At my wits end with my 3 year old

[ChickyLove]

Quote:
Agree, but to get a bar of soap in a childs mouth is challenging, so I find that a lil' bitty squirt of dish detergent does really good.

{{{waiting for the book to be thrown at me}}}

lol i have pump hand soap for a reason

I have a nice plastic wrapped bar of Kirkland brand organic soap for my kid's mouth. When she is nasty, sassy, rude, interrupting or lying I remind her that those things are nasty and that her mouth needs to be clean. I think I've used the bar maybe only about 8-9 times. It's effective!

 

[JulieNKC]

Quote:
Love the ACV idea. My little girl who will be 2 at the end of this month has started spitting at me. Spanking, time out, taking things away, etc doesn't work with her so maybe this will. Although she might like it, she has been eating pickles, sardines, kipper snacks, etc with daddy since she was about a year old. And dirt, the kid likes dirt.

 

[TigerLilly]

Quote:
Agree, but to get a bar of soap in a childs mouth is challenging, so I find that a lil' bitty squirt of dish detergent does really good.

{{{waiting for the book to be thrown at me}}}

When mine got their 'mouths washed out with soap,' my version was to have them take their toothbrush & scrub the soap with it, then they got the pleasure of brushing their tongue. If they were particularly nasty (foul-mouthed), they brushed their teeth with it while I stood there to make sure it was done properly...
Harsh, maybe, but it DEFINITELY only took ONCE per child!

 

[they'reHISchickens]

I must have been a real nasty mom because I once told my DD ( age under 10, I'm sure) to wash her mouth out with soap and she did-- on her own! I really didn't expect that!
Her older brother though, OMG, spankings meant nothing at all. Sometimes kisses worked wonders. EWWW! I learned to ignore much and enforce the minimum rules just so I wasn't yelling/punishing all the time. He was #4 of 5 so of course, much was for attention.
When one would get the best of me, I'd "make a project" of the child and tell them so they would know it. I was focused on that particular child for days on end until the behavior straightened out. After a time or two, all it took was " Do I need to make a project of you?"
Each child's personality has so much to do with how you raise them. It IS hereditary and dear son has one just like him about to turn two years old. Poor dad. Honest, i did not wish it on him. Parenting is hard enough without making it harder.
I think that today's parents have forgotten that parenting IS a hard job and it is indeed a job if it is to be done correctly. It's real work to raise a child.
If you are lucky, they come back and hug you and say you did well

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

We got super lucky on the tongue sticking out thing in our house!

One of my sister's in-laws had a child who was born with a tongue that was quite literally too long for his mouth. So his tongue hung out and he drooled and he could not speak properly. There were bunches of discussions over the medical plan for dealing with this and when he was about three his tongue was surgically "tacked back" in place. (Three years later they actually surgically shortened it since it grew along with his mouth and he was not growing into it.)

My kids didn't hear all of those conversations. But, apparently DD1 heard enough to terrify her younger siblings and friends that "If you keep sticking your tongue out the doctor will tack it back into your mouth!"

 

[ChickenAlgebra]

Quote:
Love the ACV idea. My little girl who will be 2 at the end of this month has started spitting at me. Spanking, time out, taking things away, etc doesn't work with her so maybe this will. Although she might like it, she has been eating pickles, sardines, kipper snacks, etc with daddy since she was about a year old. And dirt, the kid likes dirt.

My kids ADORE anything pickled, and still hate ACV in their mouth. I know my MIL used straight up white vinegar, which may taste stronger, I'm not sure. I just had ACV, knew it was actually pretty good for a person overall, and Matt was driving me up the wall with sticking his tounge out at people if he was mad. MIL just told me give him some ACV and make up a reason why he needs it, he'll stop.

Yup, took a few doses, and it got brought out as medicine for various other problems, but it's worked.

MIL made my 14 y/o take some for whine medicine, then sent her to bed the other night I guess. Apparently she's really worked on not being a whiny teenager since then.

