Would you allow your daughter to join the Navy?

[AngieChick]

Quote:
Wait, what?? What do neither she nor the family support?

Probably just this particular war, which is very common. I believe that if she joined during a war that she doesn't support it would make her time there that much harder. And, as yotetrapper commented down the thread, put her and others at greater risk. It would not be fair for her to do to anyone (least of all herself). As to the time spent in the service, I believe that they sign up for 8 years. Typically the time is structured as having part of the time active and part in the reserve. However, she can be called out of reserve at any point in those 8 years and asked to go active.

Can she live at home while attending school? What about taking a year or two to work and earn some college money while living at home?

The military service can be a good fit for many people. But, your heart has to be in it. It really is a lifestyle decision, and one that needs to take more than $ into account.

 

[dacjohns]

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She might able to physically defend herself but I would venture to say that many cases of assault are from someone in a position of authority. The person being assaulted is afraid to physically defend themselves and if the assault is reported it becomes a case of the higher ranking person having the advantage of being believed over the person of lower rank.

Now I hope the thread doesn't go off on a tangent.

 

[WriterofWords]

That one line

neither she nor our family support.

says don't join. She can't do her job if she doesn't believe in and she will be a danger to anyone she works with.​

 

[silkiechicken]

Quote:
She might able to physically defend herself but I would venture to say that many cases of assault are from someone in a position of authority. The person being assaulted is afraid to physically defend themselves and if the assault is reported it becomes a case of the higher ranking person having the advantage of being believed over the person of lower rank.

Now I hope the thread doesn't go off on a tangent.

My SO's sister is in the military and so is her husband. It is a way of life for them, on the topic of assault, she does not travel without being armed because of the men who are there. If I remember right, she has been an officer for a while now too. As much martial arts or physical type training you have, as a female, face it, you are not built the same as a male and against a physically fit and trained male as you would find on a military base more so than a college campus, good luck if you are not armed.

Doing things for ONLY the money is just not worth it in the long run. If you owe 8 years to them, you could easily work during college, get your degree, and have paid off your debt in less than 8 years total.

 

[dacjohns]

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I missed that during my first read.

No, do not join. You can't pick and chose. You take this oath:

I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

If you can't live up to all parts of it you have no business being in the military.

 

[kristenm1975]

I understand that its galling to many, but in our family, the government is viewed with mistrust. Some good is done daily, I'm sure, but many choices are made that we find to be unspeakable and sneaky. Coming from this view point, it doesn't at all seem like a good choice to serve that government for selfish reasons, even if they are as simple as wanting a good education. There are many who join the military because they feel it's the right thing to do and want to serve and if that's what they feel compelled to do, that's probably the right choice for them. This is not at all the case with my daughter.

I appreciate what has been said about the reasons to join and the very important reasons not to join. In my fear for her safety and ultimate happiness, I hadn't given proper consideration to the harm she could cause if she joined and was not willing or able to fully perform her duties.

On the subject of assault, I agree with what has been said about the odds of a woman, fit and trained in martial arts or not, escaping sexual assault if a likewise fit and trained man attacked. It simply reinforces my need to teach her how to avoid circumstances where those attacks are more likely. T

 

[duckchic16]

I'm not married with any kids yet because I'm still a teenager myself.. but if I was in that position with my son or daughter I would tell them: If this is truely what you want to do with your life then do it but be careful!! And I would support them all the way through it. I would also be writting them at least 5 times a month to make sure that they were okay and still alive. I could see a parent worrying about their kid(s).


Good luck with your situation.

 

[teach1rusl]

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I sure hope I was the first type, because I spent six years active duty in the Navy...lol. I worked with some wonderful women (and men) during my years of service. I probably did have a bit of a potty mouth back then...lol. But I still earned Petty Officer of the Year for my last command, so I couldn't have been all bad.

OP: My son is going through something similar right now. He's grown up knowing that he was "expected" to go to college. His father is college educated. I am college educated. I was a teacher for a number of years, so he has been raised hearing spouted the importance of a good education. When he began mentioning ideas about military service months back, I told him I would support his choice, but that he'd better invest in the GI Bill (called something else now I believe). I also told him that he could receive some excellent training in the Air Force or Navy if he chose the right field(s). What does he take an interest in? The Marines!! The most dangerous branch (IMO) to be a member of these days, enlisted or officer. Plus their outlook of "being a marine first" doesn't jive with me (no offense to Marine Corps members/vets out there). We're happy just to be able to talk him into going through ROTC so that he can go in as an officer, hopefully minimizing his risk.

I will say that I personally consider the Navy to be about the safest of the military branches, if that helps. My brother who recently retired from the Navy (corpman) did get as far as Afghanistan briefly, but in a pretty safe capacity.

Other than talking to her about her options and your concerns, it's out of your hands (at least it will be when she's 18). So you need to be supportive of her choice. Not to sound morbid, but I'd guess that the number of young people dieing in car accidents far outweigh young people dieing in Naval engagements each year.

 

[dacjohns]

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The more that comes out the more it looks like the military might not be a good idea.

People join the military for many reasons; some to serve their country, some for the benefits, some for adventure, some to get away. Whatever reason one enlists for they have to be prepared for what they didn't expect, like joining the Guard or Reserve for the education package end ending up doing multiple trips to a war zone and the education getting put on long term hold.

Even though the oath says defend and support the Constitution not the "government" the military is still an instrument of the government.

 

[hearthnsoul]

I cringe when I read this because I have five children, both my daughters were stalked by recruiters telling them fantasies beyond belief. My son they left alone because his pelvis was fractured and put together with a bazillion screws from a car accident, well of course one recruiter did tell him he could get him "in"

I think it's hard for young adults to make an intelligent decisons when they are trusting recruiters who have a personal stake in their signing up. My 15 year old wants to join the navy or the coast guard, all I can say to him is be informed with the decision and make sure whoever is informing you doesn't have a stake in the info your being given. Will I try to talk him out of it,...you betcha.
The military has some great points and some not so great, it has to be a good fit and without the real truth of what it entails, it's not fair to have impressionable minds mislead to such a commitment. I think as a mother I can't feel at peace with any of my children being put in harms way, just being honest here.