Would you allow your daughter to join the Navy?

[crtrlovr]

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You have brought tears to my eyes. Your nephew is one of probably hundreds of thousands who serve their country with courage and dignity, putting aside so much of their lives so that we can enjoy so much of ours in freedom and relative safety. I can't watch a parade without crying when the American Flag goes by, and I do NOT fail to salute it with my hand over my heart. I have not personally served in any branch of the military, but have many family members who have done so. The floats with the VA and DAV members bring me to tears, and an Honor Guard will stop me in my tracks. We are a blessed nation, and we should be diligent about thanking and honoring those who put it on the line every day for us. To every former or presently active service member and their families (wish I had a bigger font available... THANK YOU.

 

[BarkerChickens]

My step-dad, 2 of my uncles, sister and brother-in-law (who she met while in the military) were all enlisted navy. My BIL is still reserves, so between full navy and reserves, he has ~14 years in the navy. My sister did 4 years in the navy and another 6-ish in the reserves. My other uncle went marines (drafted in WWII) and a very close friend of DH and I was in the army for 8 years. I don't think any of them regret it.

Seeing as how we are talking women...my sister joined directly out of high school. She trained as a medic and ended up getting work as a nurse in the hospital on Camp Pendleton (marine base with lots of navy medics). She loved it. Upon leaving the military, she went to school (with help from the GI Bill) and is now an RN. Her dream was to be work in the delivery ward, which is incredibly hard to get into, especially fresh out of school. However, in her case, she had experience in delivery while in the military (plus she graduated valedictorian). Because of her experience as a navy medic, she got the dream job she wanted. I don't think I have ever heard her say she regrets her experience.

While I think it is hard to watch the kids go off to the military, the experiences they get while in the military is amazing and shapes them for the rest of their lives.

 

[poltroon]

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So this would be my biggest concern:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/31/military.sexabuse/

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- A congresswoman said Thursday that her "jaw dropped" when military doctors told her that four in 10 women at a veterans hospital reported being sexually assaulted while in the military.

Remember, this is a job you can't quit, and not all superior officers seem to follow up appropriately. The risk she'd bear probably matters what specialty she takes as well.

Perhaps things are getting better, but perhaps not.

But if she decides to join, a strong connection to other female military officers (even if only via phone or email) would be incredibly valuable for advice and mentoring for the inevitable difficult spots.​

 

[poltroon]

I thought of another way to think about this.

If she was already a college graduate, and the education was paid for, is the military the career she'd choose without the tuition incentive?

And though the military may pay for college, to call that situation debt-free is incorrect. She'll owe a substantial debt, just one that they won't allow her to repay in cash.

By contrast, she could consider an alternate situation, having taken out loans, graduating and then getting a job and working long hours with few comforts for 6 years to pay the loans. It's about equivalent.

I would also ask what incentives and programs would be offered if she declines the ROTC scholarship and decides to join up as a freshly minted college graduate after doing the financial aid/loans route. I seem to recall that there are bonuses and other arrangements that might allow her to pay off her debt quickly that way, and it keeps her options open a little longer.

 

[yotetrapper]

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Wait, what?? What do neither she nor the family support?

 

[dacjohns]

Reference the original post. First of all I will say I admire your daughter and I would support her decision. Now I will go read through the thread and see if there is anything I can say that hasn't already been said.

 

[yotetrapper]

If a daughter of mine told me she wanted to join the military I would feel two things, immense fear, and even greater pride. Although I've had mixed feelings on women in combat, it seems to be working out okay.

If I were you, I would have a heart to heart talk with your daughter and find out why she wants to join. If she just wants the free school and "doesn't support" the military's causes, she will not make a good soldier, and will most likely end up jeopardizing someone elses' life. If that's the case, I would reccomend you try to talk your daughter out of it.

If she wants to join for the college AND because she wants to serve her country, I would hug her, tell her how proud you are, and help her any way you can with her choice.

You said "My concern is always with what she'd lose while she was there. Freedom would be the first casualty", I don't agree with this at ALL. Yes, she would lose her personal freedom for a few years, but she would have the knowledge, and the pride that her temporay loss of freedom helped in bringing and maintaining freedom for millions of people. That pride would be with her the rest of her life. It would far outweigh the inconvience of a few years of lost freedom!

 

[dacjohns]

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As others have said. There is a big difference between being an officer and being enlisted. Also there is a difference between the different branches. Check the other branches out also.

Look at the different options but realize they change all the time. My daughter had a 4 year degree, college debt, and went into the Army and got her loans paid off. The catch, she got out early on a medical discharge and had to repay part of the loan repayment. Know what you are getting into.


I forgot to say that women not being allowed in combat is a misperception. This war does not have front lines. Women are in combat.

 

[Tuffoldhen]

My daughter joined the AF at 19 years old after a year of college. She has been all over the world and now works at the Pentagon in a very admirable job. She will retire before she is 40 years old and can still work in a related field because of her dedication and education she received in the military.

I have never feared or worried for my daughter being military anymore than I would have as her being a reg. citizen. Yes she has deployment statis at the drop of a hat and been in some troubling countries. Both her father and I are very proud to say our daughter has served her country well. She knew what she was signing into as do all military people and would give her life for someone else to have freedom.

 

[kristenm1975]

Poltroon, thank you for the link to the CBS report on sexual assault in the military. My daughter is a beautiful blond-haired, blue-eyed buxom girl and I worry about that anywhere, but especially in the military. Fortunately, she's been raised since birth to defend herself in many ways, first and foremost by not putting herself into dangerous situations. Five or six years of martial arts doesn't hurt either. I understand that some college campuses have a reputation for sexual assault on students too, so it isn't like she's totally safe taking that direction in life, but I believe there are more safety measures in place and less likelihood of cover-ups about assaults occurring.