Dad Jokes😂

[Hayden Goseek]

My wife asked for a divorce today.
She said I was too 'Un-American.'

I should have seen it coming from a kilometer away.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

 

[Jester57]

I tried forging a knife once, but the tip broke off.

After that, it was kind of pointless.

 

[Jester57]

You should always sleep with your head somewhat higher than your feet.


That is, if you’re so inclined.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

I was looking at all the new Apple products. Any that you can afford?

Apple juice.

 

[Hayden Goseek]

Me: (sobbing) I can't see you any more. I won't let you hurt me again!

Trainer: It was one sit-up. You did one sit-up!

 

[Hayden Goseek]

I was attacked by a heard of cattle today.

But it's okay, I was just grazed.

 

[Jellybean11]

What's red and smells like blue paint?


Red paint....

 

[notabitail]

What's red and smells like blue paint?


Red paint....

 

[janiedoe]

I was attacked by a heard of cattle today.

But it's okay, I was just grazed.

Punelicious!