Worried about my 7 year old daughter...

[mrbstephens]

My son is just turning 6 and is slowing become a master of lying. He hasn't figured out how to make up stories like your daughter yet, but wow is she imaginative! Maybe you could sit with her and allow her to make up new stories that are more on a possitive note. You could do the recording for her and then read it back to her. It may be that she just likes to tell stories. She could be a writer or an actor one day. I'm sorry that she's causing anxiety, but she may also like the reactions that she's getting from you. She's probably testing herself to see just how convincing she can be with her story telling. Good luck!

 

[suburbanminifarm]

I have a 7 y.o. DD too. She does not do this, but you have my sincere sympathy although I can't think of anything brilliant to advise you with. I think she's very creative and is using it for attention. Like nancysmith2 said, ignoring would be more powerful than negative attention since that is still attention!
If it were me, I'd call her doctor's office and ask them. Or, ask in the school office (I assume she's in 2nd grade?) and ask for an appt with the district psychologist. Again, I am no expert and I don't know if the school would help you but I suspect it's worth a try.
You are a good mom for worrying about her.

 

[redhen]

Jenna,
She really does have a wild imagination! And that can be a good thing!
But she REALLY needs to learn its not acceptable to make up stories and pass them along as truth... Making up stories is one thing(thats a sign of a healthy imagination...)..telling people that they are the truth is another thing...
also...the story she told to get you upset and get you in a panic attack...sounds like something serious to me..thats not a normal thing for a child to do..so you are right to have some concerns at this point.

I might try to..sit her down and explain to her that you know shes been telling fibs and making up stories...but that it isnt acceptable to do that and try to pass it off as the truth... tell her that she is so smart and has a great imigination and that you proud of her for that...BUT lying is NOT good and it is NOT allowed in your house....and she will be punished every time you catch her at it..(and you HAVE to follow through with punishment EVERY time so she really understands that you are VERY serious about this..)
Tell her that you will make a deal with her...when she gets the urge to tell her grand stories that ,
1: you will sit down right away with her and listen to her great story..(then you can tell her what a great imgination she has..and praise her for not turning it into a lie)
2: Get her a pretty girly (or whatever shes interested in) journal and tell her this is HER special place to write down her stories.. But that if she gets caught lying and making up stories as truth that she will get punished very severly for it...(i.e. take away what she loves the most...etc...)
3: since it seems she likes to tell her stories out-loud by talking... could you get her a cheap little voice recorder thing.. ..and again..tell her that this is HER special place/thing to record her great stories... but again..if she gets caught lying...she gets punished.

Good luck sweetie!

 

[Jamsoundsgood]

My seven-year old son has a wild imagination too. He always has. I've always looked at it as a positive though. I think that there is a difference in story telling and lying. The first, where she was telling you about what happens to her at night while everyone is sleeping seems more like story telling to me. It's similar to my son's "tree-house" where he can do pretty much anything I don't let him do. It's all fantasy, but it's real enough in his imagination. I don't punish him for those stories. I usually just respond with a non-committal "that sounds interesting" or "umm-hmm." When your daughter denied spraying juice on the bed, that was lying. That would be punishable. Laying the blame on someone else, or avoiding punishment by telling a story is lying. I'm not sure if I'm very clear in how I differentiate between the two, but I don't think your daughter is lying when she tells those stories, and I don't think it should be discouraged. Just think of all the crazy stories that the great writers and playwrites, or I guess in our days, movie directors and screen writers, told their mothers when they were seven!

 

[kezabel]

Quote:
Yeah even taking her to the doctor might make her think about what she is doing, But you must admit she has a great imagination

 

[babylady4]

Lie right back to her.

Tell her you are going out for ice cream..... and then don't.

Tell her you bought her (insert wanted item), then don't produce it.

Tell her you are going to disneyworld.......


Maybe this kind of education is what she needs. She will not like getting lied to herself.....

Her imagination is amazing though, she should be writing these stories down. Emphasis on STORY.

A doc evaluation would not hurt either.

I have a middle child who thinks acting sightly wacko at school is a good idea.... gets her attention (the kids call her crazy) but she is growing out of it.......

 

[PineBurrowPeeps]

Quote:
I am NOT about to break the trust she has in me to try and get a point across. I feel like that could backfire on a parent- "Well Mom lied to me about this so lying must be okay!"
I appreciate your advice, it's just not for me.

She is homeschooled, as are all my kids, so I'm the school

Her imagination really is something...

I appreciate all of the great ideas and advice guys. Really

 

[kagedgoddess]

ok so i had a repsonse but my Baby just hit some button and erased it all!!!! my brother tells stories like this too, we did everything we could. we called him on it, mom punished him, etc. well nothing worked and at almost 30 he still does it. he cant function in society, he only has a job cuz he s in the military. and now that hes an adult he can get violently angry when you call him on these "stories" . my advice is to get her in counseling. it cant hurt. my brother was also the middle child, and he had ADD and i was told once that add kids tend to make up weird stories, so our case might not be your case. but this does not seem to be normal 7yo behavior.
good luck and

 

[onthespot]

I was thinking about this last night, about the making up stories to teach her about telling the truth, and decided that maybe there would be tremendous merit in making up stories with her, and making sure everyone was on board that it was make believe, sort of to practice doing make believe so she can learn it as a skill. We all deal in reality and outside of reality all of the time, maybe she just needs help with how and when. Plus the extra attention and close time of making up stories and having fun may help put her psyche back where it was before. I am NOT saying her psyche is out of whack, I'm just saying maybe playing at make beleive with her might help her to know when and where.

 

[grandmaof5]

erm...just one thing in addition to others' opinions; she DID have to do the laundry on that bed, didn't she? Logical consequence to her behaviour...I'd even take it a step further. Since you weren't feeling well, and she caused MORE laundry, she should do it ALL today.

I like the idea of her writing her 'stories' down, too. A few days later, read it to her out loud and ask her if she believes it or is it a 'made-up' story, like a novel.