➡ Quail Hatch Along🥚

[ShrekDawg]

I would never seek help. I am totally against institutionalizing anyone. As long as what people do is not harmful to other people they should be left alone.

I agree to a point but it does seem like on this case he is starting to hurt himself with it too. Although that said, institutionalizong against his will might just make it worse.

His home is a health hazard, and he's about to get evicted. I'm so afraid he's going to end up on the street and dead in a couple of years. He won't take his meds.

I understand both sides, though, so that's why I don't push too hard. It's his life, but he's incapable of understanding anything more than immediate consequence. I just don't want to see him go so young. He's almost 30.

I think in your case you do have a right to be concerned, especially since he’s at the point where he’s harming himself with it, but at the same time, institutionalizing him against his own will may make it worse.

A lot of hoarders start because of some traumatic experience or to fill some emotional void so being thrown into an institution would almost certainly be traumatic and he may just start hoarding again as soon as he gets out.

It may also destroy trust which would be essential in helping him.

I do think you may be able to reach a compromise though.

There are therapists and such that specialize in this sort of thing. Perhaps you could talk to him and convince him to see a therapist? He could get help but not have to be institutionalized.

Did he start after his dad died or was he doing it before that? I think figuring out what the trigger is and addressing the real issue will be the key to making actual, lasting change and helping.

Though, of course, it does no good if he doesn’t want it for himself.

I do hope you can get through to him though.

 

[ShrekDawg]

I'm no hoarder, I'm a "clutterer"....

I probably am too.

And that’s a good point too... I do think there is a difference between hoarding and just having a lot of stuff, or liking to collect/shop or whatever. It might be a very slight difference, fine line, or whatever, but I do think it’s there.

I think the difference may lie in the extreme trauma and difficulty in getting rid of anything. Even something like trash for some people. At the detriment to themselves and others.

I am not there but I do have some things that I probably should get rid of, that I know I never use or whatever, but I can’t when I try to.

 

[Nabiki]

I agree to a point but it does seem like on this case he is starting to hurt himself with it too. Although that said, institutionalizong against his will might just make it worse.


I think in your case you do have a right to be concerned, especially since he’s at the point where he’s harming himself with it, but at the same time, institutionalizing him against his own will may make it worse.

A lot of hoarders start because of some traumatic experience or to fill some emotional void so being thrown into an institution would almost certainly be traumatic and he may just start hoarding again as soon as he gets out.

It may also destroy trust which would be essential in helping him.

I do think you may be able to reach a compromise though.

There are therapists and such that specialize in this sort of thing. Perhaps you could talk to him and convince him to see a therapist? He could get help but not have to be institutionalized.

Did he start after his dad died or was he doing it before that? I think figuring out what the trigger is and addressing the real issue will be the key to making actual, lasting change and helping.

Though, of course, it does no good if he doesn’t want it for himself.

I do hope you can get through to him though.

He's supposed to be seeing a therapist. He usually doesn't make his appointments. He has some people who specialize in hoarder help that visit him on a regular basis. He needs daily supervision of some sort, and his mom just doesn't have the bandwidth to help him. She has two other kids in their early teens, and one of them is also special needs (Asperger's).

I would be happy if someone just made sure that he took his meds daily and made his therapist appointments.

I want to help him, but he refuses to be helped. I hate to say it, but I'm trying to resign myself to losing him in a few years or maybe sooner.

 

[danalovesdogs]

They’re hatching!!!

 

[ShrekDawg]

He's supposed to be seeing a therapist. He usually doesn't make his appointments. He has some people who specialize in hoarder help that visit him on a regular basis. He needs daily supervision of some sort, and his mom just doesn't have the bandwidth to help him. She has two other kids in their early teens, and one of them is also special needs (Asperger's).

I would be happy if someone just made sure that he took his meds daily and made his therapist appointments.

I want to help him, but he refuses to be helped. I hate to say it, but I'm trying to resign myself to losing him in a few years or maybe sooner.

Oh man, that’s tough.

Is there anybody else that could help him or check on him and make sure he gets to the appointments and stuff?

I’m sorry.

 

[Nabiki]

Oh man, that’s tough.

Is there anybody else that could help him or check on him and make sure he gets to the appointments and stuff?

I’m sorry.

Not really. That's why I think he should be in a home someplace rather than on his own. If he weren't in a different state I could help, but I don't have the time to give him full time care either. Neither his mom or I have the income to hire someone to look after him either.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Not really. That's why I think he should be in a home someplace rather than on his own. If he weren't in a different state I could help, but I don't have the time to give him full time care either. Neither his mom or I have the income to hire someone to look after him either.

I think in his case it really might help him but of course would do no good if he doesn’t want the help himself.

Does he not think he has a problem or??

I’m really sorry.

 

[Nabiki]

I think in his case it really might help him but of course would do no good if he doesn’t want the help himself.

Does he not think he has a problem or??

I’m really sorry.

He knows, but like I said, he doesn't understand anything beyond immediate consequence, such as, hot stove = burn. He doesn't understand as far as, "if I go grocery shopping today, I will have food tomorrow."

 

[ShrekDawg]

He knows, but like I said, he doesn't understand anything beyond immediate consequence, such as, hot stove = burn. He doesn't understand as far as, "if I go grocery shopping today, I will have food tomorrow."

That’s sad.

 

[ShrekDawg]

Btw I know I probably shouldn’t but I’m getting that special leaf straining mug and two more of the other kind. I really think I will use them. In fact, I might make a glass when I get home. Also, I am going to go through my room today and get rid of some stuff so I can add these.