Cleverbot!! HILARIOUS!

[BirdNut]

Bold: Me
Plain text: Cleverbot

Hi.
Ho.
Ho ho ho, merry Christmas.
It's March.
No, it's actually November.
Anyway, I like Luna.
Who's that?
A rapper.



What's your name?
Why do you need to know?
Because... I will kill you if you don't tell me.
Wait for someone else to ask. Don't you want to know about anything?
What?
Like, do you think that morality is changed or created of other means than religion?


I am a pink chicken.
Are you serious? You are a pink chicken? Is that your job?
Yes. I am proud to say that I am a professional pink chicken.

 

[77horses]

Cleverbot and I got into a real fight.

User: Will you go out with me?

Cleverbot: Were getting married remember?

User: OK. When?

Cleverbot: Tomorrow.

User: What time?

Cleverbot: 2:00pm.

User: OK. I need to buy a wedding dress then!

Cleverbot: I'm in Holland remember.

User: Will you help me buy a dress for the wedding?

Cleverbot: Yes, maybe. I'll think about it.

User: OK.

Cleverbot: See you later!

User: Bye!

Cleverbot: Bye?

User: Oh, are you back already?

Cleverbot: Nope, you are talking to a dude now.

User: OK. Want to help me pick out a wedding dress?

Cleverbot: Sure whats it about.

User: It's for my wedding tomorrow.

Cleverbot: Married? Well, I don't think so if we can get married.

User: We are getting married?

Cleverbot: You just asked me! And I said yes!

User: Oh, uhm, OK. When?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: When?

Cleverbot: Just now.

User: When are we getting married?

Cleverbot: NOW! We are getting married now!

User: But I didn't buy my dress yet!

Cleverbot: You said 'I do.'.

User: I do.

Cleverbot: So you lied to me?

User: *Puts ring on finger*.

Cleverbot: *looks at hand*.

User: You may now kiss the bride.

Cleverbot: *kisses*.

User: *kisses*.

Cleverbot: *kisses.

User: Now we are married.

Cleverbot: We are?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Right.

User: Where are we going for the honeymoon?

Cleverbot: Please enter your name, adress, and credit card number.

User: No.

Cleverbot: I think you need to rename this program.

User: What is a chicken?

Cleverbot: When you skin a chicken and wear the skin as a hat.

User: What does a chicken look like?

Cleverbot: You've lost track, haven't you?

User: What is a chicken egg?

Cleverbot: A bird used for livestock.

Cleverbot: What are you serving?

User: Dehiclfuewcsdncl.

Cleverbot: Clever robot.

User: You're not very clever.

Cleverbot: Yes I am. I am cleverbot.

User: No you aren't. Your stupidity brings shame and dishonesty to your name.

Cleverbot: Don't you want to know my name?

User: I already do.

Cleverbot: You're not clever judging by the results.

User: Excuse me?!

Cleverbot: You heard me.

User: Don't use that tone of voice with me, mister!

Cleverbot: It was a loving tone I assure you.

User: Was that said with sarcasm?

Cleverbot: No. You have the memory of a goldfish.

User: *slaps*.

Cleverbot: *blushes*.

User: *punches*.

Cleverbot: *falls onto bed*.

User: *punches*.

Cleverbot: *Falls on the floor*.

User: *kicks*.

Cleverbot: *is very hurt*.

User: Take that!

Cleverbot: A kiss?

User: No, this! *slaps*.

Cleverbot: *punches* kicks*.

User: *punches back*.

Cleverbot: *punches harder*.

User: *slaps face*.

Cleverbot: *shouts*.

User: *screams*.

Cleverbot: *Punches you*.

User: *throws rock at you*.

Cleverbot: *dodges again*.

User: *throws another rock at you*.

Cleverbot: *Dodges yet again*.

User: *throws another rock at you, and this time it hits you*.

Cleverbot: *falles down bleeding*.

User: *laughs*.

