Would my chicken intentionally kill me if he weighed 300 lb instead...

[lotzahenz]

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Just because he'd want to eat you, no animosity in most chickens, just the will to survive.

 

[melodym78]

Be afraid.....be VERY AFRAID

! I could not help but think it would seek revenge

for all those chicken lives scarificed at Tyson, Purdue, KFC's, Churches Fried Chickens, Popeye's and last but not LEAST......MC NUGGETS!

 

[SycolinWoodsChickens]

And will they murmur amongst themselves....

"That's funny. Wasn't expecting that she would taste like chicken."

 

[Linn Bee]

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Oh, my! Are those the kind of stories your chickens whisper to you? I fear I'd have nightmares after a few stories like that. Ew!

 

[Linn Bee]

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And now you worry that you'll drown in it?
Kind of why I've always been glad cows and elephants are land animals. Imagine a 300 pound chicken flying overhead.

 

[gryeyes]

A few months into my chickening life, it was really rainy. Where I lived the soil was that horrible adobe stuff, hard as granite when dry and slicker 'n snot when wet. By that time, I already had two coops in the yard. So I was moving from one to the other to fill feeders and waterers and WHOOPS! slipped and landed on my back in the muck.

Whilst I was thinking about what had just happened, not very clearly, the flock (at that time it was only 8 chickens) came to see what was going on.

My glasses were askew on my face. Suddenly, Buffy the Vampire Slaying Orpington was atop my chest and peering into my face. Other pullets were gathering. A couple pecked curiously at my clothing. Buffy buh-bawked and leaned forward to peck at the bridge of my glasses.

After I got my fat butt and all attached parts up out of the mud, I resolved to set down concrete pavers. Otherwise, the next similar experience might not turn out so positively.

Now, with a flock of over fifty birds, I live in a different location and the soil turns to mud when it rains. Nice mushy mud that squooshes up the sides of my shoes or boots instead of launching me forward or backward into the perfect main course position.

I feel safer.

 

[NC ChickenKate]

If you have ever visited an ostrich ranch you will notice the fencing (usually chain link 8 ft. tall) is set up off the ground by about 18 to 24 inches. The reason being that when a crazed ostrich comes at you (and they are all pretty much living on the razor's edge of insanity) you can hit the ground and roll under the fence to the other side.
Don't ask me what you do if another big bird is waiting for you on the other side...ostrich ranchers don't have a good answer for that.
I would guess a 300 lb. chicken would have a problem getting through a normal gate or under fencing so all chicken yards would have to be re designed for the new standard of human safety...and new roasting pans, and new frying pans...
OH MY GOD! Think of all the new manufacturing jobs 300 lb. chicken would create!!!
I nominate you for President!!

 

[Yay Chicks!]

Awesome thread!

 

[theoldchick]

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Buffy had every intention of taking off your glasses so you couldn't see to escape.

 

[theoldchick]

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You are absolutely correct, Professor. Today, a 300 lb chicken would be considered super morbidly obese and most likely be rolling in their own fat. Breathing would be impossible and the skeleton would collapse under all the weight. Airsacs would rupture and the remaining carcass would look like a bloated, gravid tick.

Alas, my genetic memories sometimes get the better of me......