Childfree

[booker81]

Quote:
I'll bite

I didn't want kids as a teen and into my 20s. I didn't like babysitting, I didn't like other people's kids, and I certainly didn't want to hamper my lifestyle of do whatever, and drop everything for a roadtrip or cross country jaunt (I live in MI with family in CA, so would fly out on cheap flights every couple years, plus fly to visit friends across country).

I was married at 23, and didn't want kids then either. Just not interested. Too much fun going on, too much to do, and again, no interest in the puke, poo, pee, stress, sickness, screaming and other nastiness that comes with small children.

That marriage crashed and burned in a year. I didn't "meet" DH, I'd known him for years, but we decided to hook up for lack of a better word, and then decided to date exclusively. I suppose it was his stability and groundedness that started to "settle" me down to a domestic lifestyle, or maybe it was his way with his multitude of nieces and nephews, but within a few months, I knew I wanted to create a child with him. Maybe it was some sort of weird internal clock or hormones, but it hit like a ton of bricks. We got pregnant within a year, then 5 months after I got pregnant, got married. DD is 3 years old now. I desperately want another or two, but it's not happened, and treatments are not interesting to me.

So yeah, no reasoning on wanting someone to care for me in old age, or wanting child labor, or anything. Just a primal desire to procreate with a partner who compliments and matches me, who provides for the family, cares for us, etc. Even though the little munchkin is now sick on the couch, I wouldn't trade a single moment of the life I've created and had with her.

The closest desire to having kids for me is like my desire to hunt, fish, and garden in order to feed my family. I don't NEED to do those things, I can get food from the store. I don't NEED to procreate, I can be childfree or adopt. However, the desire to reproduce with my husband and the desire to hunt, fish and garden are things that are part of me and make me content and happy.

Different strokes for different folks though

 

[Glenmar]

Quote:
Sorry all that happened to you.

 

[Glenmar]

Quote:
I'll bite

I didn't want kids as a teen and into my 20s. I didn't like babysitting, I didn't like other people's kids, and I certainly didn't want to hamper my lifestyle of do whatever, and drop everything for a roadtrip or cross country jaunt (I live in MI with family in CA, so would fly out on cheap flights every couple years, plus fly to visit friends across country).

I was married at 23, and didn't want kids then either. Just not interested. Too much fun going on, too much to do, and again, no interest in the puke, poo, pee, stress, sickness, screaming and other nastiness that comes with small children.

That marriage crashed and burned in a year. I didn't "meet" DH, I'd known him for years, but we decided to hook up for lack of a better word, and then decided to date exclusively. I suppose it was his stability and groundedness that started to "settle" me down to a domestic lifestyle, or maybe it was his way with his multitude of nieces and nephews, but within a few months, I knew I wanted to create a child with him. Maybe it was some sort of weird internal clock or hormones, but it hit like a ton of bricks. We got pregnant within a year, then 5 months after I got pregnant, got married. DD is 3 years old now. I desperately want another or two, but it's not happened, and treatments are not interesting to me.

So yeah, no reasoning on wanting someone to care for me in old age, or wanting child labor, or anything. Just a primal desire to procreate with a partner who compliments and matches me, who provides for the family, cares for us, etc. Even though the little munchkin is now sick on the couch, I wouldn't trade a single moment of the life I've created and had with her.

The closest desire to having kids for me is like my desire to hunt, fish, and garden in order to feed my family. I don't NEED to do those things, I can get food from the store. I don't NEED to procreate, I can be childfree or adopt. However, the desire to reproduce with my husband and the desire to hunt, fish and garden are things that are part of me and make me content and happy.

Different strokes for different folks though

thanks

 

[Katy]

Quote:
I don't know whether you're selfish or not.....my point was only in saying you thinking people who have kids aren't interesting is as bad as if I said childless people are all selfish and self centered.

I can't really answer why I wanted kids.....there just was never a point in my life that I didn't want to be a wife & mom above anything else. I knew that had I not been able to concieve I would adopt.