 

[kareninthesun]

I will never forget when my friend shared the following with me: she's an artist, sculpures, has a studio and converted her garage into a home studio. In working with clay, she's got a huge heavy posterboard with examples in clay of various things. One day a young instigator of trouble came over to try to harass her as she worked. She ignored him until he about drove her nuts. Then in a calm voice she asked if he knew what sometimes happened to children whom stuck out their tongues or tried to bully others. He laughed and said he wasn't a baby and didn't care. She lifted the long cloth over the display, showing a large assortment of very lifelike ears. He left quickly. And no one knew why he changed immediatly. I'm thinking he had nightmares for a long time...

When my grandson acts like this, if it is in public, we change plans immediatly. Tag team for an adult to sit it out in the car w/him or he gets "the chair" a lonely place in the corner, not facing in the corner, but out where he can see everyone else having fun. His latest thing is to say to someone whom isn't giving him what he wants, that "they are mean." Since he knows this isn't true, but him putting the blame on someone else for his behaviour, we always respond, "oh, I forgot to be mean! and take away another special privelege, usually one of the pocketed coveted cars he keeps in his pocket. Don't keep them long, just long enough to see a change in behaviour then for him to express in his own words (not a short I'm sorry) the reasons why he was in trouble. Never send him to his room, that's fun!

 

[Chickerdoodle13]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

We got super lucky on the tongue sticking out thing in our house!

One of my sister's in-laws had a child who was born with a tongue that was quite literally too long for his mouth. So his tongue hung out and he drooled and he could not speak properly. There were bunches of discussions over the medical plan for dealing with this and when he was about three his tongue was surgically "tacked back" in place. (Three years later they actually surgically shortened it since it grew along with his mouth and he was not growing into it.)

My kids didn't hear all of those conversations. But, apparently DD1 heard enough to terrify her younger siblings and friends that "If you keep sticking your tongue out the doctor will tack it back into your mouth!"

LOL, my dad used to give us absurd and scary reasons for us kids NOT to do things. This sounds like something he would have told us. He didn't want me or my brother touching the chlorine thingy that floats in the pool so he told us that if we touched it, the chlorine would melt our skin off. I can tell you we never touched it! (And it still scares me a bit to this day!

) He didn't want us sticking limbs out of car windows so he told us stories about children who got their limbs cut off by sticking them out windows. My parents were so weird sometimes, but I wouldn't change a thing about my childhood! We used to spend the night on our boat at the lake and my parents would bang on the sides and tell us stories about sharks that would eat us. We'd be crying hysterically and little did I know, they'd be trying not to laugh. I turned out fine in the end, but I'm sure my kids will go through the same thing!

My brother and I used to love the scary stories though, even if we cried. Gruesome kids I guess!

 

[chicmom]

Have him sit in the naughty spot for three minutes. You say to him, "Johnny, you are going to sit in the naughty spot because you stuck out your tongue and called me a booger. If he gets up, you place him there again, and start over. Even if you have to do this all day long. Then, once he makes it the full 3 minutes, you explain why he was there, and ask him to apologize to you. If he won't, he stays there another three minutes.

It's hard to make them stay at first, but it does work. Putting them in their room for a time out only allows them to play, as soon as you shut the door.

Try it! It works like a charm.

 

[hilareee]

hilaree: The phrase "I'm not a mother, but" is key here. I spent a lot of time with my 4 nephews, other children , had a degree in early childhood education and taught all ages for years before I had my daughter. The old cliche - It's different when they're yours - is absolutely true.

i have plenty of experience with children, and a background in psychology. the key phrase for me here is when i wrote, "i could never NEVER raise my hand to a defenseless child." where in your early childhood education
schooling did you ever learn that corporal punishment was ok?

in the very rare instance where a child has been allowed to get away with whatever they want hitting,biteing,screaming,trying to hurt people for no reason or animals i think a kid like that needs a woopin.

all that's happening here is showing the kid that it's ok to hit.

sorry, i'm removing myself from this thread. it really upsets me how many people think corporal punishment is ok.

cheers,
h​