Advice regarding stepdaughter

[EweSheep]

YIKES! Katie, BAR THE DOOR!

Change the number first thing you can do! Does she drop in without calling before?

 

[michickenwrangler]

Quote:
Once or twice when her dad was still alive. EVen he was never terribly thrilled when they stopped in for a visit (they being her and her current boyfriend of the month. Although she's been calling from the same number for a few months now, so I think she's still with the same guy. I don't know for certain because I haven't asked her, that would be showing an interest in her life)

DBF is pretty quiet regarding her. He asked me once why I didn't want to deal with her. I gave him the long answer (see 1st post) and finished it up with, "And I don't want her screaming at me 'You replaced my dad!'"

Joking he said, "Well, if she says that, just tell her 'Yup. That's exactly what I did.'"

I might tell that to Wayne's sister. Over the phone because she's safely ensconced in Florida.

Stepdaughter is an hour away, she has the potential to make my life miserable.

 

[Dar]

as debi said you have no ties...

block her on FB.. you can make your profile not available in the public searches (in case she pens a bogus account to search)... change your number.. if she "drops" in tell her that this is not a good time.. and if she really starts into it tell her right out.. you dont like her behavior and do not want her here again and then call the police and make sure your ducks are in a row..

I know here if someone is in an assisted living facility because they have the intellect of a 12 yr old they are not permitted to leave the area without supervision... maybe if she is in a home you can call the home and explain what she is doing because they are being paid by the state to keep her safe in in turn keep society "safe" from an unruly person with mental disabilities

 

[seminolewind]

1. She is not your relative or family.
2. You never had a relationship with her
3. You don't like her.

For a handicapped girl, she sounds pretty adult, having a boyfriend and all. Tell her not to call you anymore. If she gets mad, or melodramatic, hang up.

Listen to your boyfriend.

 

[Dar]

Quote:
LOL does your phone have this button <click>

 

[seminolewind]

Quote:
LOL does your phone have this button <click>

Hey Dar!

 

[Dar]

Quote:
LOL does your phone have this button <click>

Hey Dar!

LOL hey

 

[EweSheep]

Like we all said, you don't owe her anything.

I love your boyfriend's comment LOLOLOLOL!

 

[HHandbasket]

Quote:
Getting law enforcement to back up a protective order is another story, though. I had a girlfriend who had a restraining order against her ex for years. He would still break into her house and beat her on an almost nightly basis, to the point where the cops wouldn't even come anymore... they'd wait a couple of hours until he was gone, and the local police department in the town where they lived referred to them as "nuisance calls" because it seriously happened almost nightly. This woman bought dogs, put bars on her windows, did everything short of owning a gun. (She couldn't legally acquire a gun because he had put her in the hospital once years before & she was diagnosed with major depression and did 24 hours under psych observation... and if you have ever had a psychiatric admission of any kind for any reason, you cannot legally own a firearm in this country, something I didn't know until Julie tried to legally buy a gun). I can't tell you how many times that poor woman ended up in the ER with bleeding this or broken that or bruised the other.

I don't trust protective orders. And I don't trust law enforcement to do their jobs anymore, not because cops are bad per se, but because budget cuts limits their ability to respond appropriately to dangerous personal situations.

To the OP: You tell this girl whatever you have to tell her in order to protect yourself because the cops ain't gonna help you until the damage is done if you get a protective order.

 

[justbugged]

I would think about having your DBF answer your phone, and tell her that this is your new number and he thinks you have moved out State, and that you left no forwarding address. Oh and then to what address can he send her the past due bill for the phone service. But then I tend to think of mean things to do to pests.

My observation is that if you give her an inch, she will take a mile or more, and who knows what the BF of the month thinks he can get out of you. I have found that people like this tend to think that you owe them something, just because you used to be sort of relationship. I am very suspicious as to why she now wants to see you right now. There shouldn't be any reason for her to bother coming over, unless she thinks she can get something from you.

I also don't think that she will get the hint that you want to avoid doing anything with her. She may have the intellect of a 12 year old, but that doesn't mean that she understands everything that an average 12 year old should. I think that you need to either tell her, or find away to disappear enough to make it seem real to her. If she could get the hint, she should have done so by now.

The BF of the month is the wild card. I would make sure that she knows that if anything were to happen to you, that she wouldn't get anything, not even a card. Just avoiding her isn't going to work, I don't think she is smart enough to understand the subtly of being ignored. I would let her know that because she doesn't seem to understand your boundaries, that you can no longer keep in touch with her, and that if she persists that you can and will call the police.

You need to play for keeps. Your daughter doesn't need to know this person, just because they shared a possible father. The woman will never be able to be a real sister to your daughter. All this woman can ever be is a burden to your daughter. It will be easier for everyone involved to make the break now, than it will be later on.