I honestly don't care if people choose to not have kids.....in fact if they don't want or like kids it's better for everyone that they don't have them.....there are already too many unwanted kids in this world as it is.

I don't know how old all of the childless people are on this thread, but I have a feeling some are fairly young. I've known a lot of young people who have at some point in time made the statement they weren't ever having any snotty nosed kids.......most of them are very proud and loving parents now. Thngs change for a lot of people over time.

 

[Glenmar]

Since I don't have a man in my life, I suppose I will not know those desires.
I am OK with that. You guys cleared some thing up..thanks

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
I didn't lose anything of myself when I had kids....it added to me.

I honestly find it rather insulting that you feel a person who has kids becomes less interesting......not all my conversations were about my kids and they aren't all about the grandkids now. To assume that everyone who has children is boring and has no life of their own is as bad as if I said everyone who chooses not to have a child is selfish and self centered.

My life didn't stop when I had kids...it changed, but in my view for the better. For awhile when you have kids, especially when they're very young, your life does pretty much revolve around them, but I do think that's the way it's supposed to be.

I didn't have my kids to take care of me in my old age, but I know they and my grandkids keep my life interesting and full of love and caring.

Well said!!

My son has enriched my life more than I could possibly explain. And I don't think anyone would call me uninteresting.

 

[CrazyChickieMama]

I think the main issue with people who have children vs. people who don't want children is just that, the *versus*...people get defensive, throw insults and it's ridiculous.

I can totally understand why some choose to procreate and others don't.

My aunt, who is in her late forties, has NEVER had a desire to have kids. (My mom gave her plenty of nieces and nephews) I myself have 2 and would like to have 1 more. I have a best friend who has known her entire life that she does not want, will never want to have kids. We get along fine! I don't talk about my kids excessively, she likes to hear about them once in a while, but I do have hobbies and interests besides my kids. And that's healthy.

The defensiveness comes into play with either side when the "opposing" person is insulting or downright rude. So far, everyone here has been pleasant and not argumentative.

I also understand some people's opinions that the world is overcrowded and they refuse to add to it. I like hearing differing opinions.

Just be civil and polite and I think this will be an interesting thread!

 

[Cindiloohoo]

Quote:
I didn't lose anything of myself when I had kids....it added to me.

I honestly find it rather insulting that you feel a person who has kids becomes less interesting......not all my conversations were about my kids and they aren't all about the grandkids now. To assume that everyone who has children is boring and has no life of their own is as bad as if I said everyone who chooses not to have a child is selfish and self centered.

My life didn't stop when I had kids...it changed, but in my view for the better. For awhile when you have kids, especially when they're very young, your life does pretty much revolve around them, but I do think that's the way it's supposed to be.

I didn't have my kids to take care of me in my old age, but I know they and my grandkids keep my life interesting and full of love and caring.

Well said!!

My son has enriched my life more than I could possibly explain. And I don't think anyone would call me uninteresting.

Craptastic you are very definately the most not uninteresting person I know only online.

 

[Katy]

Quote:
I didn't lose anything of myself when I had kids....it added to me.

I honestly find it rather insulting that you feel a person who has kids becomes less interesting......not all my conversations were about my kids and they aren't all about the grandkids now. To assume that everyone who has children is boring and has no life of their own is as bad as if I said everyone who chooses not to have a child is selfish and self centered.

My life didn't stop when I had kids...it changed, but in my view for the better. For awhile when you have kids, especially when they're very young, your life does pretty much revolve around them, but I do think that's the way it's supposed to be.

I didn't have my kids to take care of me in my old age, but I know they and my grandkids keep my life interesting and full of love and caring.

Well said!!

My son has enriched my life more than I could possibly explain. And I don't think anyone would call me uninteresting.

Uninteresting is not a word that comes to mind to describe you DR!!

 

[debilorrah]

I never wanted children until the day I learned I was pregnant, and I only had the one child. To this day I find most peoples children irritating, except the grandkids, and that is because I can hand them back.

Having children is a personal decision between each couple. It does NOT however, make us less interesting. That really kinda ticks me off.