Dad Jokes😂

[Hayden Goseek]

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas.

What he was doing in my pajamas I still don't know.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

I found that the best place to hunt elephants in the United States is in Alabama.

The Tuscaloosa's there.

 

[Jester57]

When my neighbor’s kid kept “borrowing” our basketball without permission, I ended up filling it with lead buckshot.

That way he wouldn’t be taking it lightly.

 

[Jester57]

I just bought some invisibility cream.

Igot it on clearance.

 

[Jester57]

Last night I dreamt that I was a mouse, and had been caught by a hawk. It flew me up to its nest, put me down, and said, “Lord, we thank you for this gift of food.”

It was a bird of pray.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

A fellow skipped out of church to go fishing one Sunday when he was confronted by a huge bear. As he was about to be devoured, he cried out "Dear Lord. I shouldn't even be here I know. If you can't save me, at least make the bear a Christian."
The bear placed him on the ground, folded his hands, and said,
"Bless us Oh Lord, for these thy gifts, which we are about to recieve......"

 

[Jester57]

I once wrestled a water buffalo inside a wigwam and a teepee.

It was in tents.

 

[Jester57]

Last night I dreamt my hair was on fire, and I was being sucked down into a hole.

It was a pipe dream.

 

[Jester57]

It was nice of you to explain the meaning of antagonize to me.

However, this constant need of yours for validation because you did that is really starting to chap my hide.

 

[Jester57]

The bad thing about being the first to ascend and summit a mountain is…

it’s all downhill from there.