Worst cooking experience

[4 luv of eggs]

This one really wasn't my fault (no really). I made one of those packaged macaroni and cheese dinners....you know...the one that's advertised by a big, talking, white glove. When we went to eat it, it looked a little hazy sitting in the pan. When I got down to eye level to take another look I saw it was furry. The darned package was infested with rodent hair (hubby had worked in quality control at a spice company and could identify it). It took years before I ate that product again. Sometimes convenience wins out.

 

[DuckLady]

Quote:

 

[Pelican49]

This is more a case of stupidity than anything. I always knew my Father-in-law was an idiot,

but anyway.

At the time I was probably 30, my FIL was 56 and my darling MIL had been deceased for a couple years. So... he calls me one day saying he's hungry for Mom's spaghetti. To please her I tell him to come over that night and I'll fix it. No, he wants to do it, just tell him how. This has bad written all over it, but okay. So I give him detailed instructions slowly while he writes it down.

He calls that night yelling and cussing at me (typical). It's all my fault, I told him something wrong because his noodles were too crunchy. Huh? So I asked how long he cooked the noodles and he says I'm stupid because I didn't tell him he had to cook the noodles first. Ummm, what?

My MIL fixed spaghetti every couple weeks. In 30+ years of marriage he never noticed the noodles in their bowl were cooked noodles? Stupid stupid me.
----------

There was also a time he saw bananas on sale really cheap, so he bought 30 pounds. Of course the stupid stupid woman at the store didn't tell him they'd go bad before he ate them. <sigh>

 

[ranchhand]

Quote:
Ohhhhhhkay

I don't know that even convenience will win that battle for me now.

 

[ranchhand]

Quote:

OH MY!

 

[4 luv of eggs]

Quote:
Ohhhhhhkay

I don't know that even convenience will win that battle for me now.

It was probably 15 years later. I figured by then they had gotten an exterminator.

 

[mandelyn]

My husband makes his own spaghetti sauce, and I figured, if he can do it, surely I can. One of his special ingredients is Apple Vinegar. Long story short, you better use that stuff VERY sparingly.

I wanted to make Apple Pie, I had lot's of apples on their last couple of days of goodness. I get everything all ready, dough made from scratch, glaze working on the apples... get ready to put it into a pan.

Ooops, I don't have any pie pans. Alright, what do I have? Cupcake pans! Surely a tart wouldn't be that hard. Apparently, tarts have a different style of crust. By the time they were done, they had no flavor and were mostly made up of crust. Mini apple pies are not the same as their larger counterparts in actual pie pans.

I had this friend staying with me. She had gone to and graduated from Culinary school. I had high hopes in her dinner skills. Well.... there's a reason she only ever worked in sandwich shops I guess. There was a problem with EVERY meal she touched.

Spaghetti... noodles with salt. Lot's of salt.

Biscuits and gravy.... store bought biscuits with liquid gravy with too much pepper and no other flavor.

Tuna helper... comes with instructions! WAAAAY salty.

Pesto chicken salad. Runny! How does that happen?

Beef and potatoes in the crock pot. No brainer, right? 14 hours later... meat was still tough as could be and it was... guess what... Salty!! VERY salty. How does one put enough salt into that much water to get that level of salinity??

Too many more to list.

You know those days when you know you need to go shopping but you really don't feel like it, so you start throwing stuff together? I had great success with my Italian Pesto Chinese Fried Rice dish. Had some mixed rice, cooked that, rolled it around in a skillet with butter to "Americanize" it. Had creamy pesto sauce mix, made that. Instead of using the Olive Oil that I was out of, I used two Garlic Butter packs from pizza orders earlier in the week. Had Tomato and Onion... chopped them up fine. Had Vegan hotdogs that were AWFUL by themselves. Chopped them up TINY. Threw that into a skillet with some spices and garlic. Had 8 extra eggs that needed used... whipped them into the veggies and chopped it up fine. Added that mess to the rice, poured the sauce in, stirred it up, threw it on a plate, topped with Mexican Cheese. OMG was it good. My husband talked about it for 2 hours afterwards. Looked like a hot mess though. It was SO not healthy either by the time I was done with it.

But everyone knows the key to most restaurants is LOTS of butter.

 

[annageckos]

First, my cousin. She was making mac and cheese. Put the mac in the water and then decided to take a shower. Well, 45minutes later ended up with a pot of blackened, hard mac noddles, burnt into the pot. For me, I had a burner burst into flames once. Not sure why. It was at some crappy apartments I lived at. Nothing worked right, and maintenance was a joke. Then once the oven burner (it was electric) caught on fire. One little white/blue flame. I had to use the fire extinguisher on it. Ruined everything with white powdery stuff. Went out to eat that night. Took maintenance over a month to 'fix' it.

 

[Carolyn]

50 yrs ago story with warning label THIS IS GROSS!

I had a very elegant older friend when we were in our teens and this is her story. Her mother was canning a pressure cooker full of chitterlings. (not something I eat but they are actually pig intestines that are later sliced, battered and fried)! Her mom had to leave at the point where the pressure was rising to the processing level and she instructed said friend on watching the gauge carefully, turning the heat down and timing the process as well as carefully monitering the pressure gauge. Mother left and my friend got a phone call. The next thing she knew the pressure canner exploded with glass, chitterlings and a gross mess all over the kitchen including the ceiling. Kinda impossible to clean a mess like that up before mom gets home!!!!!

BTW they manufacture much safer pressure canners these days.

 

[Carolyn]

I told one on my friend now here are mine:

Most recently I made some chilli and since I had lots of chilli peppers from the garden, I didn't use much chilli powder. However I wanted it to taste like my normal chilli so I added cumin and paparika which are ingredients in chilli powder. It tasted way off. I figured out SMOKED paparika has an entirely different taste than sweet paparika.


This one happened in home ec class in high school. I had been cooking a long time and made A's in home ec (nomally). We were cooking our test meal which was like our final. My job was to make the "Never Fail Carmel Frosting" for a cake. Instead I made the "Wanna bet? I can't carmelize sugar goop". That was with repeated attempts. My teacher watched me and couldn't figure out how I messed it up. I never learned to carmelize sugar until 45 yrs later when I found out my new hubby's favorite cake was Burnt Sugar Cake and I got on the internet and found a pictorial.

This thread has provided some neat comic relief for me!!!!!