You don’t need to apologize. It’s a good thing to stand up for yourself. You did well—I’m proud of you. I was out of line and you called me on it. That’s exactly what you ought to have done.
I want very much for you to be all that you want to be. Don’t be afraid. It’s scary I know, but you will be glad if you can get past this. There’s no feeling quite like moving ahead and becoming confident and self-sufficient. I really do believe you would enjoy the stimulating effects of working with other people. It’s not always easy, but there’s nothing quite like it. Plus as I mentioned, that steady paycheck is very nice to have.
Crap I haven't thought that far yet.
CSA, I really am sorry if it seems like I’ve been dismissive of or talking down on certain jobs or whatever. I know I’ve kind of done that a lot with regards to the office ones especially or whatever and I really don’t mean to. I know you guys all work incredibly hard and stuff and I didn’t mean to piss anybody off or upset anybody.
And honestly I never even thought of those scenarios so that’s a good point and you’re right. I don’t know what anybody’s job is like so I’ll stop assuming or comparing.
But just for the record, I wasn’t referring to you guys or any of the other people who actually work really hard. I know you guys do. But I have seen plenty literally just standing on their phone the entire time I’m there which usually isn’t short.
But I guess even with that, I don’t know why they’re doing that or what their day was like before and I’m sure they do work hard other times. So I’m sorry for comparing and assuming and stuff. Definitely need to stop that.
I guess I’m just used to people constantly talking down on mine and having to defend it. Not necessarily you guys. Honestly you guys have been mostly supportive even if it seems like I don’t think so. I still know it and appreciate it.
But I’ve had plenty of IRL people think that. Even had a “friend” once think she was better than me for having a retail one and tell me walking dogs wasn’t a real job even though she literally had had her job for like less than a week and up until then was constantly mooching off of me for money, rides, etc. and I was constantly giving her my own money. She was mad I wouldn’t give her a ride somewhere because I had to walk the dogs and didn’t get why I couldn’t just take them with me to drive her.
I blocked her after that lol
Granted, that’s completely different but still.
As for the rest of it, I have shared all that stuff before. Multiple times. And it’s still the same thing. Stop planning, stop talking, do, etc. But I guess that’s only because I usually never actually take the steps but still. Even when I have, it still usually isn’t enough. Like when I applied to one job, why didn’t I apply to 10!?
Or like now, I’m finally getting my shit together, albeit slowly, and the sole focus is still on the fact that I don’t have a job yet. Even though I’m paying for my own car, seeing a therapist, trying to improve myself and change. Still don’t have a job so it doesn’t count.
I know you guys haven’t actually said that and I know you’re all really supportive which I do appreciate but it feels like it sometimes. Like nothing is ever good enough. And no one ever asks how I’m doing or anything anymore. Which, btw, is good now, finally but it wasn’t for a while
How are you doin' lady? Got any fun plans for the weekend?
I didn't graduate high school, I had no driver's license, no job, and lived at home. But I got things together eventually, one step at a time.
Ouch! Get that hen an ice pack, stat!
