Yea I can't hush. Its not wrong to spank a child for pities sake. Ask mine if I love them. Ask them if I have spanked them. Heck even my pediatrician knows that I have spanked them. I don't hide it. Am I beating them or abusing them. Heck no. You look at my kids and they are the most verbal, outgoing, confident, loud, and fun kids you have ever been around. I get comments about it all the time. I also get comments on how mine are some of the best behaved. I think they are little heathens but when we hang around the other kids mine are bloody saints by comparison. Spanking are not the only punishment but its part of the parenting tools I use. Spankings are for specific types of offenses. Anything that can cause physical harm for instance are a big spanking offense. You try to hand your baby brother a snake you caught in the garden. Oh such a spanking time. You run in front of a car because you are being a little idiot and feeling a hyper moment such a spanking offense. I do punish for attitude too. I try to be somewhat respectful when my kids talk to me. I listen carefully. I acknowledge what they are saying. I show interest. When I speak I expect the same. A disrespectful attitude is not accepted by me. I do not yell at them, they may not yell at me. I do not tell them I hate them, they may not say the same to me. They have on occasion. I tell them I love them anyway and to plant that tush in their rooms until they can be respectful and apologize. They will thank me for this later in life when they have control over themselves and do not lash out at someone they love and ruin something. There is always an apology and there is always a request to cuddle, even by the 10 year old, afterward. There is a huge difference when you punish lovingly and punish in anger
"Despite the several attempts above to rationalise physical child abuse it is in fact no more than, at the least, an admission of failure by the parent"
That is so far from the truth. I have no reason to admit failure and yet i still use physical punishment. All physical punishment is not abuse. Physical punishment is not a lazy way out. Actually you really have to take your time. You talk to your child, you work with your child, you may end up spanking your child, you will reassure your child, you will reinforce the lesson you are trying to teach. I'm not lazy. I'm not stressed. Well at least not with my kids. Adults stress me. Kids are a joy. You cannot judge what you do not know. You can try but you'll be wrong. Heck I take my kids everywhere. Find someone who has meet them at a chicken swap meet how low my kids self esteem are. How quiet I force them to be. lol loudest most over confident, vocal, and demanding children I swear. They are a joy to be around though. Its just wrong to think someone spanks because they want them to shut up, go away and stop taking up their time. Some parents might feel that way but you can't paint everyone with the same brush. The same way I would never paint everyone who chooses not to spank as lazy parents who do not love their kids enough to teach them self control, discipline, and respect. I know thats wrong because I know parents who choose not to spank and have still managed to raise loved, diciplined, self controlled, and lovely children.
Anyone who says that you can't spank a child and raise a well balanced, confident,and loved child who will be a well adjusted, confident adult is wrong. I can look back and the screw ups in my life were of my own creation. They had nothing to do with my parents spanking me. My husband was actually abused by a step parent and is less messed up than other adults we know who never had a spanking in their life. Oh I loved the Christmas where one of them decided to sit the whole family down and tell them how they wounded her and scared her for life. ( brought on by the advise of her shrink) There was something about an auntie who refused her cookies and made her finish the vegetables on her plate and thats why she is 100+ overweight today. Too funny! Seriously it was too funny.
Don't spank your kids thats your choice. It can be the right choice for some. Don't assume though because other parents chooses to have spanking as part of their parent tool belt that they are bad parents and their children are doomed to be damaged, unbalanced, unhappy adults. Its not true. Was this mom out of line. Oh heck yea but the discussion has turned from true abuse to any physical punishment being abuse and thats just false. Its a parents choice on how to raise our kids. We each do the best we are capable of. There are those who cross the line and there are laws that deal with them. Most spankings are not abuse. Actually a lot of abuse seems to take the form of fists and throwing. Not spankings.
Ok I'm done. Thats my two cents on the whole thing. I am not super religious but I'll toss this one out anyway. " judge not lest yea be judged." Ya never know how that judgment will swing, ya know.
"Despite the several attempts above to rationalise physical child abuse it is in fact no more than, at the least, an admission of failure by the parent"
That is so far from the truth. I have no reason to admit failure and yet i still use physical punishment. All physical punishment is not abuse. Physical punishment is not a lazy way out. Actually you really have to take your time. You talk to your child, you work with your child, you may end up spanking your child, you will reassure your child, you will reinforce the lesson you are trying to teach. I'm not lazy. I'm not stressed. Well at least not with my kids. Adults stress me. Kids are a joy. You cannot judge what you do not know. You can try but you'll be wrong. Heck I take my kids everywhere. Find someone who has meet them at a chicken swap meet how low my kids self esteem are. How quiet I force them to be. lol loudest most over confident, vocal, and demanding children I swear. They are a joy to be around though. Its just wrong to think someone spanks because they want them to shut up, go away and stop taking up their time. Some parents might feel that way but you can't paint everyone with the same brush. The same way I would never paint everyone who chooses not to spank as lazy parents who do not love their kids enough to teach them self control, discipline, and respect. I know thats wrong because I know parents who choose not to spank and have still managed to raise loved, diciplined, self controlled, and lovely children.
Anyone who says that you can't spank a child and raise a well balanced, confident,and loved child who will be a well adjusted, confident adult is wrong. I can look back and the screw ups in my life were of my own creation. They had nothing to do with my parents spanking me. My husband was actually abused by a step parent and is less messed up than other adults we know who never had a spanking in their life. Oh I loved the Christmas where one of them decided to sit the whole family down and tell them how they wounded her and scared her for life. ( brought on by the advise of her shrink) There was something about an auntie who refused her cookies and made her finish the vegetables on her plate and thats why she is 100+ overweight today. Too funny! Seriously it was too funny.
Don't spank your kids thats your choice. It can be the right choice for some. Don't assume though because other parents chooses to have spanking as part of their parent tool belt that they are bad parents and their children are doomed to be damaged, unbalanced, unhappy adults. Its not true. Was this mom out of line. Oh heck yea but the discussion has turned from true abuse to any physical punishment being abuse and thats just false. Its a parents choice on how to raise our kids. We each do the best we are capable of. There are those who cross the line and there are laws that deal with them. Most spankings are not abuse. Actually a lot of abuse seems to take the form of fists and throwing. Not spankings.
Ok I'm done. Thats my two cents on the whole thing. I am not super religious but I'll toss this one out anyway. " judge not lest yea be judged." Ya never know how that judgment will swing, ya know.
