Childfree

[Katy]

Quote:
I didn't lose anything of myself when I had kids....it added to me.

I honestly find it rather insulting that you feel a person who has kids becomes less interesting......not all my conversations were about my kids and they aren't all about the grandkids now. To assume that everyone who has children is boring and has no life of their own is as bad as if I said everyone who chooses not to have a child is selfish and self centered.

My life didn't stop when I had kids...it changed, but in my view for the better. For awhile when you have kids, especially when they're very young, your life does pretty much revolve around them, but I do think that's the way it's supposed to be.

I didn't have my kids to take care of me in my old age, but I know they and my grandkids keep my life interesting and full of love and caring.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Quote:
I didn't lose anything of myself when I had kids....it added to me.

I honestly find it rather insulting that you feel a person who has kids becomes less interesting......not all my conversations were about my kids and they aren't all about the grandkids now. To assume that everyone who has children is boring and has no life of their own is as bad as if I said everyone who chooses not to have a child is selfish and self centered.

My life didn't stop when I had kids...it changed, but in my view for the better. For awhile when you have kids, especially when they're very young, your life does pretty much revolve around them, but I do think that's the way it's supposed to be.

I didn't have my kids to take care of me in my old age, but I know they and my grandkid keep my life interesting and full of love and caring.

I have a one year old. I run my own business, and have my hobbies. (Obviously, or I wouldn't be here)


Is my daughter very often with me? Yes. Do I do much of anything without her nowadays? no. I still think people find me interesting though.

 

[sadies chicks]

Quote:
Well said FishLady!!

 

[PepsNick]

Well, I plan to be childfree. Never want kids; never have. But then I'm still young and that could change. Anyway, if I do ever get kids, I would adopt and that I'm sure of.

It's not that I want to do other things and not have the responsibility of kids, it's just that I don't have an interest.


To the people who say that a person is less interesting if they have kids? I just don't know what to say to that. PATHETIC.

 

[Glenmar]

Quote:
Well said FishLady!!

Yes. That is a good point. But I think that if some people (and I include myself in this group) are smart enough to realize early on that they don't have it in themselves to be good parents, there would be a lot less unwanted children. Unfortunately most people breed without thinking things through.

 

[booker81]

Unfortunately, it seems the folks who often do not want children would make good parents, and the folks who shouldn't have kids seem to breed like rabbits.

I don't think I'm less interesting for having a spawnlet, but then, I never wanted kids until I met DH...that's NOT saying that "you'll change your mind", I just never apparently had a mate that made me want to reproduce

I want more, but mother nature doesn't agree apparently.

I still treasure my childfree friends, just as I treasure my friends with kids.

 

[Glenmar]

Yes. I suppose I am selfish.

Sometimes I really just want to know why people want kids.
It is a hard topic to debate without people getting defensive.

 

[Glenmar]

Quote:

thanks for that comment

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Quote:
Until you become a parent, you never will fully understand just how amazing it truly is. It's not something for anyone to get upset about, because I truly didn't understand it either. It's a different feeling. It's like a switch was thrown inside me. I went through 9 months of sickness, and hospitalizations. I had to have IV's two and three times a week. I lost weight, never had a single day I felt good. I had to have a C section because she turned a month before delivery. We had to rush to the hospital because my water broke two weeks before our scheduled delivery date. Then when Lillian was finally here, we went through 4 months of colic. It was hell. But I could look you straight in the eye and say I'd gladly do it all again. It's been the most amazing thing I've ever done in my life. Nothing is more important to me.

 

[gryeyes]

I remember my father telling me once, "You never know if you were a good parent until too late."

What an ironic statement that was! He was a HORRIBLE father. He was a practicing alcoholic but never acknowledged it. ("Alcoholic is a fancy name for a drunk, and I'm not a drunk.") Well, Dad, if you need a drink first thing in the morning, every morning, to feel normal, and keep it up until you go to bed at night, you're an alcoholic, even if you never fall down or black out.

We moved a lot when I was young. I later found out that's because we kept getting evicted. He cheated on my mother. He tried to have her committed, and fostered a friendship with a couple hoping they would assist him with that plan, without telling them she was an insulin dependent diabetic, and there often was no money for insulin. He threatened to commit ME when I challenged him as an older teen. He battered my mother, my sister, and me. When he wasn't practicing incest with his "Special Little Princess.". When my mother died (I was 13), he battered my step-mother and her four kids. They all left home as soon as they could.

Typical alcoholic family dynamics meant we never socialized. Dad had his friends, but that was for away from home partying. There was no one to model good parenting for me, or my older sister. She died child free, and so will I.

But I have beloved companion animals and all these chickens and ducks.

Who needs the heart ache of learning you were a bad parent until too late?