Dad Jokes😂

[Hayden Goseek]

Little known fact: Before the invention of the crowbar,

crows simply drank at home.

 

[Jester57]

Santa’s sleigh hit a helicopter in mid-air.

You should have seen it rain deer.

 

[ChickenLoverTrin]

My obese parrot died today... sad but a huge weight off my shoulders!

 

[Hayden Goseek]

Someone keeps sending me celery and I can't figure out who it is.

I think I'm being stalked.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

 

[Hayden Goseek]

I'm considering opening a Oriental / North African fussion resturant.
I'm going to call it

"Wok like an Egyptian'.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

My wife asked "Is it just me, or is the cat getting fat?"

Apparenty, "No. It's just you" wasn't the right answer.

 

[Jester57]

My wife told us that we, her family, were her Christmas present.

Being returned for a refund kinda broke the holiday magic, however.

 

[Jester57]

I never knew the true meaning of Boxing Day until I told my wife “happy Boxing Day” at 5 AM this morning.

She celebrated by punching me in the face.

 

[Jester57]

I dreamt that I was a wooden ruler.

I was a little bored.