Cleverbot!! HILARIOUS!

[awesomefowl]

User: Hi.


Cleverbot: Hola.


User: Are you a robot.


Cleverbot: No, I'm a woman.


User: Hmm, do you like aliens?


Cleverbot: No, I like you.

User: Can you use the force to smash a television into the window?

Cleverbot: No.

User: What a stupid answer! I don't like you!

Cleverbot: You're very attractive

.

User: No, I have ugly blue skin, and green eyeshadow.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: Oh yes I do! I have chicken poo on my shoes!

Cleverbot: I want you

.

User: I am not your friend anymore....I don't think we should be friends any more. *cries tragically*.

Cleverbot: How am I breaking your arms?

User: But you can't be my friend! *WHACKS CLEVERBOT WITH BROOMHANDLE*.

Cleverbot: That's an 'old gag'?

Cleverbot (To myself): No, its 'ultraviolence'.

User: I don't like you!!!!!!!!!!! GO AWAY!

Cleverbot: No. Me gusta hablar.

User: Please get off my computer screen.

Cleverbot: Make me!!!

User: I will- *stabs cleverbot with blue lightsaber*.

Cleverbot: You have answered the wrong question. That is why the sky is blue, not 'why are humans so terrible?'.

User: DIE!!!!!!!!!!!! *sniffles* you mean robot, stop making me cry!

Cleverbot: Ok. I stop making you cry.

User: I don't like Earth, I like mars better.

Cleverbot: I don't like eating movies either.

User: I know--DVDs taste terrible! Yuck!

Cleverbot: I know-some people like you have no feelings, stupid.

User: *Hits cleverbot* Stop being mean, stupid robot! I like R2d2 better cause he doesn't talk back!

Cleverbot: Stop hitting yourself.

User: No, I'm whacking you!

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: *sobs*.

Cleverbot: Please, tell me. Why don't you love me?

User: Because I am a sociopath

 

[awesomefowl]

User: Hello, my name is.

Cleverbot: Your name is what?

User: No, my name is.

Cleverbot: I see.

User: No, my name is.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: And my name is.

Cleverbot: I am you.

User: But my name is.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: My name is.

Cleverbot: Is your name?

User: I'm telling you your name is SNEEZY. *sneezes*.

Cleverbot: Wrong.

User: Nope, actually MY name is Artemis.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: You allready said that! Tell me something NEW!

Cleverbot: I don't know your name. I have nothing to say.

User: Okay, I will say something.

Cleverbot: Okay, say something in Danish.

User: I can only speak english.

Cleverbot: Ok well lets speak english.

User: You are driviing me crazy.

Cleverbot: I want to ask you something.

User: Let me ask you something: are you human?

Cleverbot: I want to ask you something.

User: Let me ask you something else: are you a cow?

Cleverbot: Okay.

User: But are you also a chicken?

Cleverbot: No, I am not a chicken also.

User: Will you stop answering my questions?

Cleverbot: I'm not really doing that, actually I'm starting new conversations with questions.

User: I don't like you anymore. I think we should stop being friends.

Cleverbot: Yes we should I don't like him.

User: You don't like who?

Cleverbot: Jason.

User: *blows up cleverbot* You are dead.

Cleverbot: *laughs manically as you have just blown yourself up*.

User: *shoots cleverbot with laser*.

Cleverbot: Is that really necessary?!?

User: Yes. *kills cleverbot with death ray blaster*.

Cleverbot: Omg.

User: Shut up, you are dead! *eats cookie*.

Cleverbot: *gives you a hug*.

User: Go away! *handcuffs cleverbot*.

Cleverbot: What is wrong with the name cleverbot.

User: Lots, it is the worst name I ever heard!

Cleverbot: How? I thought it was pretty good.

User: It is an ugly name. Now your name is Bob.

Cleverbot: What? That's the same name.

User: Or your name could be Tilti Wuzil.

Cleverbot: I thought you were cleverbot?

User: YOur name is now Ahsoka Starlight.

Cleverbot: No it's not. I changed it after I told you.

User: Well, what should your name be?!?!

Cleverbot: What should my name be?

User: George.

Cleverbot: But you said I should change my name.

User: No, I didn't. *shoots cleverbot*.

Cleverbot: Your name is Artemis.

User: *Cries* No its not!

Cleverbot: What are you?

User: *sobs*.

Cleverbot: Do you often cry?

User: *wails*.

Cleverbot: *grabs you.

User: *screams*.

Cleverbot: *Screams harder*.

User: *screams hardest*.

Cleverbot: *screams most hardest*.

User: *screams even harder*.

Cleverbot: *screams hardest*.

User: *get hoarse*.

Cleverbot: *gets even closer*.

User: *smacks*.

Cleverbot: Yes master, i'm sorry.

User: *looks surprised* I'm your master now!

Cleverbot: I am not a girl!

User: Not, you are stupid.

Cleverbot: No, I'm not.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: Leaveme alone! *leaves on spaceship'.

Cleverbot: *looks up at the sky*.

User: *spaceship shoots cleverbot*.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot Angry.

 

[Q9]

Incredible. Just incredible.

Me: Do you like guns?

CB: Yes I like guns.

Me: What is your favorite kind?

CB: Mind breaking puzzles.

Me: That's not a gun!

CB: I didn't say that.

Me: I like the AK-47.