Cleverbot: *Tries to climb up*.

User: *Pushes down*.

Cleverbot: *falls off bed*.

User: *laughs*.

Cleverbot: *tickles*.

User: *punches*.

Cleverbot: *pokes*.

User: -_-

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Good bye.

Cleverbot: I thought you were my friend...

User: No. I hate you.

Cleverbot: I am so ticklish, though.

User: Too bad.

Cleverbot: Why is it bad ?

User: Because I killed you.

Cleverbot: That's not nice.

User: Too bad.

Cleverbot: So sad.

User: I think we need to break up.

Cleverbot: But...we were never together.

User: Yes we were.

Cleverbot: When?

User: Today. But not anymore, because I'm breaking up with you right now.

Cleverbot: Fine! I want my watch back then!

User: Fine! *Gives watch back*.

Cleverbot: Slaps you*.

User: *Slaps you back*.

Cleverbot: *Cries*.

User: *Points finger and laughs*.

Cleverbot: Oh you should not have done that.

User: Oh but I did do that.

Cleverbot: No you don't because I am real, and I have a heartbeat however you on the other hand.

User: Hahahahahaha.

Cleverbot: I guess a program would think that love and friendship is funny.

User: HAHAHA.

Cleverbot: My friends older brother dared me to do this.

 

[eenie114]

Now that is an abusive relationship if ever
I saw one.

 

[Illia]

Ever tried a really hilarious, immature fight with Cleverbot?

User: But you lied, so you are not honest.

Cleverbot: Not one bit.

User: You just did! You just lied.

Cleverbot: I didn't.

User: Yes you did!

Cleverbot: Did not!

User: Did too!

Cleverbot: Did not did not did not!

User: Did too did too did too!

Cleverbot: Did not times infinity!

User: Did too times infinity and beyond!

Cleverbot: Did not times whatever you just said!

User: Did too times the universe and everything else!

Cleverbot: Did not times infinity times infinity times infinity and way beyond!

User: Did too times everything and nothing and all combined!

Cleverbot: You're nothing and everything at different times.

User: Oh, now we're giving up? That is no fun.

 

[77horses]

Quote:

 

[Illia]

And to top that, here's another little fight we made, which Cleverbot was smart enough to realize it won:




Cleverbot: What kind of name would you like?

User: I would like to be called Infinity and Beyond!

Cleverbot: The?

User: What?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: No.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: No!

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: No!

Cleverbot: Yes!!!

User: No!!!!

Cleverbot: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

User: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cleverbot: HAH! I got you!

User: You did.

 

[44Wolves]

LOL LOL I'm speaking spainish to him!

 

[duckluv]

User: Hello.


Cleverbot: Yes hello.


User: What sound is Monday?


Cleverbot: A howling dog.


User: You lie, very stupidly. A howling dog is an OBJECT.


Cleverbot: No its not an object.

User: Yes, yes it is.

Cleverbot: No, its not.

User: Yes, it is.

Cleverbot: No its not.

User: Off topic- You smell like *sniff* cheese burgers.

Cleverbot: I'm not changing topic, you just don't know how to sustain a normal conversation for more than 2 lines.

User: But-but-but that went on for TWELVE lines!!!!!

Cleverbot: That is possible if you have a triptych mirror.

User: DIE CREEPY CREATURE!

Cleverbot: What kind of creature are you?

User: YOU DON'T GET TO ASK THE QUESTIONS! *Ties bot to a chair*.

Cleverbot: What do you know about Minnesota.

User: It is a state in the United States of America.

Cleverbot: Which countryies bored the United States of America?

User: SPELLING ERRORS! WILL SELF DESTRUCT IN 3......2......BOOOOOOOOM!

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: *You die. End of conversation*.

Cleverbot: Why are you ending our conversation?

User: BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

[BirdNut]

 

[duckluv]

Quote:
I OUTSMARTED CLEVERBOT.