counselors at your school?? They should be able to hook you up. Most of them require an intro (you can't just jump in - it prevents trolling and stuff.) The other option is to ask at the place where your mother is getting treatment. Almost all cancer treatment centers have support groups both in person and on-line. Ask.

None of the kids you are dealing with understands because they CAN'T understand. And what you are going through scares them, you are reminding them that their own parents could become ill. And they don't know what to say. Kids are mean. When they are uncomfortable with some one they are mean to them. It may not be about you at all. It may be. You need someone else to hear you who DOES understand.
Ask.
Ask and ask again. The worst people can do is say no.

Your dad may be so overwhelmed right now that your needs have escaped him. Ask him what he needs. Tell him what you need.

It is a new school year, do you have what you need? Has anyone helped you get ready?

No, I don't have what I need yet. We're going to go school shopping this week though.

There are?? I might have to look into those....

BTW the chicken in your pic looks just like my Florence. The avatar I have now is just a sample until I can find one that looks like her.

Thank you guys for all your support!

I don't critcize her over the gifts, she perfectly understands. I also know material things were the least of the things I asked for that year.

 

[TheChickenCameFirst]

 

[FluffyColor]

Well a few minutes ago my mom had another dizzy spell. She was fine one minute and then she was clutching her head and wheezing. She's fine now. Don't know where that came from.