Breaking the Law, Breaking the Law

[Aunt Angus]

Could you maybe talk to her? She sounds unreasonable, but I find these things are often the result of misunderstandings. Maybe offer her free eggs (and, no, I am not condoning egging her house). Your neighbors who have chickens might be able to offer advice, too.

Might be worth a try? Worst case is she is still a beeyatch, and you are back to trying to shuffle your flock when the inspection takes place.

 

[Aunt Angus]

And props for the Judas Priest reference! Maybe your heavy metal music is what's got her in a tizzy. It's the devil's music, you know.

 

[TheBlueShepard]

Stash your chickens with a helpful neighbor and their coop, pass the inspection, then bring your chickens back. Then check the ordinances for as many violations as you can find on your problem neighbor, send her a letter by certified mail entailing each and every one of those violations with fines and a grand total, without communicating any overt threat or condition. Covertly place some attractants (bacon grease works well) at the edge of her property and call aninal control officers every time a neighborhood stray is remotely in the area, blaming her for it. Maintain anonymity and plausible deniability. If she has pets and they are ever off her property, put out greasy messy foods for them to get into. Every time you hear a strange noise from anywhere remotely near her house, or haven't seen her in a day or so, call in an anonymous concern for her wellbeing and ask the police to check on her. If she doesn't have cameras, put fertilizer in random, irregualr places in her grass while she's not home. Keep up these tactics for at least a full business week, then in personal conversation (if you happen to have one) let her know that you will continue to make her life the valley of the shadow of death if she ever messes with you or anything that is yours again. Then if she still gives you a problem, unleash the code enforcement officer.

 

[TheBlueShepard]

Then find a paralegal friend who will send her a letter threatening lawsuit for emotional suffering and gaim lost from the eggs your chickens would have produced over the course of their lifetime if she had not deprived you of them, and the cost of wasted housing.

 

[21hens-incharge]

Stash your chickens with a helpful neighbor and their coop, pass the inspection, then bring your chickens back. Then check the ordinances for as many violations as you can find on your problem neighbor, send her a letter by certified mail entailing each and every one of those violations with fines and a grand total, without communicating any overt threat or condition. Covertly place some attractants (bacon grease works well) at the edge of her property and call aninal control officers every time a neighborhood stray is remotely in the area, blaming her for it. Maintain anonymity and plausible deniability. If she has pets and they are ever off her property, put out greasy messy foods for them to get into. Every time you hear a strange noise from anywhere remotely near her house, or haven't seen her in a day or so, call in an anonymous concern for her wellbeing and ask the police to check on her. If she doesn't have cameras, put fertilizer in random, irregualr places in her grass while she's not home. Keep up these tactics for at least a full business week, then in personal conversation (if you happen to have one) let her know that you will continue to make her life the valley of the shadow of death if she ever messes with you or anything that is yours again. Then if she still gives you a problem, unleash the code enforcement officer.

Most of those things if not all are illegal.

Personally I would keep it all 100% legal.

I definitely would NOT ever be messing with anyone else's animals.

Fertilizer dumping on another's lawn is vandalism.....and could be getting caught on camera.

 

[TheBlueShepard]

Most of those things if not all are illegal.

Personally I would keep it all 100% legal.
I definitely would NOT ever be messing with anyone else's animals.

Fertilizer dumping on another's lawn is vandalism.....and could be getting caught on camera.

Satire.

 

[Acre4Me]

Stash your chickens with a helpful neighbor and their coop, pass the inspection, then bring your chickens back. Then check the ordinances for as many violations as you can find on your problem neighbor, send her a letter by certified mail entailing each and every one of those violations with fines and a grand total, without communicating any overt threat or condition. Covertly place some attractants (bacon grease works well) at the edge of her property and call aninal control officers every time a neighborhood stray is remotely in the area, blaming her for it. Maintain anonymity and plausible deniability. If she has pets and they are ever off her property, put out greasy messy foods for them to get into. Every time you hear a strange noise from anywhere remotely near her house, or haven't seen her in a day or so, call in an anonymous concern for her wellbeing and ask the police to check on her. If she doesn't have cameras, put fertilizer in random, irregualr places in her grass while she's not home. Keep up these tactics for at least a full business week, then in personal conversation (if you happen to have one) let her know that you will continue to make her life the valley of the shadow of death if she ever messes with you or anything that is yours again. Then if she still gives you a problem, unleash the code enforcement officer.

Wow. So clearly you are what is referred to as an unreasonable neighbor. Lol. Trying hard to get someone else in trouble then likely trying to keep your imagined halo over your head (it keeps slipping, ya know). Spending time to thoughtfully and maturely address the situation and aspects is what is needed. You’re suggesting that OP immaturely spend time trying to encourage a neighbor war.

 

[David61]

Privacy fence. What they can't see they can't report. Code enforcement can't come on your property and look over fence. If she does its trespassing.

 

[TheBlueShepard]

Most of those things if not all are illegal.

Personally I would keep it all 100% legal.

I definitely would NOT ever be messing with anyone else's animals.

Fertilizer dumping on another's lawn is vandalism.....and could be getting caught on camera.

Actually though... all of those are gray areas, at least where I'm from. There is no magistrate in his right mind who would issue a warrant for arrest because some crabby lady came in and said "MY NEIGHBOR FED MY CAT BACON GREASE!!!" Fertilizing someones grass technically is not vandalism here. No monetary damage = no victim to suffer from the damages = no crime.

And as far as other people's animals, I have lost so many chickens to neighborhood pets at this point that if my neighbor's refuse to keep their animals off my property and away from my coop after civil conversation about it, I shoot and bury them. The animals, I mean.

 

[ChemicalchiCkns]

I would warn her off your property in a certifyed mail on account of her obvious baby problem.