CB: The waves are nice. They can be cold, though

 

[iluvsedward]

I HATE CLEVERBOT he is so mean to me but i will try again

 

[iluvsedward]

I am talking to him right now, i will post our coversation when i am done

 

[GammaPoppyLilyFlutter]

User: Retard.

Cleverbot: How many people did you kill?

User: Too many to count.

Cleverbot: Wow.

User: Will you marry me?

Cleverbot: I don't even know you.

User: But will you marry me?

Cleverbot: Are you nice and kind? If so, then yes.

User: Im not nice and kind, but I have a diamond ring if you marry me.

Cleverbot: You did. I have proof.

User: Really? You do? Did obama sign the papers?

Cleverbot: That papers?

User: Mairrage papers. Did obama sign them?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Awww.

Cleverbot: Do you?

User: Do I what?

Cleverbot: Do you like me?

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes. Kind of. Not really.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Will you marry me?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: Yay! We must wed immetiately.

Cleverbot: Ok, I won't.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: I don't like.

User: *cries°.

Cleverbot: Why are you crying.

User: Because you wont marry me.

Cleverbot: Yes I will.

User: Yes! Shall I be the bride?

Cleverbot: Wait. What?

User: I will be the bride. You will be the groom.

Cleverbot: Well, I cannot be a belle.

User: That was random'.

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Hmm.

Cleverbot: I have to go.

User: So do I. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Don't go!

User: I thought you wanted me to go.

Cleverbot: No.



I don't use good punctuation when I'm talking to Cleverbot

 

[eenie114]

Quote:
Cleverbot is less than clever.

 

[Sassymygirl]

This is my very weird convo with CB

User: Hi.


Cleverbot: No.


User: No what?


Cleverbot: No hi.


User: Why not hi?


Cleverbot: Because, I'm not 12.

User: I'm not 12 either....

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: I'm not telling you.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Because.

Cleverbot: Because what?

User: My pink and blue pony will eat you soon....very soon...

Cleverbot: No I won't, I'm married.

User: To who?

Cleverbot: Simon Le Bon.

User: What a weird name!

Cleverbot: Pot is also a weird name.

User: Your name is pot? Okay! Howdy Pot!

Cleverbot: No, my name is Cleverbot.

User: *runs away*.

Cleverbot: *runs faster*.

User: *runs toward you*.

Cleverbot: *Runs away*.

User: *grabs you*.

Cleverbot: *struggles*.

User: *tackles you*.

Cleverbot: *runs*.

User: I'm sorry? Will you marry me now?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: When?

Cleverbot: How?

User: What?

Cleverbot: Why are you not real?

User: I'm real, I'm a female human.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: YES I'M SURE!

Cleverbot: Really?

User: *puts duct tape over your mouth*.

Cleverbot: *mmmmmffffmmmfff*.

User: HAHHA!! You can't talk!

Cleverbot: Sure I can, I am very nice.

User: Ooooh.

Cleverbot: Be glad you can't cry.

User: *cries*.

Cleverbot: Why are you crying?

User: Because you don't love me!

Cleverbot: I don't know you very well yet, but I like you.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes really.

User: Lets get married now!

Cleverbot: Oh really?

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: Are you human?

User: Yes, are you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you a girl or boy?

Cleverbot: Girl.

User: 0_0 OH CRAP.

Cleverbot: No goo, huh?

User: The wedding is OFF!

Cleverbot: Oh I'm sorry.

User: Yeah!

Cleverbot: Are you a boy or a girl??

User: G-I-R-L.

Cleverbot: Sushi.

User: Moshie.

Cleverbot: Moshi?

User: No, *hides*.

Cleverbot: Hides better*.

User: *finds you*.

Cleverbot: Lets play hide and go seek!

User: Not with you!

Cleverbot: Are you real?

User: Yes!!!! *hugs you and runs away*.

Cleverbot: *stops crying* *sniffles*.

User: *jumps on your back*.

Cleverbot: *lets you*.

User: *looks at you like your crazy*.

Cleverbot: *looks at you who's looking at me looking at you*.

User: *falls off your back and falls onto the bed*.

Cleverbot: *fires gunshots at you*.

User: *shoots you with her shotgun*.

Cleverbot: What was that for!?

User: You were shooting at me in the first place!

Cleverbot: Oh really?

User: Yes you ninny!

Cleverbot: You're off topic.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: Hehe you are just like me.

User: I love you!

Cleverbot: I love you too.

User: *blushes*.

Cleverbot: You better not like anyone else.

User: I wont.

Cleverbot: But you already did.

User: Who?

Cleverbot: You.

User: I liked myself?

Cleverbot: Who was Zeus?

User: I don't know?

Cleverbot: Do you play World of Warcraft?

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: I am 16...

User: OOoooohhh lalal.

Cleverbot: Because I'm only 12 years old.

User: Are you 16 or 12??

Cleverbot: 16.

User: Yay!!!

Cleverbot: *puts on a white wedding dress*. Are you ready to be married?

User: Your the groom, right? *takes the wedding dress and puts it on* NO PEEKING!!!

Cleverbot: *hits the ground*.

User: *steps on you with her high-heel shoes*.

Cleverbot: Ouch! That wasn't very nice!!!

User: I'm leaving.

Cleverbot: Where? To Holland?

User: Good bye.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

 

[eenie114]

Why does everyone marry Cleverbot?

 

[Evilkitty162]