Breaking the nurse-to-sleep association. No-Cry Sleep Solution.

[Xtina]

I hear you guys. It's not that I don't want him to nurse at night. But I could really do with longer than a 1.5 hour stretch, you know? I call not getting more than that at once for many months a severe sleep issue. I really don't want to be unreasonable, but I also don't want to have unreasonable expectations put on me. What can I say, I really really enjoy my sleep and I have a hard time functioning if I don't get it. I've created a very flexible setup for myself - even though I have to work, I work flextime from home so it's ok if we sleep till 9 every day. But being awake for hours in the middle of the night because he can't settle down is a problem regardless.

He does use a pacifier. Honestly if it got him to sleep just a few long stretches, I'd let him have it till he was five years old.

I haven't tried raw dairy...not to act judgmental of anyone else's thing, but I'm way too terrified of it. It's fine with me for other people to do it, but I'd rather quit dairy than take that risk. My husband being a scientist only compounds it. I don't think he would stand for the mention of raw dairy being brought into the house, even if I wanted it. But I hate soymilk and don't plan to buy it again. I don't want to be turning my little boy into a little girl.

 

[PaulaJoAnne]

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If it helps, any of us that drink raw milk, actually stands a 2,000% chance higher risk of getting sick from any and all other foods.
And this is actual fact from the FDA!
Raw dairy sustained us for thousands of years, but industrialization caused some rather nasty farm practices which ended up causing pasturization. Which in tunr has caused massive lactose intolerance, and contributed heavily to heart disease.

Babies are born with the same gut bacteria and immune systems of their mothers, so whether or not you have visible signs in yourself, its likely your baby is suffering the same issues.

The ladies over at www.mothering.com in the allergies and breastfeeding sections of the forum are so very helpful with this kind of stuff.
You will get some very careful and personal help for sure.

 

[tedabug]

Good luck. Remember, this too shall pass. Hang in there! I promise it gets better.

 

[chickeypoo]

Ok.. my oldest wouldn't sleep through the night when she was breast fed... and i mean she was waking up every 1.5 hours or so and not sleep for a long time after.. even though i kept it dark. i hate to say i ended up giving That up cuz i was only 16 and i had to get some sleep for school. so i started to bottle feed. and she started to sleep through the night. My second one.. in my opinion was my heathen LOL. even after feeding she'd cry and cry and cry. I couldn't take it anymore. i started to bottle feed her as well. that was the quietest i had ever heard her.


now my youngest.. was breastfed for a while. and even after i started to bottle feed cuz for some reason my body cut the breast milk off.. i pumped while at work and one day.. nothing.. so i started to bottle feed her and she started eating solid foods and all this... and she never slept through the night until 2.

there are so many ways out there to try to get sleep or that tell you to do this or that.. i have to agree though.. that 5 am may not be early for your little one. it might be for you.. but he goes to bed at 7 or 730 right? in my opinion that's early. my kids never went to bed before 8 and they still would wake up at like 7.. which can be too early for me lol. so.. i think maybe trying to get him to nap less during the day.. or taking one longer nap instead of two shorter ones. and keep him up before bedtime. i know that if my LO napped at say...430 before i had picked her up from daycare.. she would not sleep at her regular time.

my youngest is almost 3. she woke me up at 8 this morning to go potty, and then she was up, had breakfast, and when she started to lay on me.. snuggly. i knew it was nap time. so she laid down before 12. she woke up a couple hours later.. maybe 2? im not sure on that.. but she never napped again. she went to bed just after 9. let her sleep on my bed. for some reason. she loves that. LOL. and then when DH went in there.. moved her to her bed no problem. I know that there is a big difference between the age of my daughter and your child, but it's just comparing.

Every child is different. some books may help others, but they are not a manual for every child. i never listened to everything my mom said. not even when i was 16. she only had me.. so she can't be *that* experienced. Every mother, i think, has gone through the hell of not sleeping.. Some longer than others. I feel bed for every single one.

i think id try to get up with him at 5, then let him nap when he gets tired. I never understood the sheduling thing LOL. and then after a certain time keep him up and don't let him sleep. i know that it may sound mean, but if my DD had napped at wierd times, id make her stay awake so she couldn't wake me up earlier than needed ya know? I do hope that you find some solace in knowing that it can and will pass.

i remember my MIL telling me that my DH didn't sleep through the night until after he was 2. I was horrified.. i didn't want that to happen. guess what.. it did LOL.

another thing i wanted to add is try going to this site.. www.diaperswappers.com.. there are a lot of women on there that can help. it's not just about cloth diapers

lots of support. I hope that you get the sleep you need. many hugs to you.

