Does anyone know what she eventually decided to do?
Witnessed A Vandalism CLOSE-UP (UPDATE Post# 116)
- Thread starter Laurajean
- Start date
Wow! Laurajean you did the right thing by not confronting them. On our road they play cowboy--snubbing post in the back of a pickup, lasso the mailbox, pull it out of the ground. Sounds like great fun. I live in a relatively small rural community and the gossip mill is in full force. One morning in the coffee shop I mentioned that I had dug a bunker by my mailbox and was overnighting in it with my shotgun. The cowboys have struck twice since, and my mailbox is unscathed. Probably just jinxed myself.
Quote:
We are mean, horrible, awful parents.
I make it my GOAL to ruin my children's lives in school.
What, a 9 pm curfew on a school night? How awful. 10 pm curfew otherwise, unless special permission is granted? Watch the world faint as I am so strict as to be unbelievable. Yes, the kids DO get special permission, and it's not too hard to get usually. But they have to EARN that trust to get that permission in the first place. What do they need to be doing after dark anyway?
I don't check in on them, THEY are to call ME. Why? Because if they KNOW I'm going to call at x time, they can plot to be doing something quiet. If they have to call me, well then, they best not be up to trouble because they TOLD me what they were doing, then if they get caught doing something else???? Well then you are in trouble for whatever stupid thing you were doing AND for flat out lying to me. Yeah, it's not worth it.
Oh horrors of horrors, my 14 y/o was sent to bed at 7 pm yesterday. She was being whiny and annoying, so clearly she was tired, and didn't need to be up with people. My MIL checked on her at 7:30 and she was asleep.
Yes, my kids do stupid things. I could write a book on the stupid things they've done. But it's things like wrestling in a tree. It's not criminal behavior. They do something stupid, I'll make sure they aren't going to die anytime soon from it, but I'm not going to coddle and baby them, or they don't learn to not be stupid.
And amazingly enough, somewhere in there, my 18 y/o has turned into a fairly reasonable mostly adult. I don't get calls from the school about the kids being horrid.
And asking my 14 y/o, she wants to know WHY someone would smash mailboxes and a fridge. Because she doesn't think it'd be fun.
You are awesome! If more parents did this the world would be a better place. It's hard work to be this involved. Good job.
We are mean, horrible, awful parents.
I make it my GOAL to ruin my children's lives in school.
What, a 9 pm curfew on a school night? How awful. 10 pm curfew otherwise, unless special permission is granted? Watch the world faint as I am so strict as to be unbelievable. Yes, the kids DO get special permission, and it's not too hard to get usually. But they have to EARN that trust to get that permission in the first place. What do they need to be doing after dark anyway?
I don't check in on them, THEY are to call ME. Why? Because if they KNOW I'm going to call at x time, they can plot to be doing something quiet. If they have to call me, well then, they best not be up to trouble because they TOLD me what they were doing, then if they get caught doing something else???? Well then you are in trouble for whatever stupid thing you were doing AND for flat out lying to me. Yeah, it's not worth it.
Oh horrors of horrors, my 14 y/o was sent to bed at 7 pm yesterday. She was being whiny and annoying, so clearly she was tired, and didn't need to be up with people. My MIL checked on her at 7:30 and she was asleep.
Yes, my kids do stupid things. I could write a book on the stupid things they've done. But it's things like wrestling in a tree. It's not criminal behavior. They do something stupid, I'll make sure they aren't going to die anytime soon from it, but I'm not going to coddle and baby them, or they don't learn to not be stupid.
And amazingly enough, somewhere in there, my 18 y/o has turned into a fairly reasonable mostly adult. I don't get calls from the school about the kids being horrid.
And asking my 14 y/o, she wants to know WHY someone would smash mailboxes and a fridge. Because she doesn't think it'd be fun.
You are awesome! If more parents did this the world would be a better place. It's hard work to be this involved. Good job.
I think what bothers me about this is story is the violence these "kids" showed. Yes, they were beating up mailboxes and that is common juvenile type mischief, but these kids seemed to take it way farther than what other kids do which is to drive down the road hitting them with a bat as they pass one. These kids beat these mailboxes to a pulp, over and over. That's a little disturbing to me. What if they came across a stray dog? The way they were behaving, I wouldn't doubt that they would have turned their aggressions to anything in their path....including LauraJean. The fact that this women lay hiding in fear for her life speaks volumes.
I agree with another poster that said that if they get away with just a little punishment, they will be so proud of the fact that they "beat the system" and possibly be ramped up to do it again.
They need real life consequences...maybe not a federal crime, but definitely something that will get their attentions and make them remember this for a long long time.
and seriously...what's a 14 year old doing out a 3am? I highly doubt the parents will be the ones to exact proper punishment, they obviously don't take parenting seriously.
I agree with another poster that said that if they get away with just a little punishment, they will be so proud of the fact that they "beat the system" and possibly be ramped up to do it again.
