Yes Ma'am No Sir

[jeepchick]

I get the same thing about how I raise my kids....but I tell you that I get SO many comments on how polite my kids are. We moved to a new town about 5 months ago and I still from random teachers at school pull me aside to tell me how refreshing it is to have my kids in class. Im not bragging...OK maybe a little... but wow what a nice feeling it is when the bus driver stops traffic to wait for me to come to the door to compliment me on my kids. The first day of school at the new school my 10 year old apparently got off the bus after school and said " Thank you for the ride home". The same week I had to go in to bring my 12 year old his library book that he forgot...the lunch lady stopped me in the hall to say that for the first time in 23 years working in school lunch rooms it was the first time a child ever said Thank you for his lunch. Blows my mind that something so simple would prompt such a shocked response. And I have to say...its the most adorable thing ever to see the little old ladies gush over my boys when they hold doors for them

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[welasharon]

I think it mostly makes me nuts in restaurants! But then I live in the south and I am over 50!

 

[EweSheep]

I am teaching my daughter the politeness of Ma'am and Sir. RESPECT! My daughter's school is private, the children in her class would say "Hi, Mrs. G!"

I get to call that from time to time, certain teenagers who were highly educated or privately educated by proud parents. Another thing I noticed, sometimes when ma'am is not presented, the clerk would say "That is fine, Mrs....(pause)?" And it gives me a chance to answer how I wanted to be called upon. Choices. Works every time. No it does not make me feel old. In fact, it makes me feel important and with dignity.

 

[perolane]

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exactly. Since when did being polite become the new rude? I will never understand this "modern" society.

My children as do myself and my husband address people as ma'am and sir. We say please and thank you. We say "bless you" when some one sneezes. We hold doors and help a stranger in need.

Maybe it's because we are from the south, more or less (there is some debate of KY's location) but I think it's more because we were raised and have raised our children to believe that they are not the center of the universe, and that other people's feelings count too.

I used to get very angry when trying to teach my children to address an adult properly by Mr, Mrs or Ms/Miss and then that adult says "oh no call me so and so". And I would then have to correct my child and the adult. Children are NOT equal to adults. They are children. Addressing another person in a familiar way as using their first name is not a given right. It is also generally NOT appropriate in a child to adult relationship.

Even in families, that is why it's Uncle Steve or Aunt Sue and not Steve and Sue.

It's called MANNERS. Which are sorely lacking in this society.

Same here!!

 

[Yard full o' rocks]

Opa, I am so glad you bring this up. I am 46 and was raised in the south by a father who was ex-military (only 4 yrs) and a mother who were BOTH originally from up north (NY and Indiana respectively). Me, my brother and sister were all taught that you did not address anyone older than you without using SIR or MA'AM. We were taught not only to hold doors open, but to open car doors, pull out chairs for dates/wives, etc, etc, etc

It is simply a show of respect! There is nothing more meant by it. I currently work for a company with a plant in Canada (in a French province). The ladies there that I interact with think it is "so neat to speak to me because of how I address everyone". My mother would not accept me behaving any other way....even as an adult!

I too have taught my two boys (now 16 and 12) the same things and it never ceases to amaze me how many people say "wow, what well mannered children you have". Well, it was pretty easy!! We began teaching it and reinforcing it as soon as they began to speak. I find it such a shame that as an American culture, we don't accept and expect children to be respectful any more.

I would ask those of you unaccustomed to it to PLEASE not be offended by it! There are still a few of us out here that what to raise children to respect others....and this is simply a way of verbally expressing it. I promise that there is no sexist, chauvanistic tone implied in it anywhere.

AND, its not just a Southern thing. I travel the entire US and hear it used in MANY regions of the US. I believe it is just more frequent in the south.

Have a great day

 

[darkmatter]

I still cringe when someone calls me "Mr." or "Sir". "Mr" was my father, "Sir" was what we were required to call "Officers & Gentlemen" in the military----and my impression of those lying hypocritical S.O.B.s was such that I don't want to be grouped with them, even by title of address.
Call me want you want, just don't call me late for supper.

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

We don't use Sir Ma'am much here, but Mr/Miss/Mrs/Ms are used and the kids get the stink eye of doom if they dare forget it. They don't forget it by the time they are 3. But we aren't in the South, and Sir/Ma'am isn't used much here.

Stephanie's first word was "please", but she started talking late because she didn't have much to say. Can't shut the kid up now

 

[Dunkopf]

I hate it when people are polite. Then you have to be polite back to them instead of just friendly and respectful. Mam and Sir are methods of establishing a persons place in society. Saying Mam or Sir in most areas is a way of stating that who you are talking to is in a higher position on the socio economic ladder than you are. That's why servants and lesser ranking individuals in the military are required to use it.

 

[EweSheep]

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Are you for REAL???!!! It does not matter what social rank you have or how much stuff you have in your house or what position you own in the business world. Those titles does not know anything about that.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I actually agree with Dunkopf on the idea that you sir or ma'am people who are of higher rank than you, either economically or socially. That's why kids are supposed to use it to adults, adult use it with older and unknown adults, and the military with anyone of higher rank. In the south, there is also a racial component, although most people don't want to talk about those sorts of things.

It is not something that you say to someone you regard as an equal or subordinate.