 

[suzettex5]

I dont know how much help I'll be, but I sure sympathise with you. I have baby #5 at 20 months old, still nursing day and night, and still co-sleeping. Its getting to be a bit ofa pain.

With all my others, I always waited till they were at least 14 months old, then went on a four or 5 day trip and left dad to deal with it. kinda harsh,but it worked. Baby got used to a bottle, and I had time to dry up a bit and get out of the nursing habit. One of them I just put the toddler bed in our room, let baby fall asleep at the breast, and snuck away once he fell asleep. If he woke up, I just went to his bed, curled up with him, nursed him, and snuck out again. It takes a few weeks, but it worked for us.

One important thing we learned was- fill them up with as much food as possible before bed. I would hold back evening snacks so I knew he was hungry, then I would give him a really good filling meal with baby cereal added, and I think it really helped him to sleep longer alone.

There are lots of good suggestions here, but you know your baby, and you will figure out whats right for your child. Please dont let anyone influence your choices as to when and where to nurse your baby. Many cultures nurse beyond 3 years old on a regular, accepted basis, why shouldnt we? I think nursing is awesome and I personally applaude your choice to nurse your baby.

I wish you all the best and hope you dont have too many nights of lost sleep!

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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[Sonoran Silkies]

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Does he ever have the opportunity to sleep when there is not a white noise machine? By and large I am not a fan of making life stop so that baby will sleep. If the doorbell or phone rings, it rings. I did not deliberately do loud things, but I also did not deliberately keep things quiet.

I would say that you should try for a later bedtime for him, and getting him up shortly after you choose to get up for the day.

Also, I suggest that instead of relying on what one book and author says, that you read a variety of baby care books and take what seems like it might work for you from each and mesh them together. Penelope Leach had some interesting ways of adjusting baby sleep schedules in one of her books.

Do realize that some children need less, and some more, sleep than the average.

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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You breastfeeding has no direct impact on your digestive system. Pregnancy & childbird does, but you should have recovered to normal by now. If you altered your diet due to breastfeeding, that could be a cause for digestion problems. One of the best things you can do is make sure you have a healthy level of good bacteria in your gut. Live culture yogurt is one good source, but you can also find other forms of probiotics. However, at this point you may want to talk to your doctor or a nutritionist.

 

[Hollywood Chickens]

I don't have any kids, but I am the older sister to 7 siblings, and since I was a teenager for 3 of them, I am pretty involved.
If he is crying more on his back than it is probably gas, you need to pump his legs like he is walking to relieve it.

Also you do need to watch what you eat, like peppers would make his stomach sore.

Someone else here said that the weight charts are for formula, that is true, you should not be limiting his feeding. Have you been feeding him any solids? he might be allergic to some of them.

Also napping so much would keep him up all night, and frankly that book doesn't sound very good if it says that not napping enough would make a baby less tired? that doesn't make sense!

The youngest in my family is now almost 3, he naps for about an hour everyday and then goes to bed at 10:00 and gets up at 7:30, he nursed to sleep until recently, although he was otherwise weaned.

have you ever heard of http://westonaprice.org? it might help you figure out if he is allergic to anything, and it will help you be brave enough to try raw milk.

Good luck!

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

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Let Dad take him for a long late night car ride if necessary; you stay home and sleep.

Sudden, dramatic changes are difficult for anyone to get used to. Much easier to take slow steps. When he's sleeping with you and wants to nurse again! shortly after a feeding, you can snuggle up to him, but hold him so that his back is to your belly. He will feel comforted, but you will not be nursing all night. Of course do realize that there could be several things that are causing his "need to feed." He could be just about to start a growth spurt; babies start eating more and more frequently right before a growth spurt. Or he may not be getting enough; your letdown could be excessive, causing him to stop nursing before he is full, so he wants to eat again much sooner than if he had had a full nursing. Think of it as being if you tried to drink out of a firehose. Or he may be falling asleep before he gets a full nursing. In another post someone mentioned the hind milk, and that is very important.

I suggest that you talk with a La Leche League leader, and attend meetings, which will put you in contact with other mothers of babies who may be going through similar situations as you.