They need real life consequences...maybe not a federal crime, but definitely something that will get their attentions and make them remember this for a long long time.
and seriously...what's a 14 year old doing out a 3am? I highly doubt the parents will be the ones to exact proper punishment, they obviously don't take parenting seriously.
I was thinking that also. What IS a 14 yr old doing out at 3 am, and with 18 yr olds too!
- Thread starter
- #116
Okay! Sorry to keep you all in the dark after my first post but yesterday was VERY hectic and I never sat down once until bed. I have a couple updates for you all. By the way, thanks for all the various input. Here's what's happened since my post:
The officer had told me that night that the kids would be there, and I quote: "Bright and early" the next morning to replace all the mailboxes, so that "the victims wouldn't miss that days' mail". So the plan was to replace the boxes no matter what, and then we had to decide whether we wanted further action. Well, next day came and I waited until the afternoon to go down and check out these new mailboxes. On my walk down, I run into one of my neighbors. Now some of you who may remember my Small Town thread may recall that some of my neighbors are a little whacked in my opinion, but there are a couple of ones that I really do trust. So this neighbor is one of them. He's highly respected in this town, simply for being an all around good guy, and has lived here his whole life. He has two kids, 14 and 22. So I stop and chat with him. He says he saw the damage that morning, I tell him about how I was actually there for it, etc. Then I tell him what the officer told me about whether replacing them is good enough or if we should press charges. I ask him his opinion (especially because he knows everyone so well in this town and I do not). He tells me this awful story about how a few years ago, when he wasn't home, 2 teenage boys went to his garage, bashed in all the windshields of his cars, started the tractor and drove it onto a stump, broke into his garage and stole his tools and trashed his garage. He says instead of court, they did this "mediation", which was intended to come to a compromise so that the boys could avoid charges. He said the mediator offered 20 hours community service for the two boys combined, that's 10 hours each, plus financial restitution. My neighbor said he wouldn't accept anything less than 80 hours EACH for them, plus financial restitution, and so it was arranged.
Then he tells me that one boys parents completely disregarded it and never paid him a penny and never made the boy do any of the community service, and that the other kid did about 15 hours of service, and they paid a couple hundred bucks, and then blew off the rest of the service and restitution. So he said he has ZERO confidence in the local parents, and that this is why the youth around here get away with so much. I say, "Oh, well that's just great, guess I have a lot to think about.... guess I'll at least go see the new mailboxes". He looks at me and laughs and says "there's no new mailboxes, you really thought they would come out and replace them?" So now I'm pretty mad and I walk down and look and sure enough, no new mailboxes, same mangled ones lying on the ground, stand nearly tipped over, and of course no mail for that day.
So now I'm feeling like quite the sucker that I was even pondering this decision at all. I walk back to the house and call the station. I speak to the Sergeant and ask where our new mailboxes are. He says, "oh, yeah. That plan's been cancelled. They're going to court." I ask why, and he tells me that since the night before, they received SIXTEEN other reports from THREE surrounding towns, and several witnesses that it was them. Various damage, not just mailboxes. Mailboxes, the fridge I mentioned, several car windshields were bashed in, lawn statues broken, rocks through house windows, etc. He said the accumulated damage was now so high that they're sending them straight to court to be charged, no more negotiating option.
Okay, I'm thinking. At this point I'm glad they're being charged since they obviously went on a vicious rampage across three towns that night. But then I ask about my mailboxes. He says they are not going to replace them. I ask why not. He says because they're going to court "instead". I ask what he means "instead", why can't they still come out and replace the darn mailboxes?" He says because he told them to stay away from our property. I say, "This is ridiculous. Our homes aren't even near the mailboxes, they're at the end of the road. They should still have to replace them!" He says nope, that's not happening, and that I can save the receipt to my new mailbox, put it up myself, "hope" one of my other neighbors rebuilds the stand, and submit my receipt for the court date to be lumped in with all the other damage costs. I say "So that basically means I'll never see that money" and he didn't say anything.
So they're all going to court on tons of charges. Eighteen total complaints (our mailboxes, the fridge plus 16 other complaints) and that's not even all the damages, that's just the number of people who called the police. Some of them have multiple things damaged. And no mailboxes. Now I'm not getting any mail, I have to go buy a new mailbox and hope one of my neighbors decides to rebuild the stand (I can't do it, it will require more work than I can physically do alone.) So I'm glad they are going to face charges for all this destruction, especially now that I know it's WAY more than a few mailboxes, but I have to admit that I'm peeved that the police just blew off having them replace our boxes. And I'm also disturbed at what my neighbor said about most of the local parents not bothering to hold their kids accountable for anything.
Sigh... well, that's the latest.
