Women, How To Handle A Compliment

[Rosalind]

You know, this thread got me thinking--is it because women (well, girls really) do that horrible snarky thing with compliments as teenagers? "Oh, Priscilla, what a LURVELY dress, did you sew it out of your own potato sack?!?!?!?" *snorfle giggle giggle snorfle*

This actually happened to me fairly recently: DH and I went to his high school reunion, and one of the women whom DH identified as one of the super-chic popular girls in high school did that big sarcastic, "Wow, what a creative dress you've got there!" DH, having absolutely no sensitivity whatsoever to women's subtle interactions, said, "yeah, she made it herself!" Chickie (a grown woman in her 40s, ferthaluvvagawd!) does this eyeroll straight out of Heathers and exclaims, "HOOOLY S*#! You should be on darn PROJECT RUNWAY!" and then flips her hair and goes back to gossiping with her fellow popular girls.

Gee, thanks Heather, I'll just go back to my croquet game now. But what on earth, a middle-aged woman still feels the pathetic need to snot off at someone she has never met before and likely will never see again? And I know old ladies my mother works with who pull the same sort of snotty behavior at her--"Oh, Mrs. Ros, you've got such great confidence! I could never let myself gain weight like you do, I'm just not that secure!" Seriously, 70-year-old ladies who say this nonsense!

My grandmother claimed it taught women modesty. I dunno about that, because the same women who dish out the backhanded compliments can never seem to mind their own drawers properly.

 

[deb1]

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Ah yes. It always surprises me when I hear women my age or older act like little snots. What the heck do they get out of doing that? Does it make them feel good?

Men often do not get the subtlety of female nastiness.

There were nasty women in Jane Austen's books also. Strange that this type of behavior has existed so long. I guess there was a cave woman, rolling her eyes and making fake compliments to another cave woman.

 

[Southernbelle]

When I get compliments, I usually smile big and say thank you, but I do blush like crazy, though, especially if the compliment came from a guy.

I try to give compliments as often as I can, they never hurt and I hope it gives that person a smile. I do get frustrated when the other person starts putting themselves down - doesn't stop me from giving more compliments anyway.

 

[Benelli]

I don't get those snarky comments to my face. Could it be I'm 5'10", normally have heels on and my nickname is "Tackleberry"?

 

[WriterofWords]

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Just remember: "Well bless your heart! Did you forget your spectacles Sweetie? I noticed you having to squint there!"

 

[Boyd]

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I suppose you blush especially when somebody talks about southern accentS?

 

[Southernbelle]

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I suppose you blush especially when somebody talks about southern accentS?

Round here EVERYONE has a Southern accent, so mine's not that special. But all my Yankee friends of recent months seem to be facinated by it and YES y'all make me blush.

Like now.

 

[SunnyDawn]

I used to do this! Then I heard someone talking, on the radio, about how to overcome shyness. They said that when someone compliments you on your outfit and you reply, "This old thing! Oh my, no. It was in the back of my closet and I didn't get to the dry cleaner in time or I would have never worn it..." that you are actually insulting the person who gave you the compliment by telling then their opinion is wrong or that they have terrible taste! The only correct response when you don't know what to say is "Thank you". Once I got the hang of simply saying Thank you, it got easier and easier to reply much more naturally and even expand on that answer. Baby steps work if you are mortified when someone compliments you. Just practice "Thank you!"

Rosalind, I think it's awesome that your hubby was so proud of you that he bragged about you having made the dress you wore! His opinion counts a lot more that some overgrown Barbie doll anyway! I'm so glad I don't deal with women like that where I live/work! I can't think of anyone I know, over thirty, that would make such a silly comment! I would have burst out laughing saying "Oh my gosh you sound just like a little teenie bopper! Do it again! That was hilarious!" Hmmm. Come to think of it, that may be why women don't make those kind of comments to me!

 

[Boyd]

Quote:
I suppose you blush especially when somebody talks about southern accentS?

Round here EVERYONE has a Southern accent, so mine's not that special. But all my Yankee friends of recent months seem to be facinated by it and YES y'all make me blush.

Like now.

 

[debilorrah]

I have a hard time believing people when they tell me I look almost 20 years younger than I am. I have a mirror. Boyd!