wives/fiances/girlfriends: any advice for getting my BF to finish coop

[Guitartists]

Mine's not really inclined to build things

I'd love to go out there and do it myself.... but I always have a toddler with me and lack half of the necessary tools

But, You'd be surprised what you can do with a hand saw, mixed up nails, a hammer and zip ties! LMAO

 

[Fudgie]

NewChickenMom, Maybe we all need to make a road trip and have a weekend coop-finishing party! No one will get mad and the dern thing will be built. years ago that is what neighbors did right!!!! Of course you are 4 hours away from me but hey, I might need a vacation! LOL

 

[CityChook]

oh my, this is such a great thread... We had never built ANYTHING before, so the coop was a whole new experience at our house. Here's my advice from a city girl who's been married for 15 years...

1. Make sure that you are out there helping him, even if it's just moral support. If I can build a coop, then sista, ANYONE can do this. I ruined many manicures over the 4 months that it took to build our coop/run. And I actually had fun while learning how build something. We really didn't know what we were doing, so we made the mistakes together and laughed about it over beers at the end of the day. There's no reason that this can't be a communal project. If that doesn't work and the manipulation route becomes necessary:

2. Make sure ALL materials are on hand. Gather his power tools and start setting up. My DH goes nuts when I touch his tools (okay, get your mind out of the gutter all of you) and will come running.... if that doesn't work:

3. Find yourself another (preferably) single, capable man and cook him your best dinner in exchange for the labor. I'm an old married biddy, but I could tap into testosterone-fueled labor in a matter of 2-3 phone calls. If that doesn't work:

4. Get estimates from a contractor. The only thing my DH hates more than the project is paying someone else to do it.

BTW, Clay in Iowa - I like your response best of all!

This is a NO-NAG zone. It doesn't work. And coops can take a long time to build if you want it done right, so give your guy a break. But here's some food for thought: A man who can't finish his projects might not be a keeper.... JMO

 

[BeardedChick]

But here's some food for thought: A man who can't finish his projects might not be a keeper....

No kidding! That comment is on the nose...​

 

[Leah-yes I know I'm crazy]

Quote:
No kidding! That comment is on the nose...

Will pass that info on to my 19 yo daughter. Well stated and true.

 

[freemotion]

Hey, Manipulation 101 was written to be FUNNY....I love my husband, he helps me and I help him. We just don't always have the same timetable or priority on when we want something done! Neither of us is fooled when the other "manipulates" to get something we want from the other. We recognize the game and actually enjoy it.

Men and women are different, and when I began to celebrate the differences rather than whine about them, I was MUCHO happier!

If either of us is neglecting completing an important project, it usually means we are stressed, overwhelmed, or overfaced. A little friendly "manipulation" can also mean "I'm here to help, even though I don't know how, let's try to get this done together." As long as it is not done in a demeaning way.

My honey is out walking the dog, usually my job, as I am a little under the weather. I did not ask him. I hinted.....boy it's cold out there today, I really don't feel up to walking you today....said to the dog. Waited an hour. Seems to be his timetable for "coming up with the idea" himself. He gets genuine thank you's and I am cooking his favorite, a big batch of devilled eggs (he's easy to please!)

Smooches to my DH and all good DH's out there. Bet there would be a lot more happy couples if women would wake up and praise more and whine less. We have tremendous power. Oh, and hubby's need to feel needed. So don't get TOO independant, although I, too, love to build things. He brags about me to everyone who will listen.....

That brings me to Manipulation 201: Brag about him often, within his earshot. For any little thing. Exaggerate if you must at first. It works wonders. For me, too. Makes me want to do more for him. Hmmmm.....

 

[Sunny Side Up]

I've built all my coops by myself. If I waited for Mister, I wouldn't have any poultry. He's not a handy man, and it's too much effort to try to change him now.

Instead, I'm teaching my boys to be handy men. To use tools correctly and to build and fix things. It's great now that my teen is bigger & stronger than I am, he can do the heavy lifting now.

My second-favorite option is to invite other adults over and make it a construction party. Some make/provide the food, others do the work together. Many hands make light work! Or lots of disagreements about how best to get it done! Either way, it'll be entertaining...

 

[redhen]

tell him you are going to have to hire someone to do it..that usually embarasses them enough to get busy..

 

[CityChook]

Freemotion - I hope you don't think I was dissing you. I was not. We ladies have to use manipulation (in many forms) at times. And anyone who says they don't isn't exactly being truthful, IMO.

Hey, are there any other more manipulative folk on the face of the planet than our own kiddos? And it works, too, doesn't it? And we still love 'em, even tho sometimes we want to flush 'em down the ol' potty...

 

[omelette'smom]

My DH has learned over the years to come running when I start to do CONSTRUCTION! I always try to do things on my own at first and he has to bail me out! It's a comedy of errors because I always do the "It's good enough" theory! I don't use levels or tape measures! He has this awesome nail-gun and I feel POWERFUL when I use the darn thing! He sees me trotting through the yard with that and he drops everything he's doing or thought of doing and will OFFER his assistance! This leads to "let me do that for you" and before I know it, I'm having a cup of tea and he's doing the project I asked him to do way back when!