Advice regarding stepdaughter

[EweSheep]

Quote:
AMEN! I dread the thought of seeing that lady taking advantage of your daughter when she is all grown up......if she can not get it from her own father, and can't get it from you, she will go the distance putting a guilt trip on your daughter, that's for sure! (It happened to my mom's family...it was a MESS!).

 

[michickenwrangler]

Quote:
AMEN! I dread the thought of seeing that lady taking advantage of your daughter when she is all grown up......if she can not get it from her own father, and can't get it from you, she will go the distance putting a guilt trip on your daughter, that's for sure! (It happened to my mom's family...it was a MESS!).

I want to involve my DBF as little as possible. For his own sanity.

And, yes, she doesn't seem to be getting the clue. This has been going on since summer. I have NEVER returned any of her calls or done anything more on FB other than the "Not Now" button on the friend request.

I spoke with one of the counselors at work who suggested that I call her mother and let her know what is going on. Though her mother and I get along all right (she and Wayne split up lllooonnnggg before I was on the scene and they were both unhappy with one another and were glad to end it. She has no animosity toward me and the only animosity I have toward her is that Wayne's high school buddy made a comment in passing that she was the "purty wife." I guess I'm not mad that she's "purty" but that his friend said that right in front of me) I'm not 100% comfortable talking with her about this.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Ack

It's still going on. It died down for most of February, but about a week ago she did a shotgun marriage to Heaven only knows (I have been screening her calls). She keeps leaving a message that she wants to talk to me but won't leave any details. She may be plugging for a wedding gift or maybe she's pregnant again. I don't know, I don't care. The only reason I know about her wedding is the 3 messages she left for me about it. The wedding was during the day and apparently she forgot that I WORK!

Didn't change my number because the activity DID die down for awhile and DBF is looking for a job and has his resume out and is awaiting calls so we thought it would be a bad time to change the number.

Added complication ...

I'm 2 months pregnant (main reason why I haven't been on here lately, I've been exhausted and vomiting frequently). I REALLY don't want her in my life right now.

 

[SillyChicken]

Congratulations!

If you really don't want her in your life....... maybe you should just tell her.

 

[Cockhound]

sure enough sounds like a tricky situation, .. , but should be simple enough to just ignore, ...if you dont return calls, dont add on facebook, and dont reply to any messages, she will get the hint sooner or later, as far as psycho boyfriend, i dont think u have to worry much, most guys wont do stupid shoit like that for good girls, let alone a social misfit as you have described, ....I would definitely just stay away from situation, .. if anything , send a long dramatic facebook message saying you are having a hard time adjusting and dont wanna deal with anyone....lol...just thank God she lives country over...lol...Good Luck and God Bless...

 

[EweSheep]

congratulations on the new addition!

Time to write her off. Ignore her. There is nothing you can do at this point in life and you have a new life and new family to care for now.

 

[cassie]

Just my two cents worth. As other people have suggested, if you don't want her in your life, tell her straight out. That is the kindest thing to do. If she has a personality disorder, she is not going to understand hints, ignoring, etc. She needs to be told point blank. There is no simply way around it. Period.

 

[Cockhound]

maybe u should answer the phone and give her some rope, ...see where she goes with it, i would be just a little curious, ..then i would ask her why the sudden interest, when she rarely had any when father was still alive, ...as for the daughter, i would definitely keep her away, no need to muddy those waters, ..good luck...

 

[Chicks on DL]

Congrats on the baby! If she has a mother, then why is she calling you? There must me something she wants to be this persistent for this long. 12 year olds usually lose interest much quicker. I would speak to her and find out what she wants. I would explain that you are moving on and she has a mother. I probably don't have to tell you to not tell her about the pregnancy. For the sake of your baby you need to find a way to nip this now even if it means an uncomfortable conversation with her mother. Avoiding her apparently is not working.

 

[michickenwrangler]

After close to a year with almost no contact, it's starting up again

Flash forward past a miscarriage, beginning an addition on the house and starting my own business ...

Stepdaughter stopped over unexpectedly one day toward the end of last summer. I did not let her in the house, intercepted her on the lawn, and explained firmly but as "non-rude" as I could that I was trying to move on with my life, my OWN life and moving past my late husband. She seemed to get the hint and left. Didn't hear from her for months, then about 6 weeks ago I got a"friend" request on Facebook from her. No big deal, I blocked her and did not accept the request.

Well, she got a new cell-phone so I inadvertently answered one day when she called during the holidays (her cell number is only 2 digits off DBF's sister's number). I told her I was busy and didn't have time to talk. She's called 2 or 3 times since but I haven't answered the phone now that I know her number.

She called and left a message today that she wants to pop in on Sunday.

Again, DBF is seemingly baffled why I refuse to have anything to do with her even though one of his friends who knows her tried to explain the situation to him.

At this point, I'm reluctant to change my number because of my business.

I don't know what she wants from me and short of shouting that question out loud at her, I'm not sure what to do. I think she wants a best friend, but I have no desire to be that to her, despite how mean that sounds.