The officer had told me that night that the kids would be there, and I quote: "Bright and early" the next morning to replace all the mailboxes, so that "the victims wouldn't miss that days' mail". So the plan was to replace the boxes no matter what, and then we had to decide whether we wanted further action. Well, next day came and I waited until the afternoon to go down and check out these new mailboxes. On my walk down, I run into one of my neighbors. Now some of you who may remember my Small Town thread may recall that some of my neighbors are a little whacked in my opinion, but there are a couple of ones that I really do trust. So this neighbor is one of them. He's highly respected in this town, simply for being an all around good guy, and has lived here his whole life. He has two kids, 14 and 22. So I stop and chat with him. He says he saw the damage that morning, I tell him about how I was actually there for it, etc. Then I tell him what the officer told me about whether replacing them is good enough or if we should press charges. I ask him his opinion (especially because he knows everyone so well in this town and I do not). He tells me this awful story about how a few years ago, when he wasn't home, 2 teenage boys went to his garage, bashed in all the windshields of his cars, started the tractor and drove it onto a stump, broke into his garage and stole his tools and trashed his garage. He says instead of court, they did this "mediation", which was intended to come to a compromise so that the boys could avoid charges. He said the mediator offered 20 hours community service for the two boys combined, that's 10 hours each, plus financial restitution. My neighbor said he wouldn't accept anything less than 80 hours EACH for them, plus financial restitution, and so it was arranged.
Then he tells me that one boys parents completely disregarded it and never paid him a penny and never made the boy do any of the community service, and that the other kid did about 15 hours of service, and they paid a couple hundred bucks, and then blew off the rest of the service and restitution. So he said he has ZERO confidence in the local parents, and that this is why the youth around here get away with so much. I say, "Oh, well that's just great, guess I have a lot to think about.... guess I'll at least go see the new mailboxes". He looks at me and laughs and says "there's no new mailboxes, you really thought they would come out and replace them?" So now I'm pretty mad and I walk down and look and sure enough, no new mailboxes, same mangled ones lying on the ground, stand nearly tipped over, and of course no mail for that day.
So now I'm feeling like quite the sucker that I was even pondering this decision at all. I walk back to the house and call the station. I speak to the Sergeant and ask where our new mailboxes are. He says, "oh, yeah. That plan's been cancelled. They're going to court." I ask why, and he tells me that since the night before, they received SIXTEEN other reports from THREE surrounding towns, and several witnesses that it was them. Various damage, not just mailboxes. Mailboxes, the fridge I mentioned, several car windshields were bashed in, lawn statues broken, rocks through house windows, etc. He said the accumulated damage was now so high that they're sending them straight to court to be charged, no more negotiating option.
Okay, I'm thinking. At this point I'm glad they're being charged since they obviously went on a vicious rampage across three towns that night. But then I ask about my mailboxes. He says they are not going to replace them. I ask why not. He says because they're going to court "instead". I ask what he means "instead", why can't they still come out and replace the darn mailboxes?" He says because he told them to stay away from our property. I say, "This is ridiculous. Our homes aren't even near the mailboxes, they're at the end of the road. They should still have to replace them!" He says nope, that's not happening, and that I can save the receipt to my new mailbox, put it up myself, "hope" one of my other neighbors rebuilds the stand, and submit my receipt for the court date to be lumped in with all the other damage costs. I say "So that basically means I'll never see that money" and he didn't say anything.
So they're all going to court on tons of charges. Eighteen total complaints (our mailboxes, the fridge plus 16 other complaints) and that's not even all the damages, that's just the number of people who called the police. Some of them have multiple things damaged. And no mailboxes. Now I'm not getting any mail, I have to go buy a new mailbox and hope one of my neighbors decides to rebuild the stand (I can't do it, it will require more work than I can physically do alone.) So I'm glad they are going to face charges for all this destruction, especially now that I know it's WAY more than a few mailboxes, but I have to admit that I'm peeved that the police just blew off having them replace our boxes. And I'm also disturbed at what my neighbor said about most of the local parents not bothering to hold their kids accountable for anything.
Sigh... well, that's the latest.
Wow, our tax dollars at work! I wonder, have they checked into any "roadkill" along the path of these "kids'" destruction? Or checked into public property along the way? Did they check for drugs or alcohol? Hard telling how much they actually accomplished. They apparentlly had all night to run amuck. I'm so glad you remained tucked away! Good luck, sorry that you are left with replacing your own mailbox!
That's terrible. You will probably never see any money for your mailbox. If you really want to make an impact make sure you are listed as a witness on the police report so you can testify in court. If It's going that route you have a right to be at sentencing and describe your feelings and fear when you witnessed this. You just have to decide how much energy you want to put into this, sometimes it's easier to move on and just replace the mailbox. (maybe a sympathetic neighbor can help you, or just ask around town). Good luck to you, at least the decision is out of your hands. You have a good heart.
- Apr 19, 2011
- 264
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That is rotten! I hope you can testify as a witness as well.
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